Citation: Anonymous. "Tweaking Is Not Fun: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp67849)". Erowid.org. Aug 10, 2018. erowid.org/exp/67849
My friend an I decided to do meth one night, so we went to this guy's house we knew kind of well and bought some from him, and proceeded to do five lines each. We knew nothing about the drug and the guy didn't tell us how much we should have done -- I learned later that an acceptable dose of speed (or meth or whatever it was since I am still not clear on exactly what is was) is like, two lines.
My friend and I were okay for a while -- she was totally amped up and excited, while I was sedate (which is just what uppers do to me) and couldn't stop burping because of the churning of my stomach. Then my friend, who is on a slew on anti-anxiety medication and mood stabilizers, started vomiting everywhere. We got in her car and by this time the positive effects of the drug had worn off for me and I was extremely paranoid. We were driving around, stopping every couple minutes so that my friend could vomit up nothing, trying to go meet up with a few of our friends. This went on for about an hour. I finally made it to my friend's house to sleep at about 5 AM, but obviously never made it to sleep. I stayed up all night thinking about how my friend, who was no longer with me but still vomiting, was going to die, even though we had spoken with a friend who was an EMT and he'd said she was going to be fine based on several questions he asked her. That was the most horrifying 4 hours of my life, until that afternoon.
I went home the next day and my mother accused me of being on drugs, which I denied and left the house in a blind panic. The fact that I was able to escape from my house and not have my parents press the issue is probably what saved me from getting arrested (or getting the guy who gave us the drugs arrested for giving a controlled substance to a minor) or going to the hospital. I was still extremely paranoid and tweaking out, and I went to a safe place and smoked a ton of pot to calm myself down. The entire afternoon I just kept repeating to my friends that we were not leaving the safe place we were at, and that no one else was coming over. My pupils were still extremely reactive, ranging from totally blown to as small as the head of a pin.
My friend had gone home as well and told her parents that she got drunk the night before since she was still vomiting. We were both able to sleep that night -- me with the aid of marijuana -- but we weren't completely back to normal physically and mentally until two days later.
This experience was a year and a half ago and in the last six months only have I been able to go a day without thinking about it or having vivid flashbacks of the horror I felt while I was tweaking. I have done methamphetamines since this experience but in a much smaller dose and it has not been a problem. Tweaking can be emotionally disturbing. My general anxiety about life as a whole has increased dramatically since this experience and I no longer have a positive, curious attitude towards drugs. In fact I haven't tried a new drug since doing meth. I suppose that isn't an awful thing, but I just consider it a loss of innocence in a way, and now I even get paranoid when I smoke pot, which used to bring me nothing but joy.
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