Citation: Konnexion. "The Subtle Steamroller: An Experience with 5-MeO-DMT (exp79223)". Erowid.org. Jun 16, 2009. erowid.org/exp/79223
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After smoking 5-MeO-DMT a couple of times, I had been wanting to insufflate it, having heard and read so many fantastical things, ranging from tortuously frightening experiences to heavenly bliss. Finding myself rather free of obligations and at home alone on a Friday afternoon, I decided to give it a shot. My use of psychedelics is primarily for therapeutic purposes, although no doubt, they've provided for some good recreational times as well in the past. Iíve been feeling kind of down on myself lately, so today I wanted to dig deep and see what might be bothering me.
Unlike my older batch of 5-MeO-DMT, which was a creamy colour, this sample was bright snow white, almost sugary. Crisp, evenly sized, tiny crystals. I cut up 5 mg on the dining room table, weighed with concentration and diligence on my milligram scale, and snorted it up my left nostril with trepidation at 2:10 PM. The experience unfolded as follows:
2:13 - First alerts, and rapidly moving to a plus one. The nasal burn is rather nasty, but not quite as ferocious as 2C-E. It smells like DMT but a lot milder ... which I am thankful for. Strangely enough, the smell of DMT always reminds me of my Grade 3 teacher, Mrs. Simpson, who suffered from an insane and disagreeable case of halitosis. She could make eyes water at 20 paces.
Wow, after only five minutes I am feeling sleepy and relaxed, dreamy, confused. My nose hurts. My head feels full, of what Iím not quite sure ... it's time to lay down.
2:20 - I lay on the couch, one eye cocked strategically towards the painting on the wall, relishing in the fact that the pain in my nostril is subsiding. I'm still feeling very lightheaded, dizzy and disoriented. The come-up has been a little rough, rocky, but I've felt worse on various other substances. I'm twitchy, and points on my face are spasming sporadically; my lips, cheek, eye lid ... it's a little distracting. I notice that despite my amped-up condition, my heart is beating normally.
I drag myself up to write some notes, fighting the urge to do nothing. Typing is easy ... almost easier than usual ... which really is strange because I feel totally disconnected and disoriented but my fingers seem to be working quite well. The rest of my body feels like it is immersed in agave syrup. Weird ... I feel a sting on the top of my head where I had an acupuncture needle inserted a few hours ago.
There is not much happening visually, but things do look different, similar to the way things look when I stand up too fast and feel faint, but I don't feel faint. Not much in the way of closed eye visuals. I am listening to Boards of Canada, which I must recommend for psychedelic traveling by the way. Music doesn't sound better or worse ... just the same. I feel a little sick and shaky, but not too bad. Iím still very sleepy and dreamy, so I go to lie down on the couch again.
2:30 - Things have definitely peaked and I'm slowly returning to the mundane condition of everyday reality. I still feel dreamy and drugged, but nothing noteworthy is happening and this is something of a disappointment because I am in the mood to be moved. I consider that going deeper wouldn't be such a bad thing, and I ponder doing more. I am reluctant to endure that terrible nasal burn again ... uh, well ... fuck it, Iíll do a bit more.
2:40 Ė I found it surprisingly easy to operate my scale and carefully measure out my next dose. I snort another 5 mg ... yes, still a crappy burn ... ugh. Within 3 minutes I'm coming back up ... harder ... yes, much harder this time. I stagger to the couch, and flop myself down, a warm, tingling flush settling across my skin from head to toe. Time passes.
2:57 - Whoa ... coming back to earth ... that was pretty intense. I'm able to type at this point but it would have been quite challenging five minutes ago. I convey the experience as follows:
I found myself swirling through a dreamy, squishy, reality-bending place ... the Boards of Canada providing the perfect backdrop to the experience and the music has begun to merge with all of my senses. This is unlike any other psychedelic ... it's very physical, I'm in a meat grinder, my body twisting and churning through space. Although that metaphor sounds scary and uncomfortable, it's neither; I'm mostly indifferent to the physical sensations. There's a great deal of movement in my visual field, but there's little or no colour, a monochrome morphing multi-scape. Twisting and turning geometric shapes dominate. But that raises the point that these arenít really visuals so much as visions. I'm not seeing with my eyes as it were, but rather I'm seeing with my mind's eye.
