Citation: DavidArtist987654321. "The Transport Molecule: An Experience with DMT (extracted from Mimosa hostilis) & Salvia divinorum (exp76614)". Erowid.org. Jun 13, 2009. erowid.org/exp/76614
||(powder / crystals)
This record is an account of my first true breakthrough experience with Dimethyltryptamine extracted from Mimosa Hostilis root bark ‘aka Jerema.’ My first DMT extraction involved shredding 1 kilogram of the root bark in a coffee grinder which yielded an off pink-purple mulch with fine powder collecting on the bottom. This material was basified to 12 PH using Sodium Hydroxide from Roebic’s Crystal Drain cleaner. Red Devil lye had been taken off the market and this was the only available substitute I could find (Roebic appears to now be off the market as well).
The bark material was allowed to sit in the solution for 10 hours. Afterward 5 extractions of non-polar Mineral Spirits were taken from the bark/sodium hydroxide solution. A ratio of 1:10 of Mineral Spirits were added to the bark solution then shaken viperously for 5 minutes. The two layers of non-polar and polar solvent solutions were left to sit for 30 minutes to separate. After the solution was separated using a Turkey baser it was added to a large glass bowl. All 5 extractions were completed in this same procedure. Each extraction was added together leaving me with roughly 700-800ml of dark yellow liquid.
This liquid was then added to a 1 gallon bag and 3-4 times the amount in water was poured into it. The layer of non-polar solvent was then separated from the polar water solvent. A scissor was used to cut a bottom corner of the bag to allow the water layer to drain out. Just as the water finished draining the bag was immediately placed over another glass bowl so the non-polar solvent could flow into it. This procedure was repeated 4 times to make sure all sodium hydroxide (water soluble) was removed from the non-polar solvent. The yellow liquid material was then poured into a large glass baking pan and allowed to evaporate. After a week or so the solvent had completely evaporated leaving an orange lucent wax substance which upon scraping up yielded a light sienna type tar.
Initial trials of smoking this substance resulted in a very painful and unsettling smoke using a glass pipe. 50 mg of so created definite altered consciousness, perception, and visual distortion. However, my lung capacity prevented me from smoking any more of this orange brown material.
I still had 4 kilograms of Mimosa Hostilis bark sitting in the freezer. After my disappointing extraction results I dismissed it as a source for crude DMT. I figured the tar may be a great substitute for drinking the foul Ayahuasca tea, but was not an acceptable source of smokeable DMT.
The irony being after about 1 year I was cleaning out my freezer and stumbled upon one 2 kilo bag of Mimosa Hostilis bark and a second bag of finely ground 2 kg bark. I had thought about selling it or making several Ayahuasca teas which I’ve never tried due to certain medications I’m taking. Either way I figured I’d condense the solution down to something more storage friendly or at least make a few bucks off of it. I then decided selling year old mimosa bark isn’t fair to the buyer and decided I’d do the same extraction process I had tried 1 year prior.
I had gone through the same exact series of extractions using the polar and non-polar separations which I had utilized 1 year earlier. However, I chose to evaporate the substance in a different setting. Instead of evaporating outside, I stuck the dishes in a slow ventilation area in the garage. I used two baking glass dishes because I had twice the mineral spirit material to work with. I basically left the dishes in those cupboards for about two months. I should note that during those two months it was the coldest time of year between december and february. Temperatures in the garage regularly experienced highs of 50 degrees and lows of 30 degrees.
I had actually forgotten about the trays for a month when I went onto an entheogen forum and began looking into tryptamines. This jolted my memory and I remembered about the trays I had forgotten. That night I went into the garage and pulled both trays out of the cupboard. To my surprise I noticed white bumps scattered throughout them. They were such a pure white I almost mistaken them for some sort of freak fungal infection. Upon further inspection I noticed these bumps looked like finely defined crystalline structures. There was still liquid within the dishes so I poured it into a glass bowl and stuck the remaining solution into the freezer for 48 hours. The white crystals were stuck to the dishes, there were dozens of them on average the size of a penny to a quarter. These crystal structures were all circular and seemed to form in separate clumps.
I scraped these up and placed them on a glass plate to dry. In the meantime after 48 hours I checked on the glass bowl in the freezer. Upon pulling out the bowl I noticed an immediate fuzzy film all over the sides of the bowl where the non-polar solution was present. It looked exactly like yellow pollen with thousands of tiny yellow balls clinging to the sides of the glass dish. The remaining liquid was poured out and this material was collected using a razor blade. This soupy bright yellow material was then placed on a glass dish and allowed to dry. The remaining liquid was placed back into the glass dishes and allowed to evaporate outside under much faster circumstances.
What I ended up with were three separate grades of DMT. The white crystalline “bumps” as I call them seemed to be very pure DMT. I didn’t need a microscope to see the complex arrangements within the material I collected. It turned out to be several grams which filled ¾ of a baggy which most buttons used for clothing accessories are sold within. My theory is the slow evaporation coupled with the numerous freezing nights seemed to concentrate the chemical slowly over time. It gradually precipitated out of the solution and yielded the most pure product.
