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Back To The Magic
MDMA
Citation:   Blackheart. "Back To The Magic: An Experience with MDMA (exp70752)". Erowid.org. Nov 22, 2017. erowid.org/exp/70752

 
DOSE:
1 hit oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
  1 hit oral MDMA (pill / tablet)
BODY WEIGHT: 165 lb
Ecstasy: my drug of choice. Does anyone forget their first glowing experience? Does anyone ever stop desiring that elusive magic? After a couple of mind-blowing, spirit-awakening X experiences, my wife and I became semi-regular users. Never rolling more than twice a month, but also rarely going more than three months without a use. Unfortunately, we both noticed the same phenomena: within a year or two, each progressive use of the drug provided less of an emotionally positive push, but retained all the negative side-effects.

I strongly disagree with those who say that this 'loss of magic' is just an acclimation to the experience. Each time we'd roll, we'd try to choose a comfortable environment, excellent music, and a block of time sufficient to spend it uninterrupted in the 'love bubble' we've created for one another. And each time, we'd noticed that the emotional push of the drug had waned a bit from the time before, until it almost disappeared completely (I would estimate this happening at around 12-20 uses a piece).

So we decided to try and bring back the magic. We've found few suggestions on how to do so, however, beyond just 'wait it out'. So that's what we did--we took 13 months off between doses.

Our return to the drug came this past weekend, when we went to Las Vegas with friends for a birthday. Some reliable X was available, so we decided this was the time to see if our serotonin had re-loaded.

Unfortunately, we did not 'set the scene' as well as we had in the past. The night began with friends unsure of where to partake. Some wanted clubs and dancing, others a pleasant suite at the hotel. The party eventually split up, and my wife and I went with another couple to the Wynn hotel to explore their lounges. We dropped at their 'Parasol' lounge, with a lovely view of the waterfall in back of the hotel. I was feeling very positive, and although the setting wasn't perfect, there was plenty to see, most of it beautiful.

Within fifteen minutes I was getting first alerts -- colors brightening, a general shift in perception. My trip buddies reported nothing. I made a visit to the bathroom (a good sign things were progressing) and on the walk back knew I was going to roll. About ten minutes after joining the group, I was definitely feeling it--as was my wife--although we both reported the come-up to be more gradual than we had experienced before (perhaps because we took it in pill rather than our usual capsule form?).

At this point we were very much hoping that the X would bring us the positive mental push and happy warm feelings we had known before. And I'm pleased to report that some of the magic was back! I was completely ready to tell my friends and my wife how great they were--to have easy conversation and enjoy the sights and sounds. We spent a long time in the lounge, chatting and enjoying each other's company. After a couple of hours, we re-upped, and the booster really jacked the roll up to positive land. It wasn't quite the positive vibes and overwhelming euphoria I had in my earliest rolls, but then again the setting wasn't 100% comfortable...there were people around, a waitress to contend with, and one friend had some trouble with anxiety before the second dose. Still, I felt really relaxed and positive, if not euphoric. I would also report that I had fewer side effects (jaw-clenching and eye-twitters are usually big for me) until I took the second dose.

I did notice that when I would have individual moments with my wife (hugs, kisses, looking into each other's eyes) I would feel the rush of positivity and euphoria just course through my veins and warm my face. It was nice to have the magic back. I think if it had been just the two of us in our apartment with some great music, it would have been near a peak experience. My wife, who had lost more of the magic than I had, reported similar results.

The remainder of the night was more of the same; we eventually joined the rest of the group at another casino that wasn't nearly as enjoyable. There was a lot of anxiety and indecision within the rest of the group about where to go and what to do, but we were able to shake it off and enjoy ourselves. I think this never would have happened before we took the time off.

We're waiting a month to give it another go, and next time we'll make sure to have the setting just right (back to the love bubble). I'm excited to see what will happen. If things are positive, I'll report back.

Exp Year: 2008ExpID: 70752
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Nov 22, 2017Views: 1,600
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MDMA (3) : General (1), Glowing Experiences (4), Loss of Magic (34), Various (28)

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