Citation: anonymous. "A Terrible Trip and a Trip to the Hospital: An Experience with DXM (exp76158)". Erowid.org. Feb 1, 2011. erowid.org/exp/76158
It was monday night, I had finals for school the next day and I was slightly stressed, not a good time to trip but I wanted some action and I was grounded because I was caught with marijuana and I was being drug tested regularly by my parents so the only drugs I could do were the strange ones like DXM, mushrooms, LSD, and others that aren't included in home drug tests. I had previousely taken 600 mg twice and had a fine experience no bad health affects only euphoria and disociation and a journey of the mind that resembled experiences I had on LSD. but little did I know this time would be entirely different.
I do not know what for sure caused the adverse reaction I had to robo that night it could have been because the night before I took 600 mg of diphenhydramine (benadryl) which I later found out can be just as dangerous to the body as dxm. this was horrifying and enchanting to say the least, dreaming while awake a lucid state and hallucinations of clams on the walls, bugs on the floor, and my dog being dead with blood everywhere were just a few of the things I saw on that drug. Or my reaction could have been attributed to the fact that this time rather then ingesting all the robo caps at once within 10 minutes I spread out the ingestion over the course of an hour and a half, feeling the effects grow stronger little by little. Regardless I was in for a fast pace slay ride to hell, visions of heaven and a trip to the emergency room. At first, before I reached the 3rd plateau I was fully immersed in the pleasant euphoric dextroverse with music in and a full body high I was able to see beautiful indescribable color visuals of geometric shapes and dots on the walls but I was afraid my music was up too loud and my parents would wake up since it was 1 am so I took out the music and tried to just focus on the sense of vision and looking forward to the dissociation I was seeking by taking the drug.
But as the minutes slowly ticked by I was overcome with an extreme sense of fear and anxiety which was very similar to the feelings of a bad LSD trip from here little time passes as I became increasingly aware of perception distortions I had not felt so extreme on dxm before. The sound of a fan in a small refrigerator in my room began to sound very clearly like voices singing a song a song about robo and how it was the only drug I needed no more marijuana or acid or shrooms or anything else could be able to match the extreme power of the dextroverse. I talked back to the voice agreeing praising the amazing power of this over the counter psychoactive. But the voices began to be to strange and then began to be scary they sounded like church songs, then I began to have striking open eye visuals and clear visions in my head about my family members who were all asleep since it was now around 2:30 am. A hateful vengeful voice narrated the story of their role in my life to me and I remember talking out loud saying I hated them for grounding me and stepping into my life and ending the good times I had had with marijuana. The voice was then beginning to sound satanic and evil which scared me to a new level.
I had been getting up and urinating frequently over the past 3 hours and I had to go now. But this time I was in full dissociation and delirium I was confused about where I was, familiar objects of my home were completely unfamiliar and I now had no idea who I was, what I was, what I looked like, where I was, what my arms and legs were, and what the world was. As I hobbled down the hall way in a full robo walk I knew that this was more extreme than any experience I had ever had with robitussin and when I got to the toilet the worst thing happened that as doctors in the hospital told me the next day, can happen to anyone at any dose of robitussin or DXM and this is the important reason I wrote this experience. I stood in front of the toilet not even knowing what my own dick was and I could not urinate as hard as I tried, my legs trembled my bladder felt as though it could burst but I could not pee because I had full urinary retention which I had not seen listed it is only one of the many adverse side effects that any dose of robitussin above the maximum dose on the bottle can cause to any one. It was an adverse reaction a one in a thousand, possibly one in a million fluke.
I could not pee. I went back to my room now in a full scale panic attack and psychotic break to where my own voice sounded different to me and I literally was unfamiliar with my own bedroom and who or what I was and what my arms and legs were. I tried peeing into a bottle but could not after repeated attempts I decided that if I just laid back and fell asleep I would probably have some crazy dreams but wake up normal and able to pee. So I fell asleep into a very strange vivid dream like no dream I had ever dreamt before, this is where you could say I had a religious experience, since in the past week whether or not marijuana and drugs were immoral was a huge topic of argument between me and my parents this topic of morality of drugs was very present in all reaches of my mind. Though I do not believe in God I think I saw a rendering of him in this dream. I saw a tunnel with clouds and an extreme bright light too real and too vivid for a dream of my mind and heard a deep powerful great voice that was the sound of a thousand voices both man and woman mixed together, this was for sure the plateau, the most intense point of the trip with out a doubt.
