Citation: Obyron. "Totally Wide Open: An Experience with DOI (exp67886)". Erowid.org. Jan 18, 2008. erowid.org/exp/67886
||(powder / crystals)
Subject: Twenty-five year old white male. Recently quit smoking (again). Overweight, but in very good health according to the latest physical.
Substance: 8mg of DOI in a 1:1(ml) solution of vodka. It's actually left over from the last batch I mixed up, so it's been sitting in solution in my freezer for a while (a month? Two?).
The Short Version: Peaked anywhere from 90 minutes to 3 hours from ingestion (see below). Down to +1 within 14 hours. A lot like acid, but a lot not.
The Long Version:
I've always been a fan of long trips. My first trip was on LSD, and so maybe the earth-shattering nature of that trip set the tone for what I'd expect all future trips to be in terms of length and intensity. Tryptamines are great, and I eat them when I'm in the mood for a short shift of mood or mindset, but aside from mushrooms they're just not my choice for visionary exploration. 2C-E was great, but PEAs really made my day when I got a chance to try DOI. It's been unpredictable for me, and I'm a bit of a hardhead anyway, so for my latest experiment I decided to try 8mg. The result totally blew me away.
It's Saturday afternoon, and I know this one could last a while. I've never experienced the epic lengths other people seem to with DOI-- my several 2-5mg experiments have been up and down in about 10 hours-- but I know that 8mg is a jump, and I want to budget plenty of time just in case.
I ran out of cigarettes a couple of weeks ago, and just for shits and giggles I decided to see what would happen if I simply didn't buy more. I quit every now and then for periods of time with varying degrees of seriousness. It's going so so. Quitting alcohol has gone a lot better for me. I had a couple of beers at a club the other night for atmosphere, but I got nothing out of the experience besides an appreciation for how much clubs jack up the price of a bottle of Budweiser. I haven't touched hard liquor or been drunk in months. For this reason, the hardest part of the whole trip for me is the taste of even 8ml of vodka. Is this really what this shit tastes like? I used to drink vodka neat all the time, and I don't remember it being this nasty... Chased with coke. Down the hatch.
It's about 5pm. I settle into bed to read for a bit and wait for the effects to come up. I'm reading The Celestine Prophecy, and I'm right near the end. The ideas in the book are interesting, by the writing is by far some of the shittiest I've ever seen. The fact that this book was such a bestseller astounds me, and gives me hope for my own writing. Don't use allegory to tell a story if the best you can do is a really shitty allegory! Keep some artistic integrity and go non-fiction! So yeah, the ideas are neat, but the writing is almost physically painful to me. At some point, approximately 30 minutes after dosing, I fall asleep.
I 'wake up' at 8pm, in the sense that I regain control of my consciousness and am objectively aware that I exist in a bed somewhere in Kentucky. How was I asleep? How long did I dream? Am I still dreaming? The visions are -intense-. It takes all of my energy not to stare dumbfounded at the shifting patterns of light and crawling geometric figures on my walls. For a while I do just that. I am aware of a great energy and joy bubbling up within me.
This has always been the thing I loved most about DOI. Sometimes it's mind-crushingly psychedelic and visual, and sometimes it hits me like LSD in more of an analytical, 'thought-loopy' kind of way without being overtly hallucinogenic. Yet always at the heart of it all is that irrepressible energy. It puts me in touch with a sense of what I can only call childlike exuberance. For a little while everything seems new, and the world is exploding with possibilities. Maybe it's always like this, and the cruel cynicism and dejectedness of the daily grind won't let me see it. The joy and happiness bubbling out of me makes me want to cry, and I think for a while I do that too.
The CEVs are the most amazing and intense CEVs I've ever experienced in my life. I've always kind of ignored the closed-eye stuff until now, but this totally taught me respect. At times it was like my whole head was filled with color, in stark bands of, for example, red, with clearly defined sweeping edges between shades. I experienced reds, blues, greens, purples, oranges; and with each color I could actually feel bodily sensation. With red I felt warmer, with blue I felt cooler, with green my skin would tingle, with purples it felt like someone was running their fingers over my body. At other times it's like there is a film running on the backs of my eyelids which I am watching in high definition. The depth and fluidity of it just amazed me.
Coming out of sleep in a heavy +3 like is like seeing the entire world again for the first time. As I wake up my brain is interpreting every single thing I see as new information. I roll around for a while, lost somewhere between dreaming and awake. I know there were thoughts carrying over from frenzied psychedelic dreams I was having, but I cannot now remember them. At some point I finish the last few pages of The Celestine Prophecy, and by 9:30 I'm ready to put on some music and move around. I'm a huge fan of The Crystal Method, and so I put on Legion of Boom and dance around my house. As always, this amuses my dog.
The last track of the disc is one of my favorite TCM choons of all time, and it perfectly encapsulates the feeling of the trip. I'm going through what I feel is a time of cleansing in my life. I'm trying to cleanse myself of the unhealthy, narcissistic, self-absorbed habits like drinking and cigarettes or eating shitty food so that I can get more in touch with my own nature; my own being.
Energy has always eluded me. I am aware of my energy, the energy of places, the energy of music, the energy of so many things; yet I'm unable to harness this energy and do anything with it, or feel anything from it. I always feel somehow distant from situations and places, and from other people. Music and reading are the only two activities that can generally get me into a meditative zone where I can feel /something/, but it's still like I'm missing something.
This track comes on, and for 7 minutes and 25 seconds, I get it. During that time I was totally in touch with the energy I felt inside of me, and with the thing that makes me Me, and that sustains me. As the song says, 'I have been informed... that it's Totally. Wide. Open.' I had a moment in there where I just completely hippied out and became one with the universe, and it felt so amazing that I can't express it. If I knew how to recapture that feeling, waking and sober, I'd persist in nirvana until the second of my death.
The rest of the trip was great, but for me the absolute peak of it was the seven and a half minutes in which I was Totally Wide Open. Things wound down from there, and by 5am I'm at +1. By 7am I can go to sleep without feeling like I'm missing anything wortwhile. I woke up at 4pm feeling like a million bucks, although still at a loss at to just how to harness all the energy around me.
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