Citation: Hoffman. "Surprise Insanity: An Experience with Morning Glory (extract) (exp66884)". Erowid.org. Oct 19, 2009. erowid.org/exp/66884
This is going to sound really weird, probably, but I swear it's true, or at least as true as my mind is being with me.
First, it must be noted that I am quite a lightweight (usually) with drugs. I've technically 'overdosed' on weed more times than I can remember (overdose just meaning the intense, psychosis like state excess can induce) and it really doesn't take much to get my mind altered. A healthy dose of morning glory seeds to make my day more interesting is around 60-80. Now, I'm not talking full-blown trippin', but definite *effects*.
Yesterday I ground up 150 morning glory seeds, putting 20 seeds worth of powder each into two pill capsules, leaving about 110 seeds worth of powder. I added this to about 12 fl oz of clean distilled water and left it, covered with plastic wrap, to extract overnight, shaking occasionally. It was not refrigerated, just left next to my futon. My original plan was to drink the mix and take the two pill capsules all at once. I usually do just put about 60-80 seeds worth of powder into pills, but I wanted to experiment. So this morning I tried to drink the mix but it tasted like SHIT and being a pussy I nearly vomited off of a little taste I had, so no go.
I got home from school and filtered the water off into a large tray, figuring it would evaporate quicker if there was more surface area, and I could evaporate the water and scrape the remaining alkaloids to avoid the nasty taste. Two hours of the water being on the tray under a fan later and no evaporation. Dad would be home soon, and it looked like I had a fucking meth lab going on in my room, so I decided to just ditch the water and try again some other day, using something more volatile and more seeds.
This is where it gets weird, but I swear it happened. I went to dump the water in my sink, and I thought, 'Albert Hoffman (first synthesized LSD) discovered the effects of LSD because a tiny amount got on his skin and he started trippin', so maybe if I pour this entire mixture onto my hands and rub it in real good I'll just get a tiny buzz or something.' You know, it's just LSA, nothing major. So I poured it all over my hands and rubbed it in real good. My hands were sticky from the mixture. Keep in mind that this was just 110 seeds dissolved in about 12 fl oz of water.
About ten seconds later the back of my head started to tingle. I got the rush I get when I smoke way too much weed. My body tenses up, seems to lose feeling, and shakes a little. My heart was POUNDING and I felt insane. My mind was racing. I thought, as I usually do when this feeling sets in from too much weed smoking, 'Nooooo way, not again!!!!' and the usual fear of heart problems or psychosis.
The next minute or two seems to have escaped my memory, but I think that I sat on my bed, let out a few cries of panic, then went downstairs and sat on the chair. My heart was still pounding like crazy, and I was so scared that I was ready to tell my dad to bring me to the hospital when he got home, and I'm normally really good at not wanting to do that. So I sat down and tried to calm myself. I drank a glass of water pretty quickly, then tried to relax. I sat upstairs in the loft where the TV is. Everybody Loves Raymond or some shit was on. It was too much. I turned off the TV and listened to Hits of Sunshine by Sonic Youth on my laptop, it always calms me down. My racing mind was a blur of fractals and swirls as I closed my eyes. It all gradually slowed down, but the fear was still there.
I could help but think, 'Why is this happening?' I knew this was real because I checked my eyes in the mirror, and my pupils were dilated like platters, not that I needed that evidence with the complete flattening of my psyche that was going on. I was scared. Why the hell would briefly touching an LSA mixture fuck me up to this extent? This was nothing like experiences I'd had of actually eating seeds, this was like a crazy ass full blown (well, maybe half-blown) trip from hell. Not much is scarier than thinking you've either gone crazy or taken the wrong substance while under the influence. I thought maybe I should have refrigerated the mixture or something, that maybe some fungus had grown in it that would destroy my mind and cause enough vasoconstriction to kill me.
I held my ground, however. I sat in my chair, when dad got home I turned on the TV but left my music on and tried to act like nothing was different. I gradually calmed down more, focusing on the slow music. It made me giggle and feel as though I'd left earth during the instrumental bits, but scared during the vocal bits. Dad was downstairs cooking, and I was feeling anxious. This was about 45 minutes into the thing.
I closed my eyes, terror mounting about the usual OD, toxic biproduct, ego death fears, and saw the following: A field of blackness first, then there appeared in the upper right corner a brownish grey Aztec/Inca-like statue of a god wearing a crown of heart-shaped morning glory leaves with a blue flower on his head. He was dancing on a rainbow which was being pulled back into infinity like a treadmill, like Rainbow Road in Mario Kart. He danced like a robot, kind of, but he told me, 'Your mind is strong, your body is strong, you can handle this. You've endured worse. You can handle this.' Then he disappeared and I fell into a relieved swirl of fractals and various patterns, too complex and beautiful even to describe, which remained in my mind's eye even after I opened my eyes. I felt relieved, like the Morning Glory God had helped me and shown me what I already knew but had forgotten. Please note that I don't believe I was necessarily visited by some supernatural force, but rather I understand that this was a product of my mind which was influenced by reading about Morning Glory Spirits in other reports. Still, though, it helped immensely.
I ate dinner and talked with dad, avoiding eye contact, but definitely maintaining. Then I watched some more TV, definitely able to handle it. This was about 1.5 hours into it. I felt heavily sedated. Eric and Donna from That 70s Show were hugging on TV, and I was reminded of my girlfriend. Words can't really describe what followed, but basically I had another vision, like that of the Morning Glory God, but more emotional and tactile and less visual. I saw my girlfriend and felt love for her and an intense desire to be with her and to make her happy. I felt like the layers of my mind were peeled back to reveal this complete and utter devotion that I've got for her. I called her and told her about this, giggling frequently as the effects seemed to wear off.
This was the last really trippy part of the experience, but still (about six hours in) I feel very sedated and sometimes react very heavily to external stimuli. For example, when I was typing about my initial anxiety at the beginning of the trip near the top of the report, I started to feel slight pangs of it again. I get really involved in whatever I watch or listen to. It's been weird.
I really don't understand how this happened. All I did was touch some water that contained a relatively tiny amount of LSA. These were potent seeds, and I am a lightweight, but really, who's that much of a lightweight? I just poured some extract on my fucking HANDS. I didn't even eat any.
All in all, life changing and amazing, just kind of weird based on how it was 'ingested.' I'd like to find out more about how this whole thing worked.
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