Citation: Junebug. "Born-Again Psychonaut: An Experience with Mushrooms (exp70413)". Erowid.org. Mar 26, 2016. erowid.org/exp/70413
||Pharms - Divalproex
I had always loved magic mushrooms as a teenager and often chose to trip alone, contemplatively in nature, and always approached them with a sense of reverence for the spiritual enlightenment I always felt I gleaned from them. However becoming a mother at 20 abruptly stopped my psychonautics; I behaved like an upright citizen for sixteen years.
However I experienced problems with my mental health and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, and it was strongly suggested to me by various psychiatrists that my experiments with psychedelics could have contributed to my problems. I never really accepted this and saw my drug experiences as something that had been hugely influential in shaping my psyche and my intellectual and artistic sensibilities. The mental illness, I feel, would have happened anyway.
I have recently began exploring psychedelics again and wish to share my experiences as a diagnosed manic depressive. I feel my recent psychedelic experiences have been enormously positive and cathartic; I have had two years of excellent mental health despite or perhaps because of having several wonderful trips.
I feel my psilocybin experiences have contributed to my new-found sense of wellbeing and wonder; I am enjoying a period of intense artistic output all inspired by my trips.
The first one was on holiday in Amsterdam with my boyfriend. We bought Mexican psilocybin mushrooms from a smart shop, I cooked them into a tasty soup and we ate them in our wonderfully appointed motorhome. We giggled fit to burst for about four hours, then enjoyed one of the most intense, emotional and loving conversations, lying holding each other. We drifted off to sleep in each other's arms enjoying colourful visions and profound thoughts!
For the following few months I painted, wrote and communicated with a vigour and intensity I feel had been lacking for years. Every trip has been wonderfully similar. My partner and I have an understanding and a communication that transcends ordinary reality because of our shared experiences. I must add I have been studying shamanism for the past couple of years and always use my trips as spiritual tools. My trips have brought so much clarity into my spiritual awareness and I plan to be using mushrooms as medicine for the rest of my life.
I am still taking my mood stabiliser medicine (Depakote) as I have no wish to experience mania or depression again, but I am no longer fearful that my use of psilocybin, LSD and MDMA is harmful to me.
[Reported Dose: 'half of one of these packs you buy from a smart shop in Amsterdam']
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