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Disturbing Fear
Salvia divinorum (10x Extract)
by DissociateDeity
Citation:   DissociateDeity. "Disturbing Fear: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (10x Extract) (exp67143)". Erowid.org. Dec 16, 2012. erowid.org/exp/67143

 
DOSE:
  repeated smoked Salvia divinorum (extract - 10x)

BODY WEIGHT: 180 lb


I have wanted to try salvia divinorum for about 5 years now. I actually once tried just the dried leaves when I was in college, smoking them with a group of friends. This produced very little of an effect at all, engaged with a mild headache and an unpleasant aroma.

About 5 years later, after a lot of experience with other substances, both good and bad, I decided to finally order it. I ordered from a web-based company, 1 g of the 10x extract. I expected that it would be much more of an experience than the plain dried leaves I had tried in the past and I was right. I'm not sure why, but even beginning this journey, before I had received my package, I felt a slight dread and fear of the substance. I have always been very interested in psychoactives, so this fear didn't get the best of me.

The Salvia extract came in about a week ago and my girlfriend and I tried it, smoking it out of a homemade water bong. This was probably a mistake, although I don't think it really mattered much. She apparently had a mild, unimpressed experience. It just made her laugh. I thought that was odd and while she was laughing I was laughing as well. We hadn't really smoked much and hadn't held it in at all which was what I had been instructed to do by a friend.

I was very surprised at the feeling. It seemed to wrench control of me, mind and body, and did not relinquish at first. I felt a brazen tingling over my back and the back of my head and felt what seemed like a very strong flying sensation. It felt like I had fresh cool air blowing against my body, strange because I've never experienced external stimulation from an internal stimulant before. Needless to say, this was a very small part of the experience. It was not pleasant, so do not take this as being a pleasant effect, it was actually more of an interesting detail. The effects wore off quickly and I resolved to just get rid of it, but I ended up not doing so because I thought maybe I didn't have a strong enough experience. I was using some reserve since I was with my girlfriend and I couldn't really let go like I wanted.

The next day I smoked another bowl and held it in for a little longer. This started becoming frightening as I was staring at the fence on my patio and it seemed like I had no control of my body. I felt as though I was being lifted and turned sideways in midair. As cool sounding as that is, it wasn't. It is not a painful feeling that the salvia induces, but it is an extremely uncomfortable one, kind of like being held down and controlled by a person larger than oneself. I would have described it as being emotionally, mentally, and physically raped by some outside force, except I have never been raped so I don't know what that's like. But it seemed that this would be close to me.

Also I had the distinct feeling that there was a gateway that was near me, that I wanted to enter to experience the full effects, but my fence (or the thing controlling me) was mocking me, laughing at me, saying no, that this is not what I thought it was going to be. That I would not be allowed through that gateway. It frightened me, but I also understood that I may not have been ready for that type of experience.

The third and last time that I smoked the salvia 10x I held it in for at least a minute. It was terrible. I was thrown into a fit of near blackout. I could only see dark images of myself and the things around me and was very very frightened. The world was spinning and instead of only have most control over me, I felt as though the (thing) I had experienced before I had taken complete control over me. I felt suffocated, although I could breathe. It took at least 20 minutes for this to end and even as my vision began to return I felt very uncomfortable and out of sorts and could not settle down. I felt like a small animal being roughted up by a hand grasping all around me. As soon as this experience ended enough for me to move and thinking semi-clearly again, I dumped the rest of the extract in the toilet and flushed it away.

Salvia extract not only tastes horrible, but I had several bad experiences with it and I don't anticipate trying it again. If I ever do, I will probably meditate for a couple of hours before hand, maybe it is something dependent on mindstate, I don't know. All I know is, it was terrifying and I want to stay away from anything like that in the future. Damn galactic monster or something.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 67143
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 16, 2012Views: 2,645
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)

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