The second extract was the yellow powder which was precipitated out of the freezer technique. It was much more consistent in its distribution over the glass bowl. Instead of seeing bumps of DMT I saw a thin 1/8th inch layer of yellow “pollen” type substance coat the entire bowl. This material I should mention was partially extracted with Xylene. This is supposed to extract Yuremamine or “jungle DMT.” This material was separated in the initial extraction phase to see if this chemical would truly be extracted. I also used Mineral Spirits with a couple of the 'pulls.' I saw no reddish or other bizarre colorations with the extract which I’ve read have been reported. I do believe there is some other alkaloid, possibly with MAOI characteristics which makes the Xylene extract more intense. This yellow substance proved to be a more powerful experience then the pure crystalline “bumps” I had discovered from the initial solution.
The evaporated waxy brown-orange material from the third final extract seems to be residual alkaloids which contain some leftover DMT. I’ve found it way to hard to smoke and have therefore saved it in the freezer as a possible future Ayahuasca analogue.
The first dose of DMT I administered was the initial crystalline white substance which I gave to a co-worker. Upon initial feedback he had stated it was “very clean and visual” but would not comment further. This irritated me because I had basically used him as a guinea pig and these were the only words he could provide on the experience. I’ve noticed after repeatedly smoking DMT that memory is quite fleeting and absent. It seems as though the brain cannot or does not want to process high doses of this compound. The mind seems to shut down in an attempt to possibly retain any tangible essence of accessable reality. I think the experience itself might be so profound the brain shuts itself off in order to cope with the effects which are too intense for the normal state of consciousness to bear. It could well be a psychological barrier which the mind upholds in order to tolerate a rapidly disintegrating state of both the ego and the body.
I vaguely remember my first experience with the first crystalline white DMT I had smoked. I remember up-taking the compound in around 3 large tokes out of a glass pipe. I would estimate I smoked around 60 milligrams or so of the substance. I held the lighter about 1 inch from the pipe and let it sit for 10 seconds or so. I then inhaled the vapor and repeated this practice three times without ever exhaling. I had held the vapor for around 40 seconds over the course of the three hits. I could feel the effects after roughly 20 seconds.
By the exhalation of the third hit I was experiencing an incredible glowing vibration which overwhelmed my entire body. It had no reference point and I felt as though my entire body was an integrated force. The force was emanating from the center of my brain. I could simultaneously experience every cell within my body which seemed to originate within the top of my mind. Typing this now completely sober I can feel the pulse of the experience emanating from my brain. Residual memory is my best guess. The imprint of the experience seems to alter the ability to remember it. The only way I can remember the experience is to recount some of it’s most mild and subdued effects. I think of past life regression of the consciousness. In order to articulate such a bizarre experience into words my brain must restore itself to that point of origin. Even then words are completely inadequate.
This is what I feel distinguishes DMT from other psychedelics of which I have consumed hundreds if not thousands of times. When I recall a memory of an acid trip, psilocybin trip, or mescaline trip, they all feel subjective and alienated from my mind. They are nothing more then remnant thoughts, proud, but distant from my current conscious state of mind. They are like the alleyway of a distant exuberant and fascinating exploration into an inner-city complex to which I don‘t occupy. My mind recounts the memory and experience but keeps it disconnected because it is not integrated into my everyday existence. These psychedelics are but a lone and narrow road which my psyche may pursue every once and awhile on whim.
DMT is a far different beast. It is right there in my thoughts, my dreams, my reality. I feel it every second I’m alive as I’m typing this, coursing through my veins. It is of me and part of me. I sense it has and always will be within me till the day I die and beyond. I only get this experience with other tryptamines or phenethylamines when I consume them. They feel like a temporary portal into the astral realms of my subconscious. Whenever I think about DMT or even envision it’s effects on my mind I enter a sort of binding resonance with reality. Typing this and thinking of this substance I feel as though it is effecting me now and always has been. It is part of the complex chemical soup of my own pineal gland. When I listen to my body it tells me what the mind is too hypersensitive to understand emotionally, unless it cuts itself off from primal sensation.
The pineal gland is the manufacturing center for DMT. It occupies the most valuable real-estate inside the brain around its center. My question, why did we evolve to protect this gland and hold it in the most sacred place within the brain? It occupies the most substantial Chakra point or ‘Crown Chakra.” It is right above the cerebral pineal fluid sack which surrounds the human brain. This suggests it is in direct proximity to upload information of possible visual and psychic nature into this organ. The ancient Sumerians were aware of this gland, along with the french philosopher descrates, and the Egyptians. Many of the ancient's inscriptions and cuneiforms show what looks like a pinecone adorning scepters and other religious and sacred objects. They understood the 'pinecone' pineal gland was the vessel into incredible spiritual revelations and knowledge.
Reality is nothing more then concentrated energy condensed down to a specific 3rd dimensional vibration at an extremely slow rate. When I focus hard enough I feel this vibration, it is most prominent when under altered states of consciousness. Under this mild focused awareness I feel what my body truly is and always was. Surprisingly, it feels like a weak DMT trip within a competent and coherent state of mind. A constant vibrational glow within my physical body at probably slightly above my heart rate. This beat probably corresponds with the Shumman frequency. My body beats at the same resonance as the Earths. I feel this when I’m having deep thoughts about my experiences with DMT under extreme meditation. When I imagine its presence over my psyche then I begin to feel the greater sense that I am just a beat or pulse within a greater planetary organism. The feeling is so completely organic and fluid, I almost have panic attacks at times. As though my heart is beating rhythmically with a force out of my control.
