Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Salvia divinorum & Cannabis
Citation: Gilgamex. "The Evil Grip of the Psychedelic Gods: An Experience with Mushrooms - P. cubensis, Salvia divinorum & Cannabis (exp67683)". Erowid.org. Dec 31, 2013. erowid.org/exp/67683
My experience with mushrooms on the whole have been mostly negative. I had written a paper about my past shroom trip in which I was able to attain the vast knowledge of the universe all at once. I had been on a beautiful summit during the sunrise, magical but not necessarily good as things had also took a turn for the worse. I had been deemed the next Timothy Leary in my school for what I had accomplished and with accuracy but with each new trip I noticed myself becoming worse psychologically. This day was different because it took me a step further. I had an impending fear all day that this was not going to go over well. Down in the dumps about my own personal view alongside the world. With school, unemployment and loneliness getting me down I began eating an 1/8 of P. cubensis
4:00PM - My 3 friends and I each ate the mushrooms in the mall parking lot with about a half cup of Orange Juice. It tasted horrible as usual P. cubensis
are but noticeably milder.
4:15 - In the car riding home I notice myself coming up just a bit, a bit queasy and airy headed. The techno music playing becomes a little smoother, more lucid.
4:25 - We arrive at one of my good friends house and we all plunk down in his room to enjoy the vibes. I was feeling good, turned on some Pink Floyd - Pigs and closed my eyes as the visuals were starting to become stronger. We packed about 4-5 bowls worth of weed which had a very intense effect on the experience especially during the coming up period.
4:40 - 5:00 - This is where the Salvia was brought into the mix. Unknown to me he had procured a fresh gram bag of Salvia 20x. Someone passed me a bowl and I thought it was marijuana, little did I know he poured more than half the bags worth of salvia in it. I take a hit and held it for 10 secs thinking it was weed. My friend asked me did you know that was salvia? My face lit up with surprise. Pure ecstasy was pouring over my body. Warm vibes and a surging energy inside that would twist me left and right. A new dimension of reality that mushrooms themselves could never bring me. The two created a synergy that propelled me way farther than I knew was possible. The bowl passed around and I managed to get 3 more solid hits and let the energy roll over me.
5:10 - 5:40 - I close my eyes and the visuals were brilliant. Beautiful street signs and checkerboards, alleyways, cartoony arrows flowing like rivers. Shooting stars, over-exaggerated emotions of happiness as if I was screaming 'YES THIS IS FUCKING AMAZING' over and over. As the visuals continued in their infinicey I notice the tinge of the visuals were becoming darker. Ugly faces screaming with sharp teeth within patterns were all around me. This is where it got really hairy.
5:40 - 10:00 - I became very frightened of the visuals displayed before me. I tried to use techniques I learned would help in a downward spiral trip but nothing could save me here, in this place. Soon my mind went hay-wire, constantly fighting myself moving at fast clip. I tried to confront my personal demons that had their grip so tight around me, The visuals became darker involving shifting shadows, clocks and ominous towers. I realize it's too much for me to handle and I start beginning to break down. A panic attack starts waving over me, my breathing almost ceasing. The colors and patterns enveloped my whole vision. In a matter of seconds the white light of Death that I had seen before on DXM started washing over me. Heart rate flying the roof, loosing consciousness at an alarming rate my friend grabs me, a sober one and understood what I was going through.
Without him leading me out of the room and settling me down I would've went right to the mental home (wouldn't be the first time). He tried to calm me down with different ideas of visuals that were interesting to think about. He couldn't really help my situation, I still preceded to have a bad trip the rest of the time. Yet he did make it more manageable and during onsets of multiple panic attacks I managed to stave it off with his company and watching some TV. A sober experienced tripper is a godsend, always remember.
My friends mom came home around 7:30 so I decide to walk home, just a 1/4 mile away. I get home and I'm still getting attacked by this evil force I can't shake. The horrible things in my life in plain view, feeling cheated, mistreated and unlucky. I break down to my brother and he put things in perspective a little better and so I watch a TV show that seems to repeat itself a million times. Soon thoughts of killing myself to end this horrible state of my life started bothering me. The fear of going crazy and going back to that awful mental facility brought me to tears. I cried a half cup of water all over my pillow and by around 10:00 I'm mentally unstable but emotionally capable to get to sleep, after tossing and turning for a good 2-3 hours before.
So here I am the next day, mind's a bit fuzzled but for the most part I'm back to where I am. I had been naive to think I could attain the world's knowledge and never having a backlash. Even being a bad trip I could fully understand that the way things in life play out is the way it was supposed to be. Looking at Syd Barrett and his brilliance diminished by overdoing it and expecting always good results let me reflect that I might take the Final Hiatus now or maybe I'll try psychedelics again when I'm 30 or something. In the end the pieces are only as good as the whole.
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