Citation: Curious Observer. "Finding Inner Peace and Harmony with Life: An Experience with Morning Glory (Heavenly Blue), Yoga & Cannabis (exp71102)". Erowid.org. Mar 9, 2010. erowid.org/exp/71102
The following account may seem far-fetched or over exaggerated, but I can assure you of the positive results I have had with Morning Glories are so wonderfully true. My drug use 95% of my life so far has dealt mainly with just alcohol and weed. I have lightly experimented with some opiate pills and other psychedelics. My account is actually of two subsequent morning glory trips and the beneficial results that followed. This account is rather lengthy, but I have a lot that needs to be explained in order for others to even possibly identify with my experience. And subsequently help others find true love and peace inside themselves also.
My first trip on Morning Glories began in my dorm room. I want to focus on the enlightened perspective and insight I gained instead of the more recreational and enjoyable part of the trip. The trip really began about an hour and a half after continually chewing then swallowing these disgusting seeds. I noticed the same sort of trip intensity as Salvia and Shrooms, but with not as much visual distraction, but more clarity. The clarity of the trip lay within my own mind.
My mind began thinking much more quickly as I noticed myself ending other peoples sentences for them without control. I also noticed myself become quite distressed and emotional about many things at many times during the trip. I can label these thoughts now as negative feelings of fear, jealousy, doubt in myself, and an overall disconnect with life. These feelings of course exist in each one of us and I believe my self confidence to be the real victim of these negative feelings.
These feelings which had been detrimental to my life reached new heights upon reaching college. I moved into a dormitory and while I had a lot of fun in some ways, I could feel a lot of the satisfaction with my life slowly slip away as I began to question everything in life. I eventually reached a point of depression that was affecting my grades. I was at a point where I had to choose between taking medication which I didnít believe in, or pushing deeper and beginning to face this baggage of mine which had grown and grown throughout my childhood and teenage life. I chose the ladder, and after a month had returned to somewhat more stable state. I still had a disconnect between myself and everyone else. Life continued differently, but not necessary better after that for about six months. My satisfaction with life still wasnít at the level I needed it to be and I hadnít really made any profound progress.
After the first trip on Morning Glories I did notice something somewhat different about myself. A very subtle hope had grown in me. This wasnít pronounced enough to identify at the time, but I definitely had the feeling of touching upon something deeper. A major event in my life then happened two weeks later. I was arrested and charged with marijuana possession and paraphernalia. I had driven with three friends and after being pulled over for one of them getting out of the car at a stoplight while drunk. We were all arrested for him having two bowls in the central console.
This whole event kind of killed a part of me to a point of overall numbness and intense pain. I had always tended to be the responsible one who never really got in trouble because I never really went out of my way to do anything stupid. The experience of being detained by asshole cops and then having the anxiety of possible charges affected me greatly. Also having the anxiety of my parents finding out and being forced to go to school at home, or worse (my parents are very strict and not accepting of drug use). I was either going to grow or regress from this experience profoundly. My overall intensity of questioning life and existence came back into play more strongly than ever. A week later I took a larger dosage of morning glories; four hundred seeds this time.
Many friends urged me not to trip while I was distressed with this problem because of the heightened intensity of feelings and emotions from morning glories. I did anyway and I cannot explain why I did any more than I can explain why I didnít just begin taking depression pills earlier. I simply had a gut feeling that I just couldnít hide from this. I personally believe that taking depression pills for an extended period of time is hiding from and ignoring the actual spiritual disconnect that everyone feels at some point in their life.
So after all this the most important trip of my life so far occurred. This second trip began much like the first, but with much more optimism, but also more nausea. I gained the heightened sense of things again along with the increased anxiety. Although this time something was different. I was finally truly aware of this anxiety existing simply because of me. All the insecurities, hate, fear, jealousy, and anxiety was not some external manifestation, but my creation. Then I laughed with joy at the absurdity and simplicity of it all. I was also now laughing at the absurd argument I was currently engaged in with one of my close friends. He already being angry from the argument, became even angrier at my laughing. I assured him that I was laughing at the situation not him. The rest of the trip was still quite intense. Especially after the 2 gram blunt of marijuana. Taking these seeds with and without marijuana gave different, yet equally important experiences. I waited a good two hours into my trip before smoking to experience both sides somewhat equally.
