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Very Anxious, and My Mind Was Racing
MDMA (Ecstasy)
by Rollerr
Citation:   Rollerr. "Very Anxious, and My Mind Was Racing: An Experience with MDMA (Ecstasy) (exp78637)". Erowid.org. Jan 16, 2020. erowid.org/exp/78637

 
DOSE:
2 tablets oral MDMA

BODY WEIGHT: 110 lb


Bad Ecstasy Trip

I have had many great experiences while using ecstasy, and before my bad trip, the thought of even having a bad trip on ecstasy didn't even register in my mind. I have used over twenty times, and, until recently had not ever had a negative experience. I used to usually only take one traditional dose of ecstasy, and after a few months of rolling I deciding I needed to up my dosage to achieve the high I wanted, because I was beginning to gain a tolerance.

One night I swallowed two tablets, and decided to go to a party. I think this is where I made my first mistake. When I arrived at a party, I was feeling fine, and the rolls began to kick in after about an hour. It was then when I began to feel extremely self aware. I felt as if everyone at the party was giving me dirty looks, and I thought everyone was whispering about me. Also, although I knew every single person at the party, I felt like they were strangers, and I began to get extremely paranoid. I was very anxious, and my mind was racing, with negative thoughts. I felt as if I was having a panic attack, and I turned pale white and started sweating.
I felt as if I was having a panic attack, and I turned pale white and started sweating.
I began over analyzing little things, and I freaked out over normal noises, like a dog barking. I had never in my life been so paranoid, and I have never wanted something to end so badly. I had to leave the party, and even when I got home I was still not able to calm down, and I had to wait until the roll was done, until I was able to relax.

A few friends had taken the same rolls as I had, but they didn't have the same experience, so I know it wasn't a bad batch of rolls. People have told me before, that when trying a drug for the first time, or when upping your usual dosage, to make sure you’re in a comfortable environment, but now I really understand. I would not recommend going into an unfamiliar environment, with lots of people, when doing either. Or if you think you can handle it, make sure you’re with people who understand what a bad trip is like, and will be there to help you out and calm you down.

I have since taken ecstasy, and I have not had another bad trip. I just make sure I'm in a comfortable environment, with close friends.

Exp Year: 2009ExpID: 78637
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Jan 16, 2020Views: 606
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MDMA (3) : Bad Trips (6), Large Group (10+) (19)

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