The voice told me that drugs were bad and it seemed like all the events of my short less than 6 month history of drug use all played out as it spoke, though I was to far gone to even know what robitussin was or remember taking it, or know what marijuana was anymore, or what a blotter tab was or a mushroom looked like I was seeing visions in my head of all the kids I used to smoke with, my pipe I used regularly, my school and the people in it, and all the drugs I had ever done, pills, and plants, salvia extract and morning glory seeds, and oxycodon pills and Watson 349 pills, desoxyns and aderols, robo caps and benedryl capsules, blotter tabs and microdots, mushrooms and psilocybin capsules, and of course the beautiful buds with there sweet red hairs. It was as if every drug I had ever done was tangibly visible infront of me though I was too far gone to recognize what any of them were they were clearly visible in my dream and subjectively I could clearly view them, this was followed by a vision of Mr. Mackey from South Park saying “Drugs are bad Mmmkay” and half awake open eye visuals on the wall of all the events that played out in my past days but playing out horrifyingly obscene and strange and unreal, like I was watching an unreal alternate reality version of my life that was a few days behind my real life.
I guess that would be the best way to describe the feeling I felt the rest of the night completely unreal, a nonexistent entity. I awoke in a full terror, in full ego death, and no longer knowing what the external world was. My game piece in the game of reality had been fully removed from the playing board and I was in a psychosis more intense than taking 3 hits of liquid microdot, not to mention my bladder was in pain and I had no idea what my body was. Slight memories of earlier visions from the trip returned, visions of my family. It felt like this trip was my entire life and it was all I had ever experienced I knew I had to run into my parents room, though some time had passed as I was dreaming and it was now 4 am. I officially felt fully insane not even remembering I had taken a drug but rather feeling as though I had always been this way, I also began to feel like I was dying. I kept getting an overlaying open eye visual of a white light at the end of a long tunnel. I woke up my mom and dad, they thought I was having a night terror or I was sleep walking until they shined a light in my eye and saw my pupil covered the whole plain of my iris and my eyes were nothing but wide black surrounded by white.
Then they knew that some drug was responsible for this as I panicked and talked to them screaming “I can’t pee, I can’t pee, I’m gonna die!” I felt as though I was leaving the earth, I had a hallucination of a flat lining heart monitor. My parents voices sounded distant, digital, robotic. I felt robotic like my brain was fully running and programmed off of DXM and for some reason to me, my voice sounded like a black person’s voice. After repeated attempts to pee and repeated freakouts at the way my parents looked, the hallucinations I was having and the terror of the trip I was rushed, by my mom to the hospital. I was put in the E.R. and over the next 3 hours the trip tapered off. I was catheterized and I was confirmed to have full urinary retention and dysfunction of the urinary system. I had 100ccs of water pumping into my blood to detox me of the dxm and everyone at the hospital was nice but in my trip as I had a catheter tube shoved up my pee hole and an IV put in my arm I felt like I was being tortured and I had died, and I was in hell.
After a day and a half of detox I was discharged but I was told that urinary retention, kidney failure, liver dysfunction, and cardiac arrest had been caused by robitussin and dxm at all doses ranging from threshold recreational doses to 1000s of mg doses had occurred in this hospital, often. Which leaves me with the conclusion, if you want to trip at least do a drug designed for that purpose that is non toxic like LSD or mushrooms. And if you want dissociation do a drug designed for that purpose like PCP or ketamine. But don’t do dxm because you never know when you will have an adverse reaction to it. And if you do have one and there’s no one around to help or no hospital around you could die. And no drug or experience in life, no matter how great, insightful, or virtuous is worth that risk.
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