This pales in comparison to the yellow powdered freezer precipitated DMT I smoked. That experience was much more profound and terrifying. The irony being the terror tantalized me, making me titillated and disturbed. The substantial thing is, I remember every single aspect in specific detail. It is more vivid then my most vivid memories of my entire 27 years of life on this planet. My first sexual encounter, my childhood trauma of being lost in Disneyland Anaheim, CA for 12 hours (terrorized by costumed Mickey Mouse and Goofy), and even my first experience waking up from a 2 day coma of GHB overdose which I recovered from after my vitals flat lined. The experience I had is the most vivid memory I have ever had in my entire life. It is more real then this reality. So pristine in all aspects, I know it was real. Not of this dimension, within that plane, but of another higher 4th dimensional place.
This place was so vivid I know without a doubt it could not have been a hallucination or vision unless the very nature of the reality I have spent my entire life is a perpetual hallucination or vision. This current and physical reality feels more synthetic then the chemically intertwined oneness DMT took me into within 5 minutes. In that span of time I entered a plane of space which was so foreign and alien to my existence, it destroyed my faith in the very material existence of this reality. It also had detrimental consequences on my belief in death and birth, which at that time simultaneously occurred in the same space.
This showed me there is no birth and no death. It is the illusion of this subjective perception of the whole consciousness creating a new memory for itself. Think about any memory you’ve ever had, it starts and it ends very abruptly after only a mater of seconds. This is the microcosm of a fleeting experience juxtaposed onto the greater movie which is the story of your life. All we see is the movie in action, we're never aware of what happens before or afterward in this realm. We don’t anticipate the planning, the script being written, the actors being cast. We don’t foreshadow the credits role because we simply turn off the TV prior. We don’t ask why the set is disassembled, the costumes auctioned off, the copyrights challenged in court. We only see the parts that we want to see! These parts are recorded in a montage fashion over the span and course of our waking reality.
That description is the difference between this reality and the reality of DMT. It shows me the past, present, and future simultaneously in one conscious state. This is about the simplest way I can articulate what I think this compound does and is capable of on the mind. Transporting consciousness to a state of “omnipresence” which our primal brain is simply too preoccupied with the present to assimilate.
I don’t want to provide the impression that I’m enlightened or endowed with esoteric knowledge the general populace is lacking, because I’m not. I’m a polysubstance abuser, an alcoholic, suffer from ADHD, and chronic depression. I am far from enlightened. And that is the magic of DMT. I don’t have to be endowed with talents beyond the normal scope of humanity. I don’t need to have mastered Ayuradic or Vedic forms of meditation. I care little for puloty or Yoga. I tried them but I simply found I love to endure pain.
I have always been attracted to bodybuilding. A great Euphemism for life. I destroy my body only to build it up stronger then it was before. I love pain because I feel that through this venue only there can I grow. The Roman Empire’s Debouched hedonism has shown the excesses of pleasure leads to spiritual downfall. DMT is a painful experience in very high doses. It, or any other psychedelics, are not meant for most of the population as Huxley warned. Leary made the mistake of hoping the greater populace would see some relevance to these substances without understanding humanity has an innate and outright detesting of the unknown.
DMT is the ultimate unknown and perhaps understandably the most cautious psychedelic which one should approach. In many respects I am glad this substance is scheduled because I do not feel most of humanity is ready to allow their brain to accept an experience so outside of their immediate surroundings. The majority of humanity is simply not ready for this experience. This is why I feel it must be left in the hands of the brave and adventurous beings who are willing to risk their own sanity in order to explore the ultimate unknown, the human brain.
I prefer Huxley’s mentality in that Psychedelics should be reserved for a select few, but who decides that curriculum, standard, and access? I believe these few discover this on their own because something has always driven them to this information. They have always known these entheogens were meant to lead them to something beyond themselves. This is precisely why I am here typing this information for you to read. The curiosity which has brought you to this information is a testiment to your willingness to attempt to understand these alternate realities.
The other route is Leary who’s blatant publication of this alternative 'psychatropic medication' helped inhibit psychiatric research of entheogens back by decades. Advocating mass use of such powerful tools is incredibly foolish and I find premature coming from an M.D. who was caught up in the wave of popularity he had received from his association with these compounds.
His Ego destroyed psychedelics in mainstream research, this is why they are chemically designed to destroy the Ego. To prevent mass human awareness of their eye opening properties. From personal observation, most of us are not physiologically hardwired or capable to cope with the changes these substances induce.
I theorize these plant alkaloid compositions are a deterrent to animals developing higher organized states. In these states these animals possessed greater potential to destroy the plant in question. Keep the animal disoriented and confused and it will not desire to pass this information to it’s siblings. Alkaloids are a defense mechanism simultaneously terrifying and expanding reality. To most animals, this would be perceived as a toxin within the brain, with no benefit to their immediate survival. Hence the plant is saved from being eaten and preserves itself in order to reproduce. Why then do human’s consciously consume the toxic plants other animals disregard?
The more one advocates and ordains these chemical godheads the more it fuels the ego. This is most prevelant in western society, where such chemicals give the distributor a sense of superiority by having access to a divine substance which only a few are granted. This is the trick organized religion has used for thousands of years. It's controllers profess to contain a knowledge and wisdom from an external source (usually god) which gives these priests, bishops, and shamans spiritual control over the population.