The trip was at the same time much more peaceful after my new awareness. Unfortunately I forgot a lot of this the next day, and had a very patchy memory of the whole trip. A week after this trip I was at friends party, and was incredibly drunk and high. It was at this point I reached a sustained moment of clarity, which had never happened to me while sober, much less drunk or high. This clarity had been growing throughout the week, and now had reached a point in my mind where I could reach complete clarity through concentrating and opening the ďenergyĒ or ďchiĒ or whatever you want to call it inside me. I can actually now physically feel the pressure in and around my brain change when I remain concentrated, which Iím able to maintain basically all of the time now, (more on that later). This pressure is both painful and pleasant. The pain I speak of isnít a sharp pain, or a bad pain. I can best describe it as a weak, but beneficial cleansing pain that I concentrate on when I need clarity and to move beyond my own ego. So upon waking up the next day, within ten minutes I was able to regain this mental focus.
That Saturday night I worked then went out with a friend to a party. I had no compulsion to drink or smoke pot, but was instead caught in a natural focused ďtripĒ. This trip I was having now was unaided by any drugs. I was completely sober and was not debilitated in anyway, but wonder. I could have ended at any moment, but didnít dare try because of the exhilaration and insight I now had. My connection with others had been renewed in a way that I can only compare to my childhood. I used to look back fondly at my childhood and my joy and attentiveness to life. This was again present, but much more pronounced, and now as an adult I could review this change more critically and analytically.
I felt a joy in talking to others and connecting with others. Even if they were strangers I felt a love for them and life in general. I also would find myself just staring and feeling a connection with animals and plants in general; whether those animals were squirrels, birds, dogs, or even fish. This connection was there as well, but not as pronounced. This connection I speak of is most pronounced with other people, because I now have the feeling that regardless of whatever in the past would have distanced me from others, that was now gone. Each stranger I pass by and meet I see not as an enemy, but a fellow human who shares so much with me in basic essence. Thatís the only motivation I now need to be warm, friendly, and compassionate towards everyone. Even those that have acted in a negative manner towards me, I have not taken their attacks to heart as I used to. I also in general donít take things as personally, which I know was the one of the main components in my depression.
So I continued on this new path in life. I noticed I was not a procrastinator anymore and my ability to focus was helping in my school work greatly. I can now truly read without intrusion from other thoughts. So my retention of information has greatly increased. My new confidence in myself and this whole thing called life has really helped me feel true satisfaction, which was something I had lost or maybe never had before.
I also had the urge to begin focusing on the rest of my body besides my mind. I began engaging in deep breathing, or yoga breathing quite spontaneously. I understood the power of the breath of life. I have been running and weightlifting for three years consistently with a few couple week breaks spread throughout that time. I had this spontaneous urge now to include yoga breathing and stretching, which I had never done or thought seriously of doing prior to my new enlightened consciousness. I usually do this in the morning as it helps prepare me for the rest of the day and seems the most natural. My coordination and balance have also improved as well as my sense of rhythm. The obvious benefits of this in all physical activities donít really need to be explained.
The motivation for writing this account, or to me more a reflection, was really the discovery that the processes I have been experiencing have already been detailed in the eight different types of yoga with the exception of Mantra Yoga. The branch of yoga that I feel explains perfectly what has happened to me is Purna Yoga. Purna Yoga is the branch that focuses on self-transcendence, through love and compassion for life. There are different levels of consciousness in Purna Yoga. I have not researched the different levels enough to give a good explanation. This whole spiritual experience has already been explained in yoga and I have achieved this higher consciousness without any prior knowledge of yoga. Even if I had this prior knowledge of the different types of yoga, I probably would have disregarded them as unimportant or unachievable.
If this piece has any purpose it is that inner peace can be achieved. So much of humanity is enslaved by getting trapped in one negative cycle after another, without ever really addressing the core problem itself because most donít achieve an awareness of it. I believe my awareness can be attributed to my deep questioning of my existence and meaning of life (which Iím still doing). As well as the most unlikely of psychedelics, those divine Morning Glory seeds. I want to point out that I am not trying to state that now I am now finished making spiritual discoveries. In fact I feel almost overwhelmed by all the possibilities and discoveries that now are within grasp. I feel as if life is just now truly beginning.
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