Citation: C. "Back to My Love: An Experience with Codeine (exp76699)". Erowid.org. Dec 7, 2019. erowid.org/exp/76699
Let me say that my drug/s of choice have always been opioids. (At least since I discovered them) and my favorite amongst them has been codeine. (I live in India, the only other real choice is heroin, since they donít sell the oxycodones and hydrocodones here, though there are some milder choices like tramadol)
But I love Codeineís soft, shy (even the smallest distraction will often ruin the trip) and warm high and the euphoria it gives without all of the headaches stronger opioids give anyway. To give you a background, the first opioid I started with was heroin some 7 years ago. Since the bitch is so addictive, I did get addicted to it and stayed that way for about a year and suffered all of the usual punishments which addiction dishes out. Somehow after that period I was able to quit and stay clean of all drugs even pot for the next 5 years. Then one day after a party, a work mate of mine pulls out a bottle of the codeine syrup from his bag and has it in front of me. He tells me itíll help him sleep when he gets home. Naturally I donít hesitate a bit in accepting a gulp because I too just wanted to doze off as soon as I hit my bed and by the time I return home, the Codeine high hits me.
At first all I could feel was a buzz in my head and an anesthetic sort of effect sort of like benzodiazepines (which I had plenty of experience with in my younger days) but then theÖ ĎMellownessí spreads through out my body and I notice that the buzz is much better than a booze buzz, itís in fact euphoric. I decide to enjoy and explore the trip better and postpone sleeping, sit on the pc and start playing music which Ďfeelsí much better now than ever before and I start nodding off gently every minute or so. Itís not the same when you are nodding off on heroin but better because in this you are aware of yourself completely. Anyway, after a few more minutes I canít resist sleeping and go to bed. I wake up the next morning feeling fresher and better rested than in years and well, I thought what an amazing discovery I have madeóCodeine.
Since then I start taking it regularly having many many wonderful and thoughtful trips and unfortunately get habituated to it. And well, all good things come to an end and so did this, after I did C regularly the magic just does not last. Not only does my body adjust to the drug but my mind does too and after a while I found myself getting bored even though I might be swimming in codeine syrup. At first, the magic would indeed return if I stopped for a week, a ten day period or more and went back to C. At the time the tolerance my body/mind developed was temporary but gradually the tolerance became permanent.
I once stopped C for a whole month and did it again and it felt like crap really- a fraction of the original buzz, some irritability, depressed feelings and the feeling of complete bliss completely absent. Another thing with me was that I got pretty addicted to the stuff (in a psychological way, the physical withdrawals were never a real issue with mildy codeine.) and the addiction did take some toll on my life. Well, after many trials and errors, I quit codeine and all opioids completely about 2 Ĺ half months ago and well yesterday I decide to have another round of C and purchase 2 bottles of syrup (400mg in all) and have 1 ľ of it right away, sure enough I get the buzz after a while, at first a feeling of warmness spreading throughout my body, the buzz and the euphoria but again as before, I find that any negative lingering feelings, thoughts in my psyche donít disappear as they would when I first used to trip on C. Instead they are right there waiting to come back at me as soon as the wall of euphoria brought on by C lifts. I also canít sit in one place and droll like it used to be before but feel restless enough to move about and do this or that, drink this or that, smoke continuously etc. And since the euphoria brought on by C is so mild and shy as compared to itís other more powerful opioid relatives, any distraction destroys the trip but I canít help but distract myself, I swallow the rest of the syrup I have and the high intensifies in a while but I also start feeling faint itchiness here and there on my body which tells me that I am going to be very itchy by the time I am coming down. Again, I get restless every now and then and when I start coming down I feel intense despair, irritability. Everything seems negative and only makes me angry or depressed. These feelings are so strong that I go out and have two whiskies and get something to eat because I havenít eaten anything. After that I come home and try to sleep but canít sleep till 4:30 in the morning. (this is what C did every time to me, earlier as well; destroy my sleep timetable except in the very beginning when I it would give me such blissful sleeps)
So, if anything, this indicates that I have developed a major allergy to Codeine now and should stay away from it, I am unlucky perhaps (or maybe lucky) but thereís no way I am going to endure the discomfort this favorite drug of mine brings and stay away.
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