Yes, primitive Shamans are just a prototype of Bishops, Priests, and disciples which Western society adopted without the heavy cultural indoctrination of psychedelic compounds. Shamans along with priests and religious leaders fall into the trap of ego. This is why I feel these plants place a premium on debilitating that aspect of the human mind. The ego is what influences these teachers to withhold the knowledge and horde it for themselves. They pass it down selectively to only a few who they feel worthy enough to possess it. This is the ego in motion. These elitists are revered and worshiped for this wisdom and held in elevated status. They use these substances to wow their populations. If one wishes to understand this very simply then ask the question “Who Benefits?“
When one asks this question he/she will see very clearly who has profited from the circumstances I have described. Priests are the ’updated-Shamans’ of the modern world. They are there to impress their followers with the possibility of access to greater truth and knowledge. In return they receive money, adoration, and power. As long as they tightly hold onto this knowledge they have no fear in it reaching the masses. This is the detriment the ego has caused on our culture and it’s access to higher spiritual truths.
These ’spiritual keepers’ hold the highest status and prestige of the group they occupy, containing knowledge and insight denied to the general populace. This is say akin to the highest degrees of the freemasons who have restrained the knowledge of ancient levitation, occult ritual magic, and esoteric wisdom. This wisdom held desperately because the few in power use the many followers ignorance to glorify and exonerate their status at the expense of their 'Sheeps” lack of hindsight. The wolf is always herding his flock inevitablly into slaughter.
What I find interesting about DMT is it’s ability to completely shatter my sense of ego and any feelings of superiority be it intellectual or physical I may think I possess. No other entheogen has done this and “told me” in ways I don’t understand that I am not what I think I am or ever was. Other chemicals may take me into another dimension of reality but never take me to “another” reality. This is exactly what is happening to my psyche while on DMT vs. other entheogens. They take my ego to another plane where to the outsider it seems limited but is merely bypassed. DMT takes my ego to another place so foreign and alien in nature it ceases to exist in this dimension altogether. Such a shattering event occurs over the course of less then five minutes before I’m back within the place from which I left.
For reference purposes I’ll describe the only other substances which has created ego death to such a drastic degree as DMT. It is Salvia Divinorum or “Diviner’s Sage.” Personally I disregard Salvia and have never found any spiritual or transcendent tangible benefit from the several times I’ve smoked it. It feels alien, similar to DMT, but not integrated into my being. It has the same sterility and muteness feeling I get from DMT. But it lacks a sense of the only word I can describe as “soul.”
Whereas DMT feels cosmic and infinite, Salvia feels personal, internal, and entrapping to my consciousnesses point of reference. The intensity and duration of DMT and Salvia are both startlingly similar. Both begin within 20-30 seconds and effects end completely within 15 minutes. Both are profound and easily the two most intense experiences I’ve ever had in my life. They seem to replicate the same alien plane of existence, however, the effects are drastically different from one another.
At 1 minute into both experiences I loose complete control over my body, time has no meaning or ever did. I could be dead or living and it wouldn’t mater because those states of being hold no real effect over the conscious state which my mind is occupying. I believe it is this point my consciousness has left 3rd dimensional dense space and accessed a lighter 4th dimensional realm. Here anything goes, and nothing in the context of this 3rd dimensional space holds any relevance. It’s gone, there is no physical body as there is no need for one. Consciousness doesn’t seem to need a body. In this state the body was merely a vessel to experience the consciousness which was always pervasive in all things.
This is right where the similarities completely end. DMT connects me with an all encompassing force which is present in all mater within the universe. I am one with the infinite, the cosmic consciousness of a dozen different dimensions which all exist simultaneously. The salvia experience is most similar to a blackout of my consciousness. I go deep within my most primordial state. My mind is not able to articulate any point of reference to this reality yet all of my motor skills are fully intact. I know this happens to most people that smoke Salvia because I’ve watched hundreds of videos of kids trying it on youtube. About 30 seconds in I can see the point where these people stop laughing and hit that alternate reality. In this state they cannot express it, but they are usually terrified, confused, and gripped with emotion which the body cannot and doesn’t externally demonstrate to the observer. I believe much of this has to due with setting, as Salvia is often a first and only time occurrence due to the experience it generates.
What I find unsettling about Salvia is it seems to take any remnant of whatever consciousness I can make reference of and “unzip” it. My mind is torn in two separate places as the drug takes it in one direction but my mind wants to go in the other. It’s an utter contradiction of planes of my psyche. I call it the “zipper effect.” I am unzipped and splitting apart, being pulled instantly in two separate directions without any control. I wouldn’t mind this state of being if I felt as though I somehow benefited from it or utilized it. Maybe it is just me, but I can never seem to feel as though this introspective substance is connecting me to anything meaningful or psychologically usable.
I believe Salvia and DMT are accessing the same dimensional space. The salvia taking me to an infinite introspective collapse of the ego and reality where I am self contained. The DMT taking me to infinite cosmic possibility where I am integrated into all matter and am all mater within the universe simultaneously. The micro and the Macro expressing themselves in different conscious states, yet always of the same source.
I think my primitive mammalian brain is more attracted to the DMT because of it’s constant role in human metabolism and biological function. The brain craves this substance which interestingly is one of the only to be up-taken so readily by the cerebral pineal fluid of the blood brain barrier. Much more easily then complex Carbohydrates or proteins which must be broken down into Glucose for the brain to utilize their properties.
