Big Bad Bipolar Trip
DXM & Endogenous (Bipolar Disorder)
Citation:   justinian. "Big Bad Bipolar Trip: An Experience with DXM & Endogenous (Bipolar Disorder) (exp76838)". Erowid.org. Jun 14, 2009. erowid.org/exp/76838

 
DOSE:
1080 mg oral DXM (capsule)
BODY WEIGHT: 200 lb
DXM messed up my mind. I took a big dose, 40 robo-gels and 16 triple-c tabs (1080mg) in mid-November. My pupils were still dilated for five days after the trip, but it’s what happened after that. November 30, 2008: I take the recommend dose of Robo syrup for a cold. The night of December 1st, only three weeks after my mega-dose, begins the most desperate and terrifying month and a half that I hope I never will experience again.

It was a psychotic episode that never ends. For solid week I experienced a different type of hallucination, if you can imagine, every single night, and then the rest of the time I had dissociative symptoms, like feeling I was floating away from my body, not as pleasant as it was during the trip, and other frightening delusions. Every day I was hanging on to my sanity by a thread. I didn’t even bother looking for a job during this time. I finally came out of it a few weeks ago, in mid-January, with the aid of heavy anti-psychotics that have given me a little blood sugar problem, but I can deal with that.

Was DXM the sole cause of this nightmare? No. Bipolar disorder has cycles like this. However, according to my psychiatrist, the DXM made these symptoms worse and harder to treat, and may have even pushed me over the edge. Go back a year ago. Mid-October 2007. I had been taking smaller doses of DXM since the summer. I stepped up the dose and took 20 Robo gels (300mg). I had a little psychosis the next day, and I randomly slashed the tires of the car next to me. Next month I had full blown psychotic mania and was in the hospital for a week. They gave me the infamous 'shock treatment', which really isn’t that bad.

In any case, people who are normally susceptible to psychosis, such as schizophrenics, obsessive-compulsives, depressives, and bipolars, should probably stay away from the stuff, since it can aggravate the illness and make it harder to treat. Would it really have taken over a month to shake off the psychosis had I not taken the DXM? That question can’t be answered, but the conclusions are somewhat obvious considering how much I took and when I took it. Bottom line is, if you’re already crazy, don’t take something that’s going to make you even crazier. I hope I never do this drug again. That one big dose has given me strong cravings for it, but God help me if I ever give in to those cravings. Can't fuck up my life twice.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 76838
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 14, 2009Views: 8,973
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DXM (22), Endogenous (86) : Post Trip Problems (8), Multi-Day Experience (13), Health Problems (27), Unknown Context (20)

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