This One Time, in the ER..
Citation: Dr. Feelgreat. "This One Time, in the ER..: An Experience with Morphine (exp79782)". Erowid.org. Apr 19, 2019. erowid.org/exp/79782
I am an addict, plain and simple. I never intended to become one, but I am sure nobody does. I have used drugs my entire life. Starting with alcohol at about 13 years of age, I have tried: marijuana, LSD, opium, cocaine, crack, numerous pharms, etc. As of a couple years ago, my main focus has been on opiates. I injured my knee at work, and required surgery. After the surgery, my doctor had given me two scrips. Hydrocodone for regular pain, and Oxycodone for really bad pain. This started my love for opiates. It was simple enough at first, as I only took the recommended doses. As time went on, my tolerance quickly jumped up as well.
Cut forward a couple of years, and I needed to go to the ER for extreme pain in my knee. This was the worst it had ever been. I had been to the ER a few times before this trip, and the staff had gotten to know me. They realized that I needed a bit more of the morphine to ease my pain, so basically I ended up receiving 6mg of morphine (IV) every time I asked for pain relief. Now I am sure that quite a few people here take quite a bit more than that, but to me it was pure heaven. I have always been reluctant to inject myself, but as long as it was in a hospital environment, I had no problem with it. The staff had inserted an IV line in my arm that was used for various medicines. Basically, every four hours I was given another 6mg or morphine, and in between those four hours I was given two Percocets to calm me until my next shot. But my oh my.. when the morphine was delivered, I was in love. I assume that the feeling is probably similar to what someone on the street feels when they shoot up. It was an absolute body orgasm. I could feel the morphine coursing through my veins like a warm lover encasing my whole body. To this day, it is still one of the best feelings in my whole life. The nurses would inject me, and then be surprised a little while later that I hadn't fallen asleep after the injection. There was no way that I was going to fall asleep. I wanted to enjoy this feeling for as long as I could. One funny thing that I noticed is that usually when they hit me up with the morphine, I would be watching TV LAND on cable, and all of these old 70's sitcoms would be on. All in the Family, Good Times, Sanford and Son, The Jeffersons. For some reason, these shows enhanced my experience. To this day, if I hear the theme songs to any of these shows, I instantly start the craving of my morphine.
After leaving the hospital, I have fed myself of a steady diet of opiates. I had a pretty good connection through my doctor to get Vicodin, but then I lost my insurance. So after than I was forced to get whatever I could get on the streets. Hydrocodone, Percocets, Oxycontin.. I have gone through them all. I constantly think about the morphine IV though. I have never gotten the guts to inject myself. I know that once I pass that threshold, there will be no going back. I love my opiates too much. I have even recently dabbled with heroin. I know this is dangerous, but it is cheaper than trying to find someone with legal pharms. The high is much better too. When that day comes that I am willing to jam a spike in my vein, my life will be over. I will probably shoot myself up until I overdose. It is a sad realization, but I know that I am in love with opiates, and it will not go away anytime soon.
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