Citation: officepark. "Ego Loss - Scary but Fun: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10X Extract) (exp71805)". Erowid.org. Dec 10, 2019. erowid.org/exp/71805
My first time smoking salvia, I was outside, at night, at a deserted office park, with two good friends sitting me. It was 10x stuff from a local head shop. First, I took the hit and it tasted pretty bland and everything was normal. Then the trees started to look unusual: textured and lighted rather oddly, warped in some indefinable way. I thought to myself, this is definitely working... and then BAM.
Complete ego loss. I had no idea where or who I was. I was part of some infinite curving sheet
I had no idea where or who I was. I was part of some infinite curving sheet
, everything melding away. Visualize a rolling pin pushed across bread dough, and I'm on the part of the dough that's fucking getting pulverized, only it's way more colorful than bread dough. And the bread dough is the fucking universe, and I'm just barely aware of my friends and the office park insofar as they are one tiny layer of this entire curving racing universe. Except its the tiny layer I'm focusing on, and I'm trying to follow it.
I was peeling upwards, it was scary because the world as I had understood it was nothing; a fake, a meaningless layer getting
squished, everything that existed was completely melted, and I was running along the part that was melting. Behind me was gone, a mess, indistinguishable, but I was right at the curve so right in front of me was still normal, and I was running, running to reach normalcy but it was always just ahead of me.
And then I'm at the very top of the trip, the peak of the rollercoaster, tripping like I never have before. This reality, which I have so inadequately compared to bread dough, is only one of a fucking million, and I'm just one tiny part. Someone literally came and spoke to me and told me I was entirely insignificant. I was hanging on the edge of the universe and I found out: that universe was just a spec in the hair of another dimension. I was completely gone. It was scary, but actually slightly calming after the racing terror of the ascending rolling vortex.
Then my ego came back to me, and that was the end of the incoherent trip. I was back. Finally I could see my friends. I was sitting on the ground, instead of the bench I had been on, and I had no idea how I got there. But there was a split in the world. Everything was pulling away from this dividing line that rested at the center of my vision. I looked back and forth between them. The rest of the world didn't exist: just the space between my two friends. I was so confused, and I walked to the other side of the picnic table and sat down.
I told them, 'that was so fucked up. The world is so... fucked up right now. How long has it been?' I forget what they replied. Ten or twenty minutes. I'm not sure. 'Oh my god. The world was fucking running away from me. Like the pages of a book.'
'Like other dimensions? Like a book? Yeah, I know what you mean, a lot of people get that.' My friend was chill as ever.
No, it wasn't like that. I tried to explain. 'No... like, a book.'
My other friend tried to direct my trip. 'Yeah, you said that already, now try to get something else out of it.' He sounded annoyed, but I didn't care. I asked them what happened before, what happened before I got up and walked to the bench, and they told me that after my hit I lurched to my feet and stumbled over to one of the guys and grabbed his neck and leaned on him and he sat me down on the ground. I was saying nonsense syllables, melding random vowels and consonants together, completely incoherent. None of this I remembered at all; this was when I was tripping, outside of my head among the swirling rolling layers of cosmos.
I felt punchy and out of it for another hour or so, although that was probably partly because I was trying to remember the trip. Entire thing lasted thirty minutes. It was scary but completely worth it. A COMPLETELY UNIQUE AND UNBELIEVABLE EXPERIENCE.
Let me try to describe one visual to you. When I'm at the peak of my trip, and I'm realizing my tiny role in the giant rolling link that is the universe, this is what I see: one tooth on an infinite pink gum of realities. Fucking crazy. I got nothing auditory; I couldn't even hear for most of the trip.
I expected hallucinations, yo. But that shit was REAL.
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