Citation: bystander. "A Quiet Bond: An Experience with MDMA & Cannabis (exp71365)". Erowid.org. Jan 7, 2018. erowid.org/exp/71365
||(pill / tablet)
| T+ 6:11
||(pill / tablet)
| T+ 8:30
| T+ 8:30
||Tobacco - Cigarettes
Recently I had gotten a hold of some X – 3 blue pills, triple stacks from what my friend tells me. Me and my boyfriend John cleared the day and took a pill each at 3:45.
Initially I felt a bit of a “rush” - like I had taken some caffeine or something. But that was at about 4, so I chalked that up to placebo. At around 4:20, my body started feeling heavy for some reason – I felt extremely lazy, kind of dizzy almost. But it didn't feel bad. Also, I was keeping a diary at this time (hence, why the times are specific) and I noticed I was writing much faster and that in my haste to get words out as quickly as possible, I'd drop letters in the middle of the word.
At 4:40, I started getting into the roll – we had popped in a movie, and I started talking a lot (which I don't normally do). My mouth started becoming dry, and the heavy feeling left. Things started to feel “good” (that is, things stopped feeling bad). It wasn't so much that I liked being touched, but more that I liked to touch things and feel different textures. At some point, I had my feet in a position that should have been uncomfortable and cut off circulation to them, and when I moved my feet, it felt amazing – the blood rushing back to it felt like a wave of warmth running through my limbs. Temperature stopped being uncomfortable – it was a nice day, and John and I were cuddling beneath a thick blanket and we were both sweating, but neither of us found the heat uncomfortable. My attention span and short term memory started degrading.
At 6:11, John and I decided that we weren't getting so much of the physical effects – at least, not to the intensity that other people speak of them – so we decided to have another half pill. It didn't increase the intensity of the physical feelings – I find that X, rather than increasing good feelings, more often decreases the bad ones.
After this, John and I talk for two hours about everything and we bond intensely. I had no idea I had so much still to say to him, and things that I used to be afraid to tell him were so easy to tell, and he accepted it very easily, understood, and talked with me about it all. We both shared a lot of things about each other – and I think, some things that we didn't realize bothered us but were huge stumbling blocks in our relationship – and in general grew closer. At some points, I became overcome by waves of pure love and couldn't even speak, could only stare at him with tears in my eyes and say, “I love you.”
At 8:30, the movie was done (way done) so John and I went down to a friend's apartment to smoke some bud. I didn't really know the people in that apartment, but the roll made me able to freely engage people in conversation. I don't think anyone knew I was rolling in there, and it didn't appear to them that I was on any substance. I could remember names easier, and I found it easier to continue conversations and was genuinely interested in these people and what they were going to do with their lives. Smoking weed shortened my attention span and short term memory drastically – I'd say something, and forget what brought it up. Also, it turned off all quality control in my conversations – I started bringing up inappropriate/uncomfortable topics with ease, and it lead to awkward conversations. Also, the weed dry mouth combined with the X dry mouth to create something horrible. I tried chewing gum, and it was impossible because my mouth was so dry.
After smoking. John and I walked around a park, smoking some cigarettes. The cigarettes didn't really affect me, but I could feel the smoke as it swirled around in my mouth, went down my throat, swirled around in my lungs, and came back out – very cool. After awhile, when John and I were sitting and talking. The cigarettes were just something to do with our hands – we were getting slightly fidgety and anxious.
I noticed I was much more patient, much calmer – X, paradoxically, relaxed me. It took forever to move from one place to another (which is why we moved from the place where we were watching the movie to someplace else about an hour and a half after it was done). Also, after I smoked the joint, words started getting mixed up in my head – in my diary, instead of writing “smoked a joint” I wrote “smoked a weed”, and things like that.
The night was not so good. I was unable to sleep, and took two melatonin to help me calm down and sleep. Didn't help – we both lied there with our eyes closed. However, I did a lot of introspection that I unfortunately forgot because of my shortened memory. The day after, I felt refreshed, reborn in some way (if slightly irritable because of a lack of sleep). However, I was really anxious and my eyes felt strange. I realized I had bitten my lips and cheeks and tongue the day before enough to hurt, and didn't realize it until the X wore off.
Overall, I'd say X was a great – especially in the setting that I did it (comfortable, relaxed, with my boyfriend). I felt more motivated afterwards, felt more in tune with John and myself. And, although the day after I felt a bit fried, I learned a lot from this experience, and bonded a lot with John.
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