Citation: Docus. "A Waking Dream: An Experience with Ether (exp72404)". Erowid.org. Jan 12, 2010. erowid.org/exp/72404
Before this ether experience, I had been sober for about 2 months prior, not counting the one time I took about 2 knockout doses of tetrazepam (separately throughout the night) in order to help me sleep before a major exam. I try to keep a period of sobriety of at least 30 days in between drug experiences, due to HPPD (a mild visual disorder that becomes irritating when I take drugs too often or too much at a time). Keeping drug experiences down to a dozen or so times a year also makes them more enjoyable and memorable in my opinion. I'm also positive I have a weakness for drug addictions (it runs in the family), so in a way HPPD affects me in a positive way by making my drug use a quality-over-quantity thing.
Anyways, it was a typical Belgian summer day (lots of wind and threatening clouds along with occasional clear ups) and I didn't have much to do except apply for a few summer jobs here and there and buy a tick removal tool for my cat. I hadn't been drunk since before the exam period and I didn't want to waste my once-every-30-days drug experience on just alcohol, so I decided to pay my old acquaintance ether a visit. After setting up a job interview for tomorrow I asked the pharmacist for a small bottle of ether along with the tick removal thingy. One of the few good things about Belgium is that things like reagent grade ether or generic DXM-only cough medicine can be bought over the counter for just under 3 euros, no questions asked.
I know for a fact that ether is an extremely addictive substance. As soon as I take a whiff of that first rag, it's nearly impossible to stop huffing more until all the ether runs out. Like liquid crack if you will. But only in the short term: Once I run out of ether there's generally little incentive to go back and pick up more of it. Not only would it sound and smell too suspicious to the pharmacist, usually by the time I run out I'll be too out of it to still make it all the way back to the pharmacy. Keeping this in mind, I poured half the bottle into a small bong with the bowl removed: this is my huffing device. The other half of the bottle I put in a cardboard box and place it behind the tool shed outside so the smell won't stick around too much and I won't be able to get any until I'm sober again.
All this time, since I picked up the ether, my mood was improving continuously, I was getting more and more anxious to start huffing every passing second. Now that I was about to put my lips around my makeshift huffing device and get my first ether rush in 90 days, my heart was already pounding in anticipation. Here it goes. Bubble bubble bubble, inhale, exhale,... 'yeah...' I sighed, as the familiar warmth and lightness spread itself throughout my body. It was exactly as I remembered it! I carefully put the bong on the table (as my coordination was fast going to hell) and felt my thoughts accelerating continuously for about 15 seconds, like a slightly drawn out orgasm of the brain, climaxing, and finally fading back to normal. I was now slightly tipsy (reminiscent of about 2 or 3 beers). It wasn't as strong as I would have liked it though, so I decided to up the ante a little bit.
I covered the carb hole on the bong, held it diagonally (so the ether was quite close to my lips) and sucked it like a motherfucker, breathing in very deeply, exhaling fast and inhaling again, several times until I felt the rush coming on. Then I sucked some more and held the bong nearly horizontally, my taste buds no longer tasting the burning taste of the ether touching my lips. Then I put the bong down, and felt an amazing rush, 3 or 4 times stronger than the first. I could feel the heat scorching my lungs. That's the stuff! Then I started hearing that familiar audio hallucination typical of ether intoxication. It sounds like a heavy machine being turned on a few rooms away. Usually that sound marks the beginning of the rollercoaster ride which won't stop until the ether runs out.
A fun aspect about ether is something I styled the 'drunken recall'. If you've ever seen the movie Beerfest, you'll know what I mean. Often times, while I'm under the influence, I'll remember things I learned while I was on ether in the past, that I forgot when I was sober. Extreme amounts of deja vu. It also feels like I can get 'higher' on ether each time I use it. Back during my early experimenting days, when I would get intoxicated up to a certain level I'd lose my nerve and be too scared to huff more and dive deeper into the ether trip. But the more acquainted I get to the feeling, the more I'm able to huff without pannicking. This time I got really deeply intoxicated up to the point where I nearly anaesthesized myself. I had already lost track of time (I remember looking at my watch and reading 16:00, looking away, immediately checking it again and seeing 20 minutes had passed) and I could no longer see what was outside the window or hear music, and another bout of deep huffing made me collapse on my bed, barely not knocking the ether over.
I don't remember much after that point, except coming to again after having been half passed out for at least 30 minutes. It was unlike anything I had experienced up to this point! For what seemed like an extremely long time (though in reality it was probably more like 20 minutes) I felt as if I was trapped inside a waking dream. I dreamed as if I was walking around in my bedroom, trapped, eternally stuck in a strange kind of purgatory, while simultaneously knowing I was actually lying down on my bed, passed out. It was as if I had a dream that lasted many, many lifetimes, a thousand years, a thousand years of just walking around in my bedroom trying to figure out why I was there, in this purgatory, and for what purpose? It was like being in the Matrix, my mind being controlled by an illusion and predestined to be awakened after one thousand years of a waking hallucination!
It's somewhat difficult to recall the exact memory and even more difficult to put into words. The memory of this extraordinary experience is fading as I'm typing this, and I hope I'll still remember some of it by the time I wake up tomorrow. I now know that it is POSSIBLE, and what it's LIKE to have a dream lasting (seemingly) a thousand years! The human mind is a very strange thing, and in my imagination seemingly everything is possible. That thought both makes me both scared and intrigued at the same time. Ether is a very powerful substance in its own unique way. I can really break through with that stuff if you use it enough. Next time I use it, I'll probably end up going deeper than I would want to, so I suppose this was my final ether experiment. It was certainly worth 2 months of anticipation. Onward to my next experience, which will most likely be either GHB or MDMA.
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