My autonomic nervous system is depressed, and I must repeatedly remind myself to breathe. Most interesting is that through all of this, there is a sober part of me, an observer, sitting nearby and able to think with perfect clarity. It's as if I'm split in two, one part of me swirling through a haze of obscurity while the other half of me sits by like a semi-concerned psychoanalyst, one leg crossed over the other, scribbling notes in a small white notebook. This sober self encourages me to stay calm through what at times are challenging moments, what at times are slightly frightening. Although immersed at this point, I am still unsatisfied ... there are many strange feelings but nothing of any meaning, nothing that amounts to anything more interesting than a detached, disembodied delirium.
3:06 Ė I return sluggishly to the computer to type, which again, I find surprisingly easy to do. My head is swimming, but 3 of my 8 fingers accurately dance across the keyboard, punching out words with lightning speed. I have minor open eye visuals, not unlike the onset of DMT, where colours are brighter, and everything is clearly outlined and plastic looking. Pixelated. I feel anaesthetized to a degree, but there is quite a lot of tension and pain throughout my body, which is not unusual for me, so I stand up to stretch my achy muscles. I hang limply, bent at the waist and release much of the tension, feeling a much needed pull through my legs, lower back and between my shoulder blades. It is at this moment that some very therapeutic effects begin:
Indeed, I suffer from chronic pain, and I begin to see that it is at least partially a manifestation of my inner psychological unrest. This idea comes to me with great clarity and I realize I am not taking an active enough role in dealing with my pain. I should be exercising more, and perhaps meditating to achieve deeper states of relaxation. I then think of an employee of mine who works very hard, and I realize I probably don't give him the positive feedback he deserves. I take him for granted. I scurry to the kitchen to write myself a reminder note to rectify this when he returns from vacation. I also realize that my work wardrobe is getting shabby. In an effort to minimize my impact on the earth, I try to get the most mileage as possible out of my clothes, but I probably need to bite the bullet and get some new ones. For all the work I do to minimize my impact on the earth, perhaps I can afford myself this small token of self-appreciation.
Yes! What mind medicine! Thereís more, but I'll save you from the personal details.
I decide I really should do this more often.
I have the munchies.
3:48 - I've been on a linear easy-going come-down for the past 45 minutes, and spent this time satisfying my munchiness with an evil bowl of Doritos and pondering my life condition. I feel no ill effects as the drug departs my body, as I would for sure if I were coming down from say, 2C-E. I am almost down to baseline, and I return to my office work with renewed vigor. I take a break to stroll off down the road to pick up my mail and talk about a movie with a very good friend on the telephone. The sun is bright and warm on this fine spring day in Shpongleville.
4:30 Completely straightened out and no come-down to speak of; no tension, no pain, no jitters, no lack of appetite, no cracked-out feeling I usually get from psychedelics Ö I feel wonderful and giddy. I begin to prepare a homemade pizza for my love, who is returning from work shortly. I smile reassuredly to myself as I work. Iím happy and excited to share my experience with her.
This definitely lived up to all of my expectations. Although it left many questions unanswered, 5-MeO-DMT provided great therapeutic benefit, and I look very forward to doing it again soon. This was not a recreational experience for me. I couldnít label it as fun at all, but it was rewarding and enlightening. I donít suspect the DEA is particularly concerned with this one. The strange, intense and sometimes uncomfortable effects of this material will make its use self-limiting for sure. File this one under ďMedicineĒ.
No doubt, 5 mg was not enough. 10 mg was adequate, but I could have gone deeper, and next time will increase my dose to 7+7. Splitting the dose was a good idea. I think it smoothed out the come-up somewhat and allowed me to transition into the deeper experience with greater ease. I have no doubt that in larger doses, this medicine could serve me with the terror I have read so much about, and at times in the past felt. The ominous power of 5-MeO-DMT is well understood by this meek and humble traveler. I will proceed with great caution and respect.
I can only thank a higher intelligence (God?) for providing these gateways to higher consciousness.
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