I Felt Alone. Very Alone.
Citation: Holy Mountain. "I Felt Alone. Very Alone.: An Experience with Cannabis (exp68514)". Erowid.org. Mar 15, 2018. erowid.org/exp/68514
It was only a few months ago that I tried smoking some weed. I had always been somewhat interested in it, but my family has had a long history of drug use, so I was always reluctant to engage in any illegal substance. I had told my friend about my wonderments concerning pot and he openly admitted to me that he smoked. He persuaded me to smoke some with him when my dad was away at work one day, and I, totally curious of its effects, just went with the flow.
He brought his gravity bong over and he loaded a bowl into the bong stem he'd screwed into the cap. He took the first hit since he was experienced and I wanted to see how it exactly worked. It seemed intense. He lit it for about 40 seconds until it seemed to produce into sticky black resin. The hit was huge, and the excess smoked filtered past his cheeks and clouded in the hair. It was now my turn and after watching that I wanted to try it even more. I lit up another bowl and proceeded to follow his smoking method. The smoke rushed into my lungs and it immediately felt like someone has started a fire in my throat. Seemingly, I blew the smoke that troubled my lungs out the open air and let the rest simmer down in my lungs
My phone rang and it was my dad. We had a pretty normal conversation but I felt everything speed up. I had trouble getting my words out correctly, and the tone of my voice increased. I got through the conversation fine and resumed to the garage where my friend was taking another hit. At this point in time I felt very nervous; almost paranoid. I told my friend he needed to leave because my dad was going to be home soon, which was true. I cleaned up all noticeable aspects that would suggest I was smoking.
After 10 or so minutes into my high I noticed my sister's boyfriend's truck outside. He came in and immediately noticed I was high and asked for some assistance in giving his dog some medicine. I held the dog's mouth open so he could submit the pill to his mouth (I think it was for worms - I'm not sure). The pill opened up and the powder went everywhere. It was hilarious to me. As the dog struggled to get away from my grasp, everything seemed to go in slow motion. He'd twitch and his figure would cast an illusion... as if he was moving in slow motion. After he had left I was definitely feeling it, and when I sat in my computer chair and leaned back I felt as if I was flipping. Over and over again I flipped. It was interesting, and probably the best part of the high. Then it turned bad.
I felt alone. Very alone. And I knew if my dad were to unexpectedly come home he'd know I was under the influence and I'd be dead. I began to lay down on my bed and hopefully sleep off its effect. But no, I was to energized to fall asleep and was scared as well. Later that night I was still very buzzed but was coming down, and I ventured onto my computer. I messaged my best friend and told her what I was feeling. I felt like she was going to leave me and I would be alone. I don't know why I felt like that, but I did. She told me I was just having a bad high and repeatedly said she loved me. For some odd reason I didn't believe her though... and at the point I just wanted the high to be over.
By the time my dad got home I was almost sober and he didn't notice a thing. That took a lot of worry of of me, but the paranoia aspect still haunted me until I feel asleep that night. The next morning was a great wake up... all insecurities of the past night went away and I was vindicated of all burdens.
This was around two months ago and I'm still smoking. My second experience was great and I managed to control my high completely. Initially I just wasn't able to handle my high and I wasn't exactly prepared for what it contended. I'm glad I didn't let that experience ruin weed for me, since I'm very happy with it now and no longer have bad highs.
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