Salvia is not an alkaloid and is not as easily recognizable by the human body. This is why I believe I have a dislike of the substance. My brain seems to utilize DMT because it knows through millions of years of evolution how to best incorporate it into my mind and body. The salvia is foreign and new, a novelty. Perhaps through the same evolutionary process it too will generate the “missing link” to the subconscious. I theorize the human brain isn’t yet fully integrated within the individuality of conscious thought it occupies to understand the extreme interpersonal plane Salvia invokes. We are social animals, bound and interconnected with other members of our species. We have never been alone, isolated, and ostracized to the point where one can evolve long enough to deprive itself of the collective heard.
It is impossible to understand conscious singularity, because as social primates, we will always depend on other animals of the same species in order to survive. This is why I feel salvia is inaccessible in the current human state. Were not quite ready to leave any and all reference or attachment to the collective consciousness which binds all of us together. We are essentially a Borg mind, 100th Monkey effect in full force and always have been to further the evolution of our species. Our planet is within it’s current state of disarray, chaos, and schizogenesis due to the collective state humanity has created. The DMT is the embodiment of collective consciousness. It destroys my ego so that I can see the destruction my ego has caused upon myself and others.
It is built in hardware within the human pineal gland, tissue, and blood. Designed for what I feel is to destroy ego and connect us in a state of being where we are not influenced by crude emotional states, cultural biases, and petty selfish gains. This is why I believe the drug is so sterile and neutral in nature. It doesn’t sugar coat things with an amphetamine high like the phethylamine mescaline. Nor does it dilute and denigrate the nervous system as does the debilitating effects of alcohol. In the end this stuff is a conduit into “God consciousness.” The irony being that state has always been here, always was here, always will be here. We are simply too preoccupied with our miniscule and trivial pursuits to acknowledge it. We are the ones we were waiting for!!!
I’m using Salvia as a reference material because it is far more prevalent and accessible in it’s current legal state then DMT. More readers then not have probably encountered Salvia but not DMT, therefore, I felt a description of it’s similarity to DMT may familiarize one with what they may possibly expect from DMT in terms of magnitude, duration, and intensity.
At this point I should discuss the breakthrough experience I had. I have no recollection of the day or time of this event. Those facts feel irrelevant to what I encountered during that brief 10 minute period. I wish I could accurately provide a date and time in order to sequentially document this event more accurately. For myself, the experience is so profound and overwhelming that it is impossible for me to collect my thoughts into a cohesive state shortly after the event had subsided. I need months to process the experience and gather innate data which the DMT is feeding my body. I can feel minimal amounts of DMT activating throughout my body at this moment. The memory of the intense experience lingers. It never leaves the back of my mind. It doesn’t feel proper to attempt to define the most profound experience of my life within hours of when it happened. From a scientific standpoint this is the most relevant approach to documenting the effects of DMT. From a physiological and psychological standpoint it’s very premature and the experience is shortchanged by the immediate effects vs. the longer standing repercussions.
I feel as though I am denying myself and others the full magnitude of the DMT experience by pigeon holing it down to a time and place. This feels irrelevant in the greater scheme of the chemical and its role within the human body. It is always with me and always will be with me. What I chronicle is merely a peak release of this compound which I have coordinated in order for it to direct me to a state of consciousness I need at that time and space.
I don’t smoke DMT on a whim, it tells my body and my brain when I “need” to smoke it. I don’t feel as though I control when, how, or why I need to smoke an incredibly powerful, disturbing, and outright shattering experience. In fact most of my very neutral DMT experiences are bordering on unpleasant. The realm I am taken to is so outside of the jurisdiction and imagination of my conscious brain it is down right terrifying yet complete nirvana at the same simultaneous moment. Such a foreign place is not dared treaded upon without a degree of psychological preparation. This is why Salvia is usually a “one hit wonder” for most people. They cannot fathom the place, assimilate it, and interpret it with their current conscious state without deep preparation and forewarning. Going from “here” to “there” in 20 seconds is too much for most people and they will instinctively resist rather then embrace and let themselves go into this experience.
So onto the trip or whatever one wants to call it. It was no trip, I hate that term yet it is so accessible and immediately identifiable I need to use it to create a reference point. It was a journey. A trip is short and ends abruptly in the schism of the relevance of time. A trip could be 1 hour or 20 hours. Every other psychedelic experience I’ve used is a “trip,” because of these traits. DMT is not a trip but a journey. It lasts less then any other entheogen I’ve ever encountered but takes me to a place through a cosmic forest of thoughts and ideas over the longest duration I can fathom. I go to a timeless place without any reference to any time or physical sensation. I don’t exist, I am merely consciousness expressing itself in the most primal state identifiable by the brain’s ability to detect it.
What I recall is the recollection of a meaningless night, time and place. It is to the best of my memory and ability the account of the DMT experience I had that night. The settings were familiar and felt completely reassuring within my surroundings. There was no sense of fear or hesitation within this “chemical being” for which I was about to envelope. I loaded around 60-80 milligrams of the yellowish DMT extract which was partially obtained using Xylene. I’ve heard this substance extracts a form of DMT which is very negative in nature. I don’t feel that sense. It has more to do with the situation, setting, and expectations then the actual chemical makeup which is simply a byproduct of the experience itself as a precursor which is only realized after the entire experience has occurred.
After the substance was loaded into the glass pipe, I took a blow torch and held it roughly two inches away from the glass pipe. I lit the flame then slowly let the spiraling smoke swirl around within the glass pipe. I used my index finger to close off the top chamber hole to allow the smoke to concentrate. After around 30 seconds I began to slowly inhale the substance into my lungs. During this entire time the lighter was continually burning and the substance was continually vaporizing into smoke. Within one long 30 second hit I managed to consume the entire amount of DMT. It was held in my lungs for another 30 seconds or so before I exhaled. Before I let the chemical out of my lungs I began to feel the effects. An immediate sense of disorientation clouded my conscious state. I was instantly inundated with thoughts of panic and anxiety. This feeling seemed to be a natural response to the profound changes which were rapidly organizing within my peripheral view.
