Citation: astrid. "The Brownie of Hell: An Experience with Cannabis (exp69656)". Erowid.org. Aug 24, 2009. erowid.org/exp/69656
||(cookie / food)
Three days ago I had the most horrifying experience in my entire life. Me and my friend hadnt smoked marijuana in months (marijuana being the only thing I had ever done) and we decided to buy 'magic brownies' from a friend. The girl who sold them told us the ONLY thing in the brownies was marijuana. We didnt really think they were going to give us any more than a buzz, so we ate them about an hour before my mom was supposed to pick me up.
BAD FUCKING IDEA. I'm not really sure about the time, but I think about 15 minutes after taking them and realizing they did nothing for us, we decided to go home. I walked up to the street my mom was supposed to pick me up at and started reading my book.
I dont know how much time passed, but suddenly I began to feel intensely high. The cars would pass and the WHOOSH sound they make would be delayed. I was like, crap. This is all I need. My mom is going to be here any minute. So I got up and started walking down the street in the direction of my house in hopes I would wear it off. It just got worse. I started feeling like, if I just pulled the upper half of my body a little higher, I could have an out of body experience. I kept trying to snap back to reality so I could fake it in front of my mom.
My mom drives up minutes later, and I have never felt so high in my life. Everything looks different. I get in the car and complain about feeling sick...and she just starts talking and driving. Suddenly I feel like she is going down the Same street she just went down, and I get this HORRIFYING sense of deja vu...like sometime in the past she went down the same street twice to check if I was high and see if I noticed what she was doing. (note: to my knowledge this has never actually happened). So I was like, 'hey why are you going down the same street twice?' and she looked at me funny and she's like,' I didnt go down the same street twice.'
At this point I feel soooo weird. She's like 'are you alright? Whats the matter?'
We arrive at the house and I go into the backyard and OHMYGOD it totally hits me. I can fully apriciate the whole alice in wonderland thing now. I'm sitting on this swing thing we have and my mom comes out to look at me. I have absolutely no distance perception whatsoever, so she looks like this little person coming towards me, slowly getting larger and larger. The backyard is rediculous looking. Everything is wrongly proportioned...or something. I try to explain what the backyard looks like but I cant seem to find words. The backyard starts splitting...like instead of being a full picture in front of me, there are two halfs and they branch out towards me when I turn my head from side to side.
In my mind im screaming 'WTF IS THIS?' my mom asks me what the hell is the matter and I feel like I have no choice so I'm like 'I took a marijuana brownie' and she's like 'this is not marijuana' and suddenly it hit me that my brownie must have had something else in it and I get sooooo scared. I was horrified. My mom and sister take me inside and into my sisters room and our house is like, IN A CIRCLE. Everything is curved out.
Before I know it, I'm being driven to the hospital. My mom asks me to take my gum out. And I do. And then I start moving my tongue around the inside of my mouth, and when I do this, the entire scene in front of me like..gets this blurry line in the middle of it, and I can hear myself licking that line, defining it, creating it. I CAN NOT EXPLAIN HOW WEIRD THIS WAS.
But the worst part is coming. I came into the hospital and they admitted me.
For awhile they were trying to get me to talk but for some reason I could not talk. And then, like magic, it all became fucking hell.
EVERYTHING I saw was something I had seen in my memory years ago, or in different lifetimes. Or whatever. The walls. The curtains. The sounds of the hospital. EVERYTHING. The nurse took me in to take a pee test and thats when it really hit me. All that I was experiencing was a hell that had been created for me. All of it had happened before, and I knew that now I was going to be here for eternity.I started crying and she told me 'no crying' .but it was so real, the things she was saying, the way the bathroom looked, the way she looked...I felt as if it had all happened to me before. I knew it was real because the deja vu was so incredibly strong. I remember looking up at my sister's face and seeing her saying 'astrid , talk to me' and then 'she's just staring at me' and deep within myself I KNEW that she was only a simulation for the hell that had been created. I was meant to live in this endless cycle of horrifying deja vu for the rest of eternity...
Ok this is going to sound really self centered..but I believed that every soul that had ever existed has lived the life of astrid, experiencing the same things as me, and made the choice whether or not to take the brownie which would determine their destiny forever. Its so ridiculous, but at the time I believed it so much. I realized that all the people that had talked to me about drugs in the past were mere simulations to test my weakness and temptation.
Crap. I'm not even really religious. At all.
The scariest part was that everything felt as though it had sickenly occured before, and that its purpose was to occur again and again and again in this neverending cycle of torture. I tried to explain this to some people after, and its really obvious that you have to experience it yourself to understand the horror.
Yeah, so I'm guessssing it was lsd. I was still feeling weird the next day. Not like, hallucinating or anything..but just kind of like..whoahh..blahh. I dont think I'll ever know what it was for sure. The ER people got a blood test but they said its difficult to detect other drugs besides marijuana in the system. All I know is, I've done marijuana quite a few times in the past, and this was NOT marijuana. I just wonder if the circumstances were different, maybe it wouldnt have been a 'bad trip?'
Anything to do with doctors scares me now I think. I went to the doctors for a checkup the next day (because my mom was being a paranoid freak) and I saw the white walls of the doctor office with like, cheesy little kid wallpaper on it... and I got this wave of terror. But it passed in like a second.
I'm scared to even do marijuana after this. I just cant ever know exactly what I'm getting with drugs. My advice to people...expect unexpected when dealing with this crap. I've always wanted to try lsd, but I never thought it would be this way.
Some authors report suspicions that their cannabis has been 'laced' (adulterated), in some cases, presumably with PCP. While this is possible, readers should be aware that idiosyncratic response to the effects of cannabis (usually higher doses) can lead some users to presume their cannabis has been 'laced'. There is no way to know if the cannabis in the report below was adulterated or not. Reports of plant material and cannabis laced with powerful synthetic cannabinoids and other psychoactive substances became more common starting in 2007.]
[Erowid Note: Although the author supposes LSD, while this is possible, readers should be aware that idiosyncratic response to the effects of cannabis (usually higher doses) can lead some users to presume their cannabis has been 'laced'. There is no way to know if the cannabis in this report was adulterated or not.]
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