Free From This Prison
Paroxetine (Seroxat)
Citation:   Myocardial. "Free From This Prison: An Experience with Paroxetine (Seroxat) (exp76889)". Erowid.org. Feb 24, 2012. erowid.org/exp/76889

 
DOSE:
10 mg oral Pharms - Paroxetine (daily)
BODY WEIGHT: 18 kg
To cut a long story short, last year I lost my job. For me, this was quite a harrowing event as I had worked since leaving school, had a flat, bills to pay etc. Within the first month, I had become agoraphobic, extremely anxious, had a specific phobia and became depressed. I had always been quite a quiet, anxious person already, but I felt now as if I had lost my whole 'self'. I really did hate my life, and although I said it, I don't think people believed me and that I was just being my old silly self. Little did they know that I meant every word and that every day I hoped I would not wake up again.

I have never been skeptical about medications and so was very open minded about trying anything along with cognitive behavioral therapy. I was prescribed Paroxetine 10mg and referred to a psychologist.

At first, the only side-effects I had were occasional headaches and an overwhelming desire to sleep more. In some ways, this was a bad thing, as it meant I spent a lot of time procrastinating. After a few weeks, I began to feel better. I remember the biggest thing for me was getting up one day and walking into town (something which I was so scared to do beforehand, and I only lived 15 minutes from town). Gradually, I started to make this a more frequent occurrence and also would manage really scary things like getting on a bus or train (laughable, I know, but for me these things had to be avoided). As time went on, I felt a bit more confident in myself and wanted to focus on what I could achieve in life.

On the other hand, one thing that is slightly disappointing is that I no longer have the sexual desire I once had. My partner has brought this issue up and I certainly notice a huge difference in that I am not that bothered anymore if I have sex or not! Another small disappointment is that I have some slight 'zap' moments in my brain, whereby if I move my head slightly I get a wee zappy feeling....it is really hard to describe unless you understand!!

Obviously, having CBT has helped immensely, and I do take that into account. But I know that Paroxetine has been of great benefit, even on such a low dose.

Never before have I felt so positive about the future. Yes, I do have bad days, which I knew to expect, but all in all, I can say that using Paroxetine has been nothing but a positive experience. I do worry that I may become reliant upon it, but anything is better than feeling as though I was better off dead.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 76889
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 24, 2012Views: 6,717
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Pharms - Paroxetine (148) : Medical Use (47), Various (28)

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