Before I could think another thought my brain was blasted with intense clarity. Rich reds and warm spectrum colors exploded into my view. I saw all matter as nothing more then an atomic “reddish” field of wild vibration which was pulsing within everything that my eyes could absorb. Reality was a vibrating pulsation of “bead type atoms” almost like the static on a channel-less television screen. I saw everything for what it truly was. Everything in mater became nothing more then a pulsing vibrating collection of trillions of circles making up this reality. Reality became an illusion as though my body felt distanced from any reference to it. Reality was just a pulse within the cosmic vibration of the infinite cosmic consciousness. I was that cosmic consciousness and it began to dissolve my physical body and ego simultaneously. I felt the disillusion from my body was necessary to provide my consciousness with the capacity to enter hyper dimensional space.
I was beginning to loose the ability to control my arms and legs. They felt like silly putty as they squirmed around like an octopus recoiling while trying to reassure itself that it still possessed the instinctual ability to move. An immediate detachment of my body was stirring within my mind. It wanted to keep itself aligned with anything with which it could recognize, but it could not. I wanted to stay in the locality within my physical body. When I say “I” what I mean is the consciousness that expresses itself within my body. Leaving this “hive” consciousness which my brain had been so accustomed to, was frightening. At this point “I” was catapulted out of this reality and dimensional plane. There was a simultaneous blackout which probably lasted more then a split second in real time. It felt as though it had occurred over several minutes. The events above happened over what I would guess were 30 seconds to 1 minute.
Immediately “I” was now in a new hive mind which felt more real then anything I‘ve ever felt in this reality. My vocabulary and articulation are obviously severely lacking to accurately describe the next transpiring of events. I cannot verbalize it using any vocabulary known. No word can provide or define what I went through. I will say it was the most ‘REAL’ experience I’ve ever had in my entire 27 years of conscious thought. The reason being, none of it was verbal. Everything was visual, all communication visual, all thought visual. Everything was visual as it felt to be the most efficient and least misinterpreted means of experience and communication in this place.
I now know why millions of people have extraterrestrial abductions. I know for a fact many of these people are having these abductions. The thing is their body never leaves this reality in order to have those experiences. Their consciousness is being absorbed by extradimensional beings. I’m not talking Terence Mckenna style ‘jeweled elves’ bumping around squeamishly. The beings that I contacted were far more Earnest, sterile, and objective. To such a degree, they are the embodiment of science in it’s physical manifestation of laws, discourse, control, and theoretical ideology. I was a lab rat on a silver luminous table observed by these completely neutral beings. Basically I had been transported from my physical 3rd dimensional body and simultaneously placed into a bizarre 4th dimensional headspace.
I had no body in this realm. I was an etheric being lying down on a table. My body was translucent as if a form of penetrating light through the skin displaying every skeletal structure, blood vessel and cell within my body. This was all light, illuminating itself and manifesting into what my detached brain must have generated as a holographic human body. My brain was still there, it was simply connected to another place through the DMT molecule. This connection of an unidentifiable, alien state, is the source for such confusion which my brain could not clarify into anything remotely recognizable.
I specifically remember these 3 beings as though I was looking at them before this computer screen. It is as if they are a part of me, a part I don’t understand or can connect with because they occupy a place I cannot normally feel, see, or detect. I felt so trapped at this point. “How on earth are these beings here around me and everyone else and nobody has any sense of their presence?” What I’m guessing is these beings are operating on a different frequency then our own. We’ve got hundreds of radio stations penetrating the sky, but only hear one station at a time. DMT is like an antenna which attracts other dimensions and draws them to this one. Thus allowing the individual to access and “tune in” to these frequencies which were otherwise scrambled and not able to be processed by the brain.
These beings spoke to me telepathically. When I state telepathic I mean whatever they wanted me to know they “gave it to me.” It wasn’t like a beam or thought within the mind. I simply knew what they wanted me to know without seeing or thinking anything. It was an emotional state in which I could feel what they wanted to tell me. Through their instant transmission, I knew exactly what they wanted and required of me. It was so much more efficient and straightforward then verbal communication. Feeling evoked immediate internal communication and knowledge. I simultaneously knew what, who, and why they and I were there. They directed “thoughts through feelings” into my mind which I immediately recognized. This didn’t require any philosophical or intellectual decoding or interpretation. I simply knew exactly what they were thinking because they could somehow transfer their intentions through imagery which I couldn’t see but directly felt.
I remember exactly to the very finest detail what these beings looked like in physicality. The environment itself felt like something straight out of Ridley Scott’s ‘alien.’ There was a bizarre static type environment with predominate browns, blacks, and grays. It felt very organic with interconnecting insectoid coils and wormlike tubing networks lining the walls and background. It seemed to be a ship or interstellar vessel. I was in a circular room which was occupied by three beings which were standing in front of me. They were overlooking my etheric body which was laid upright onto a silver elongated slab. These entities were very skinny. Their body I recall vaguely because I was too preoccupied with their face. It was blackish is if they were all wearing a black jumpsuit or covering.
