Citation: jackinthebox. "Murderous Compulsions: An Experience with Fluoxetine (exp73346)". Erowid.org. Jan 13, 2018. erowid.org/exp/73346
Eleven months ago (September) I went to a psychiatrist and was diagnosed as having a severe anxiety disorder. The psychiatrist prescribed me 25mg of prozac daily and sent me on my way. Over the next few months I had very little contact with him, approx. 15 mins every 3 weeks or so and recieved no real counseling. I was working in a customer service job which I found extremely stressful and I became more and more anxious as the months went on. I started spiralling into severe depression and was filled with this total apathy about life. By November I couldn't take my job anymore and I quit and went to live with my family. My dosage was increased to 50mg and then a week later up to 100. The next few weeks are a blur of sleeplessness and depression. I started hearing voices and hallucinating, while having very strong thoughts about suicide and killing my family. On new years eve I found myself outside my mum's room with a knife, and freaked, called the police and was taken to the hospital.
I saw a psychiatrist there and was told that my thoughts were due to repressed emotion and that I was in no real danger, and sent back home. A few days later I moved out to a friend's house. Each day was a battle with myself not to attack him and I was having vivid dreams of slitting his throat so I decided to run away. I went to the city and smoked alot of pot. I was hoping to get some stronger drugs and kill myself with them but I ran out of money. I went to stay with my auntie and was there for a few days but my insanity was relentless and all I knew was that I had to get away from everyone. I stole my aunt's car and went randomly driving, trying on a number of occasions to kill myself without success. I stopped taking the prozac and eventually wound up on the side of the road with no fuel and no money. I was contacted by my family and was taken back home. Luckily the effects soon wore off though I still have less intense homicidal and suicidal thoughts pretty much constantly.
Thanks to prozac and the way that psychological drugs are just handed out like candy by the medical profession I have a criminal record and have been alienated by my family. The moral of the story: I think prescription drugs are DANGEROUS. If I had been warned I would have recognised the symptoms and would not have gotten to the point of almost murdering my family. If I do a quick search of the internet I can find literally hundreds of stories like mine of people who take anti-depressants (especially prozac) and harm themselves or others. Don't just assume that doctors are totally responsible or have your best interests at heart, research for yourself and find out exactly what it is you are taking and hopefully you wont end up like me.
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