Citation: pedoro. "3 Years of Abuse, So This Is Where I Am: An Experience with DXM & Diphenhydramine (exp67432)". Erowid.org. Feb 8, 2011. erowid.org/exp/67432
I will leave out specifics of trips here, and rather focus on my use/abuse of dxm over nearly 3 years now. I started like most people, heard about it from a friend, read up on the net, decided to start at low doses. I think my first time I was so afraid of it I only did around 200mg. Prior to this I had only smoked pot 4 or 5 times, which always resulted in a near migraine type headache for some odd reason. No other substances other than occasional alcohol had been used, and I had recently had my first drink in almost 6 years.
Over a period of a month or so I increased the dose until I had my first 3rd plateau experience. This was an unbelievably great experience. Over the next year I went through periods of daily use for 2-3 weeks at a time at 600mg until I no longer felt anything at that dose. I would refrain from use for 2 weeks or so and then repeat. I eventually reached a point near the end of the first year of use that it took roughly 900mg to have any notable response. This is when I began mixing with other substances. I have tried salvia divinorum, benadryl, dramamine, alcohol, pot (still causes headaches) codeine, shrooms, among others. I eventually settled on a combo of 600mg dxm, and 8 benadryl. This resulted in a somewhat more pronounced visual experience, but cut back on the euphoric sensation I was accustomed to at that dose. As normal I would have to increase the dose over the period of a weeks of use until I would be dosing 900mg of dxm, and roughly 20 benadryl (25mg each) I would stop use for a few weeks and repeat.
Over the last year I have gotten married, and have continued use of dxm, however I had to alter my use. I have found that 300mg of dxm along with 15 benadryl twice a week will result in a fairly good experience, comparable to a low 3rd plateau, but considerably more open eye hallucinations, particularly in low light situations, however completely dark rooms result in little to no visualizations of any kind. At this dose I can still be functional enough to pass as just being really tired from work, since I am around my wife the entire time who has no idea that I am using dxm. I have started buying the generic brand of sleep aids containing the same active ingredient at benadryl because I can get them much cheaper, thirty 50mg pills for less than $2. I find myself checking all the local stores and buying my dxm containing products in bulk while they are on sale. At any given time I have at least 5 bottles of some sort of dxm stashed and 100 benadryl pills in my tool bag in my car. I find myself constantly craving that feeling of a high 3rd or 4th plateau, but am unable to reach that point anymore. I recently ingested 1200mg in about 10 minutes and managed to keep it down with no problem. It had been 3 weeks since I had used any substance and yet I found myself feeling a low 3rd for about 40 minutes and after 2 hours I felt no effects of any kind other than slight issues with balance.
So this is where I am at....using dxm on average at least 2 times per week in my now familiar and functional dose of 300mg with between 15 and 20 benadryl. Needless to say I have no idea how much I have spent over the last two years, not to mention the fact that my wife is eventually bound to find one of the empty bottles in the trash or one that I have stashed. I live for my Tuesday and Friday night fixes. Half the time I am so tired from work that I pop $7 worth of pills and fall asleep 20 minutes later.
As for the physical side effects of my use. I wake up most nights drenched in sweat. I spend the next day constantly thirsty, and somewhat jittery, and I often see things out of the corner of my eyes most of the next day after dosing. I no longer have normal sleep patterns due to the use of both substances, as the dxm keeps me awake and the benadryl makes it impossible to sleep due to the fact that it makes me unable to sit still at high doses. I was actually taking ambien for a while to try and get back to sleeping better, which worked for a while until I found myself taking 2 or 3 at a time when my wife was out of town to get high off of them. I know it has affected me somewhat as far as brain function as I find myself unable to come up with words that would be part of normal conversation, and losing track of time and thoughts. Mostly short term memory seems impaired. But during the periods when I do not dose for 2 weeks or more I find that the thought process and memory loss returns to normal.
I have used no other substances for the last 6 months other than dxm and benadryl, other than alcohol which probably amounts to 12 beers total in that time span. I have tried several times in those six months to stop using dxm, but have not been able to make it more than a month without use, usually less than a week. I wouldn't say I am addicted, since everything I have read says that it's not an addictive substance. However, I definitely find myself thinking that it sure would be nice to have a good 3rd plateau buzz tonight, but continually talking myself out of taking more after downing the first 600mg dose. I am doing better now than I was 18 months ago at this time as far as my use is concerned, but I fear I will never get that craving out of my system.
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