The face was the most disturbing aspect. All three had grey metallic faces. These were nothing like the Zeta-Reticluan Alien grays with large black almond eyes many people describe. Although I could see how the two entities could be mistaken by a person in such a frightened state. Their face was smooth, grey, and metallic. They had no eyes, ears, or mouth. The face was one complete solid vessel. I felt as though it was a mask of some type. It was as if they were using a certain costume and mask in which I could identify, while denying their true nature from my vision. Their metallic mask had subtle features imprinted within it. There were what appeared residual elements of a stubby nose, the inlay of what was once eyes, and small slits which resembled babies lips. I felt as though these beings had evolved so drastically they no longer had need for the five senses. They no longer needed eyes, ears, lips, etc to express themselves. They were expression personified in my own thought of what I visualized they were physically.
Everything they did or said was by vibration and emotion in the only way I could seem to understand it. They were the grays as many people have described. But they were not aliens, and they were not insectoid. These elements were simply infused into the environment which gave the impression that these beings possessed those traits. These beings “were me” in a different space and a different dimension. The alien nature of the circumstances initially prevented me from realizing this. I felt as though I was from one radio station and they from another. The DMT, therefore, must be the antenna connecting different aspects of the same consciousness. These stations can communicate by crossing paths and sharing data from different dimensional frequencies. This may sound delusional, but this reality we live within is the true delusion.
The matrix is real, but our bodies are being used as a vessel to experience 3rd dimensional space. This 3rd dimensional information is then ’uploaded’ by other dimensional beings who cannot experience this one. I only know this because the DMT told me and quite blatantly showed me how this process works. Before my trips with DMT, I would have thought this information was coming from a psychotic schizophrenic. I now know better. I remember what they had constantly expressed almost a dozen times over the course of the “consolidation” process. I say consolidation because these beings “WERE ME” in another dimension. They cared not for how I got there or why I was there. They simply knew I was coming and anticipated my arrival. It is as if they were a more advanced part of myself which I was completely ignorant of knowing.
I was them and they were me. I was like the reptilian brain that they were studying from the distant recesses of there own. They were like the more evolved Neo-Cortex attempting to understand the lizard brain. I believe this alternative realm feels very reptilian and insectoid in nature. It feels this way because we are accessing a dimension which displays the information these beings wish to “take” from us. They appear this way, look this way, and behave in this way. They need to acquire this reptilian form, in order to access the information they take from our psyche. They are visible as a mirror reflection of what they are seeking. Just as I am accessing a mirror reflection of the higher dimensional state which I am seeking.
This knowledge Transphere feels like the way in which they can “de-evolve” to become like me and I can “evolve” to become like them. It is as if 'They' and 'I' are both assimilating and experiencing a distant past and future of ourselves, simultaneously, in order to better integrate the two. “They” and “I” both wanted to have a mutual exchange. I felt as though the trauma I experienced was far less severe then what they had. I believe this is why so many people have negative extraterrestrial experiences. They feel as though these beings are taking “something” from them and not returning it. I believe this is true to an extent. When I was sitting in that chair these beings “downloaded me.”
The matrix is completely real, only much more etheric and less mechanized then Hollywood would have you believe. These three beings downloaded me, took my consciousness, and Xeroxed it, storing it into an essence with which I felt they could somehow benefit from this information in the future. They copied my life memories, experiences, and dreams. Then stored this information in order to 'get high' from it and experience it much like I utilize DMT to get high. It is so bizarre yet true. My memories are a portal gateway from which DMT transmits them to these beings. They then utilize these fragments into knowledge in order to get high by assimilating the information the DMT is feeding them. This is the same process occuring within me as their knowledge infuses itself into me. Getting me high with the same data transmitted in a different dimension and state. To put it quite blatently it is a spiritual mind orgy of energy.
The perceived negativity I felt, lies within the fact, that I knew they took more from me then they gave to me. When I was downloaded I squirmed in my chair. I could feel an invisible force penetrate my body and my mind. This force “pulled” my essence into a place which appeared “higher” and less “dense” then my own. They beamed me, probed me, and copied me, and yet I never left the chair. These events all occured from an invisible force. There was no 'beam me up scotty' computer generated particles. It was all simultaneous without any visual sense of it's presence. This experience was rapid because it was happening on the tail end of the peak of the experience.
These beings knew they did not have much time and I felt an urgency within their discourse. At the point I was squirming, I felt my body again. The peak was weaning after the 5 minute mark. I then rapidly descended back into my body as my consciousness began to “fill out” the various portions of it. I first felt my brain and it’s awareness of the current surroundings. This awareness then spread down into the center of my body and proceeded toward my arms then legs. I rapidly felt a decent back into current consciousness. There was no tunnel or white light or anything of that nature. I was just simultaneously brought back to this dimensional state in the same simultaneous manner I had left it.
Intense distortions of space and time were present. No true hallucinations after this point were experienced. In fact, the only true hallucinations I’ve ever had are under the effects of DMT. I’ve heard Atropine or Datura based alkaloids can cause this, but this seems most accurately a ‘delirium state’ and not a true ‘alternate dimensional plane.’ After about five to ten minutes of experiencing what I would describe as a peak 1,000 microgram acid type 100 milligram psilocybin combo trip, I was back to complete baseline.
