Citation: Bundi School. "Life Is Much Better!: An Experience with Tabernanthe iboga (Iboga) (exp76960)". Erowid.org. Jan 24, 2010. erowid.org/exp/76960
So I would like to explain the iboga experience after actually experiencing it myself. I wouldnít know where to start but I suppose I will start from the beginning. I went to my girlfriends on the Friday night and to be honest I was pretty apprehensive and it was going to be a big thing for me I had already decided that. The first thing was that I was really hungry as there was to be no eating before the iboga trip and also no water a certain amount of time before it. I was nervous, hungry and very thirsty not the combination to take drugs to you would have thought. But I think the most important thing to point out is that this is not a drug and I will explain later why I think that.
I started with a tester dose, which were two tablets, which had about 0.5grams in each tablet. We sat and watched ĎThe Simpsonísí and unbelievably my paranoia seemed to really calm down and I was ok. There were no real weird occurrences till about an hour later when my girlfriend shouted me from the kitchen and her voice echoed like in a cave. I suppose it was then I knew things were getting different. I then proceeded up to my bed where it was all set up cold turkey style. There was a mattress, a cover, some toilet roll and a bucket. I sat there for a minute and then took my dose. I think there were about six tablets to take so that upped my dose in all to eight tablets, which in total was 4grams of iboga root bark. It was about ten minutes after that I suddenly had a big bout of paranoia again. I remember thinking if I can go and force myself to be sick then I might avoid this whole thing. Reasoning prevailed and I just thought about all the crap that Iíve had with drugs and sat there.
And I sat there! It must have been about an hour and a half before anything happened and then, fucking hell did something happen!!! The first thing that I noticed was my body start to feel incredibly heavy almost like being very drunk but without the crappy feeling that comes with it. To be honest I really enjoyed the feeling but I can see how it could be a bit heavy for some people. So I laid back and looked about me, I only had a dim light on but nothing much seemed to be happening as far as visuals went. My girlfriend suggested that I turn the light off and shut my eyesÖ then it started!
The first thing I remember seeing was my own eyes in front of me when I shut my eyes. It was very strange and I almost felt like I wasnít part of myself and I was looking in on my own brain. My brain seemed to be represented by this massive green neon matrix type thing and I was looking at it. It also seemed to be sectioned off into different folders almost like some kind of computer system. Then the visions started and it was almost every time I shut my eyes. I would start going towards a different folder at what seemed like light speed and then visions would hit me at a hundred miles an hour. It was quite intense at first and a lot to take in. It wasnít only closed eye visuals either. The neon experience went into the bedroom as well as I could see ĎVitruvian Maní by Leonardo Da Vinci (you know the one that they have on Panorama?) and also visions of men shooting discs and things from a big cannon. All of which were in neon. But it was the closed eye visuals that were the most intense. I saw and was there with a big gang of Asian youths fighting against the police and almost had a conversation with a man named ĎJamalí who was fighting for a cause he didnít believe in. Everything seemed to have relevance and importance and I had to just try and sort it out in my head. Which at the time was very mixed up and all over the place I would have thought.
The main vision that made the difference I feel was seeing myself as a school child when I had a fight with a very popular child at the school. I remember everyone turning on me and chasing me across the field. I bumped into two so called friends at the time who also rejected me. I remember being so upset and so angry at the rejection that the rest of my life I had tried so hard to be friends with people, often people I didnít like just to feel wanted. Again this felt resolved as I saw it and I seemed to feel better after seeing it. Then came the big one, I started to see myself but from another persons point of view. Almost like seeing someone that looked exactly like me. He was walking along (me that is) and suddenly he started to be attacked and beaten and then murdered. It was quite scary at first but then I saw different visions of the so called Ďmeí being beaten, shot, hung, stabbed, electrocuted and in fact every type of execution you can think of. This to me was the murder of the old me and the birth of the new me. I also felt much better afterwards. I donít know how long these visions lasted but my girlfriend was checking on me all the time and apparently I was trying to explain and talking gibberish this went on into the next day.
The day after I was still pretty gone but I wasnít hallucinating and then the purging started and Iíve always had a bit of a weak stomach but Iíve never been sick like it in my life. I worked out I must have been vomiting for at least two hours and it was one of the most grueling experiences Iíve had. As you can imagine their wasnít a lot to vomit but somehow I found stuff in my body to vomit. I think it was mainly acid and crap but I believe it was more and I think it was all the poison I had inside me. I know a little spiritual but I do think thatís what happened. Then at the end I was very drained and very tired but I couldnít sleep. My body was fucked but my mind was like a circuit board buzzing with all this new space I had made in my brain.
So I suppose you want to know whatís happened? Well this is how it is.
I am now completely drug free and havenít had a single craving since I took the iboga. I feel much happier much more awake and much more active. I feel like I have a new lease of life and that I really have a chance now of turning my life around. I have been sleeping less but have had more energy (work that one out!) and I have been walking the dogs, which I never did before.
But I must point out that my life isnít perfect. I havenít got a job, Iíve got no money, Iíve had to think about being friends with people I know and have had to really want to change to keep up the positivity. So it hasnít just been that I took the iboga and life is perfect. In summaryÖ
LIFE ISNíT PERFECT BUT ITíS A MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN IT WAS!!!
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