Citation: Wounded Explorer. "Lessons Learned: An Experience with AMT (exp67674)". Erowid.org. Aug 10, 2008. erowid.org/exp/67674
This event occurred about a month ago. At that time, I was 23. I am a male, and healthy aside from an anxiety disorder. This was my first experience with AMT, but prior to this experience I had tried 2C-I, 4-AcO-DMT, 5-MeO-DMT, saliva, morning glory seeds, DXM, ketamine, cannabis, and poppyhead tea. I frequently use alcohol. I do not take any prescription medications.
I made several mistakes when I decided to try AMT for the first time. The first was probably experimenting with psychedelics at all. My anxiety has been a problem for a while, and I knew that meant it was more likely I would panic during a psychedelic experience. My second mistake was in trusting a vendor I had had problems with before. This vendor sold his research chemicals in capsules. On a previous occasion, he sold me one capsule which contained a much larger amount of the active substance than it was supposed to. The vendor assured me his capsules would be properly weighed in the future, but instead of trusting him I should have broken open the capsules and weighed the substance myself. My third mistake was trying a fairly high dose on my first experience with a drug.
There were two factors which contributed to my anxiety before the experience began: First, I had read of deaths caused by AMT. Second, I was alone, and even though I am usually alone when using psychoactives, I am always worried about what would happen if I became unconscious.
It was a Saturday. I woke up around 9:00 a.m. I ate very little that morning to avoid vomiting should I become nauseous during my AMT experience. At 1:45 p.m. I swallowed a capsule which, according to the vendor, contained about 50mg of AMT.
Some time later, I saw the carpet of my apartment begin to shimmer. This is often the first hallucination I see when I use a psychedelic. I sat back in a comfortable chair and closed my eyes, facing a window with a bright light. This usually helps me see visuals, but in this case I could only see a faint grid full of concentric rainbow-colored circles, which I could see with open eyes as well.
I sat in my chair, eyes closed, for hours. I pulled my legs up into the chair and crossed them. I soon became confused bout the sensations I was receiving from my body. I could feel pressure from parts of my body against the chair: heel, heel, knee, knee, elbow, elbow, but I could not discern which sensation was coming from which body part. I brought my hands together and interlocked my fingers. I could feel a sensation from each hand, but I couldn’t tell which sensation was coming from which hand, and I couldn’t tell they were touching each other. I eventually felt myself lifting out of the chair. Opening my eyes snapped me back to reality, but it also increased my nausea, which had been present the whole time. I closed my eyes again and once again lost track of the sensations in my body.
While I was in the chair I began to feel very cold. Eventually it became too much for me and I decided to lie in my bed under the covers. I turned out the lights and closed my eyes but did not experience any more mix-ups of body parts. There was a faint light coming through the window, and when I opened my eyes I could see it rapidly flashing for about a second. My thoughts fell into a loop which repeated for hours: “Psychedelics bring to mind some questions about perception, like sometimes my hallucinations are so faint, I’m not sure if they’re real or if I’m imagining them, but then I realize, what’s the difference? Seeing a color and imagining it uses the same part of the brain, and with no external stimulus to measure, there is no objective way to tell which one it is, and if I can’t tell the difference, there is no subjective way, either. People with synesthesia see colors but know they aren’t real, and have a hard time explaining whether they see the colors or are just imagining them. I think about these questions when I’m sober, too, but I tend to think they’re trivial and silly and psychedelics make them seem important.”
Eventually my thoughts started to become cluttered with other voices, and even though I realized they were coming from my own brain, they seemed to be external. I heard my inner monologue fade out and snap back in several times, which I found a little disconcerting, but at this point I was still quite calm.
I noticed I was sweating heavily so I left my bed and went back to the chair. It was at this point that my thoughts took a decidedly dark turn. First, it occurred to me that if my experience started to become unpleasant there would be no way to escape it, and with the duration of AMT I would probably be stuck with the experience for hours. I closed my eyes and hoped to attain the floating sensation again. After a few minutes I wondered what it would be like to have an orgasm while in this state. I thought about masturbating, but I realized this would increase my pulse and blood pressure and I worried it might be dangerous if combined with the stimulant effects of AMT. I reached up to my neck to feel my pulse so I could make a judgment about the danger. It was difficult to find my pulse, but when I did I realized it was quite rapid. I started to believe I was dying. I tried to turn my thoughts to happier ideas and took several deep breaths to try to calm down, but I kept returning to the idea that I was about to die. I then attempted to convince myself that it was OK to die, and that it might be an interesting experience. That did not work; I wanted to live. I decided that I should seek medical attention.
At around 9:30 p.m. I went to my nightstand, where I hide my drugs, and pulled out all the scheduled substances I had, including the AMT, and flushed them down the toilet. I then dialed 911. I found it difficult to form my thoughts into words so I could speak to the operator, but I was nevertheless able to tell him my address and what the problem was.
The police arrived before the medics did. I did not deal with the police well; I knew that they could not search me or enter my apartment without permission but I let them in anyway. Flushing my drugs was also a mistake. The police can take evidence they find “in plain view,” and this was a rule I knew. I left the labeled containers for my scheduled substances in the open next to the toilet. I also left my nightstand drawer open, which contained paraphernalia and several substances that were potential analogues. The police seized all this evidence. I was anxious about the legal troubles I might face, but I found talking to the police and medics very pleasant, even amusing.
The medics took my blood pressure and pulse and reported that it was pretty high. I decided to get into the ambulance and let the medics take me to the hospital. At the hospital, the nurses were friendly, and I grinned when they talked to me, even when they were expressing serious concerns about my drug use. They monitored my blood pressure and pulse for a few hours and took a urine sample. A nurse convinced me to go to a detox place on the north side of town and the hospital called a cab to send me there.
I arrived at detox at around midnight. The facility was locked and they talked to me though an intercom before they let me in. The voice in the intercom was very garbled and it was difficult to tell what they were saying. I feel this was an effect of the AMT. A woman at detox gave me two tablets of lorazepam in hopes of curbing my anxiety. I lied on the bed and tried to sleep but could not. I had severe vertigo, feeling myself moving sideways at high speed.
The next morning, a worker at detox called me to breakfast. I ate breakfast and looked around the room to see if I saw any distortions in the floor or ceiling. I could not, so I asked to leave detox at around 9:30 a.m. They had me speak briefly with a counselor and let me call a cab to go home. It was hard to understand the voice on the phone, and I started to wonder if I was still under the effects of AMT.
When I arrived at my apartment, I decided I did not have the responsibility necessary to use drugs and flushed the remaining research chemicals I had in my freezer. Several hours later I was still not sure if the AMT had completely left my system. I closed my eyes and sat still to see if I could feel the sensations of my body mix up, and indeed I had a hard time discerning which sensation came from which body part. That evening at around 7:00 I once again saw my carpet shimmering and faint rainbow circles fill my vision. This lasted several minutes.
I have not used any psychedelics since this experience. No legal charges were ever filed against me.
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