I could describe the effects outside of the peak but they feel like any other tryptamine based hallucinogen in high doses. My interest is in the extra-dimensional states with which the consciousness seems to direct itself. If I were to look at myself from the DMT hyperdimensioanal state I would be very disturbed. The trauma of entering the DMT plane is far less excruciating then leaving it. This is probably why many people who experience a sublime heaven-like near death state don’t want to come back. Because after experiencing the most brilliant aspects of DMT hyperspace this 3rd dimensional reality seems very primitive, traumatizing, and incredibly unnerving, given the atrocities the psyche knows exist within it.
I feel like DMT is the reason I have sought out alternate dimensions. I find this current reality to be a very schizophrenic reality. In this place everything is chaotic, wrong, and wicked. Where the most corrupt and narcissistic individuals make the most money, rule the most territory, and control the greatest Spiritual knowledge. Where religious and shamanic priests herd their subjects in perpetually mundane and ’spiritually-fetal’ existence. Where finance governs the social interest of the masses while disregarding ethical integrity in the name of personal profiteering.
I hate this place because I know that once I’m coming down from DMT I’m back within my own selfish, corrupt, and decadent actions. The DMT shows me my deficiencies in a blatantly neutral and simple fashion. Much like its incredibly simple chemical compilation within the human mind. It tells me that I am part of what has created the very fabric of reality within which I occupy. Instinctually I know this, but the DMT shows me this through providing me with nirvana and then letting me materialize back into 'this awefull place.'
When I’m back here I become part of the collective consciousness that is the human race. I look at the very state of this reality I have helped generate. The very place I occupy I have collectively created with my fellow humans. And for this, I am deeply disappointed with myself and others. We have so much potential which has been circumvented by selfish interest. Humanity simply doesn't care about spirituality anymore. It doesn't want to have these experiences. It only wants what instantly impacts it for it's own physical gain. What this shows me is a warning to the Homo Sapien species. This entity must learn to re-connect itself with the organic or it is doomed to self-destruction through artificially integrated expression. This artificial expression is the next step in evolution physically. What we will loose in the process is the very nature of our organic 'soul.' It will be lost among implants, cybernetic grafts, and RFID integration. This will all happen because of the ego and it's persistance to revel in it's own brilliance.
My ultimate theory is that DMT is a “transport molecule” which periodically impacts a few individuals experiencing it’s profound revelations. Through it I see who and what I really am. It gives me all the means by which to understand my higher spiritual self. It is integral to my being, because it governs the very nature of my brain’s impulses on a minute’ vibration. Humanity must realize the reality it occupies is nothing more then a conglomeration of individual consciousness expressing itself on a subjective basis. This is the beauty of DMT. What it has told me is that we are all one. It displays itself in plants, animals, and fungi to demonstrate it is all pervasive and all encompassing. This substance is the binding force which links all elements of this reality together. It shows me I am not the ultimate egocentric being I think I am. I am just a piece of a greater cosmic brain. I am a thought within the singularity that is God. DMT is my ethereal connection to God through a simplistic chemical transportation outlet.
To summarize, DMT is a portal into God consciousness. An ‘etheric highway grid’ were conscious thought, ideas, and wisdom freely traverses in order to better evolve the all pervasive essence which is everything. This is the most simplistic and accurate depiction I have ever conceived when trying to attempt to understand who, what, and where I am.
This experience was so profound I remember it cosmos-second by cosmos-second like the instant I was born. The next closest memory I have is my first sexual encounter at 17 years old, which is fuzzy and only contains minute by minute bits and pieces. That is the effect this experience had on me.
I just started reading Rick Strauss man’s “DMT: The Spirit Molecule.” It is profound that western science is starting to discover what I feel DMT has been telling me and guiding me toward since conception all along. This shows how the Patrilineal religions, which have destroyed and dominated western beliefs and conscious expansion, are beginning to disintegrate. I have to disagree with Rich Straussman in regards to referencing DMT as a Spirit Molecule. From my experience it is not a spirit molecule. DMT is the “Transport Molecule.” The spirit is and always was there because it is all things in all dimensions simultaneously. DMT allows the subjective elements of spirit to enter physical form at roughly 49 days after conception. You and I are those subjective elements of the ‘omnipresence’ which is all things. We come here to experience. At the moment of death DMT allows for our part of spirit to leave this dimension and reintegrate with the collective whole. All of the memory, thoughts, and life we lived are brought with the spirit as it adds to the ‘God Consciousness.’ This is evolution. Not on a physical scale, but on an etheric spiritual scale.
This report is a tribute to what my most startling DMT trip created within my mind. It shook me so hard and swayed me so much, I know that DMT is “the doorway to God.” I theorize this is why so much of organized religion believes God is with us, around us, envelopes us, and will always be. This is DMT, a portal or bridge way from God to God, “they” to “you” and “I.” We are all the subjective thoughts of the God singularity which pervades all matter, DMT has shown me this. Its simply God hasn’t quite figured out how to integrate its subjective thoughts in order to link all of the various dimensions it occupies. DMT is a tool to help connect these places. This makes it what I refer to as a “transport molecule.” Found within us, outside of us, and beyond us.
I now know this reality is but a dream of the divine being from which my thoughts are registering in physical space. All of this is a complete and utter illusion. We collectively create this illusion and we create the very reality of the illusion within which we live. If I were to summarize everything I explained in this report it would come down to this one sentence…………..
YOU ARE THE ONE YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!!
You are everything that is and always will make possible.
COPYRIGHTS: All reports are copyright Erowid and you agree not to download or analyze the report data without contacting Erowid Center for permission first.
Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.