Citation: DwarfOpey. "I Never Knew I Could Love Addiction: An Experience with Oxycodone, Hydrocodone & Tramadol (exp78430)". Erowid.org. Jan 9, 2018. erowid.org/exp/78430
So it has been about a year and half maybe even two (who knows), and still going strong that I have been under the trance of opiates. I started when I was 19, I am now 21 and I have not had the chance to “get clean” or “sober up” since around that time, but do I really want to? “Addiction is not to be played with or taken lightly“, I heard it all the time ever since I was a kid. I guess you could say in some ways I still am that kid.
It all started with the usual prescription of vicodin for post-operative pain my Sophomore year in High School. I never had a drug before then except a drink of beer and maybe a cigarette, but I fell in love. I was able to stay home from school (which I already enjoyed), play Halo 2, and relax in opiate bliss, away from it all. No access from opiates for awhile. Fast forward to my heavy marijuana use in high school. This is my first struggle with addiction. I know there are people like me who thought marijuana is not addicting but once you start using it quite often, you say to yourself “it is okay, weekends only” then comes weekdays, then everyday. It is not like I get withdrawals from not smoking weed but I sure love doing it everyday and have not really stopped since aside from vacations. I loved being the pothead for some reason. People liked me, looked up to me in some ways, and like to hang out with me. I feel like marijuana is what got me what I had in high school so to speak. In high school is when I discovered the all out bliss and euphoria that one gets when mixing vicodin and marijuana (one of the best feelings I ever had). Now all that is over and I still smoke while attending college and this is when I discovered tramadol during my sophomore year of college in Fall ‘07, a synthetic opiate that acts somewhat like a painkiller. It gave me an overall great feeling that I got from vicodin and mixing it with marijuana only made the experience better in so many ways. I like tramadol because it is like vicodin but lasts up to 3-4 times longer in some cases. I am one of those lucky people who get great opiate results from tramadol/ultram.
Now it is April 2009 and I have not had a full month without opiates. I believe three weeks was my longest without about 2-3 months after I tried tramadol for the first time. Since that time I have not been without tramadol, Norco/vicodin (hydrocodone/ Tylenol), or my favorite since trying it for the first time around September, Oxycodone. My first experience with this was with a prescription of percocet (oxycodone w/ Tylenol) I got from a source. I loved it with weed as I am a daily weed smoker. At this point to clarify I smoked weed like a tobacco addict would smoke cigarettes (about 7 grams every 2-3 days) and this is high quality medical marijuana as I have my medical card for a legit condition I have. The percocet ran out within a week or two (120 tablets) and I was on the hunt for either more oxycodone, vicodin, or tramadol. I had a high tolerance for tramadol because of the ease of acquiring some through the internet for cheap so I wanted either the new drug oxy I tried or the good ole vicodin I have always loved. I opted for oxy and the source I found ended up having red Oxycontin 60’s and also sold Norco’s (hydrocodone w/ Tylenol).
This was Nov ‘08 and since I have hit the guy up every few weeks or sometimes once a week. Opiates give me a feeling that I loved, a feeling of well-being, a feeling that I could have everyday if I wanted to. I never met my uncle because of heroin, and for that reason I vow never to try that drug. What scares me is that I do oxy in illicit ways (snorting, or rectally shoot it) because those are the quickest onsets which I heard is close to what heroin feels like. Now because I did not try the actual drug but rather its substitute these days, I feel like curiosity is getting the best of me like it did my uncle at his age. I guess getting a taste of what people will kill, steal, and die for is an adventure that I want to but will never allow myself to take. For now the substitute of heroin, oxy, is my drug. It allows me to be calm and serene in a fast-paced and chaotic society. It allows me to love and feel loved. It allows me to be who I want and that is why taking is daily, although risking addiction, was my own choice. I taken it to the point where I was sick, to the point where I had no more money, and to the point where I needed a dose that would have killed me the first time I tried it. Tolerance is the only enemy to an addict because is causes him to use more, want more, and spend more.
Now I chose this path. I was smart enough to see I was on my way to addiction but for some reason I was powerless to stop it because my mind is saying “It is okay, addiction is what makes me feel alive”.
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