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Curiousity Overcame Me
Cocaine & Alcohol
by Sookie
Citation:   Sookie. "Curiousity Overcame Me: An Experience with Cocaine & Alcohol (exp66841)". Erowid.org. May 20, 2012. erowid.org/exp/66841

 
DOSE:
  insufflated Cocaine (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 135 lb


I waited until I was in my 30's to try cocaine. A close relative was extremely addicted to it among other things for much of my life. I thought that I would become an addict too, that it was a dirty, evil drug that would consume anyone who tried it, especially me. If I had tried it young, quite surely it may have gotten the better of me. I have done massive amounts of research on all substances I have consumed, including the coke. Plus the relative's demise from such spoke loudly to me for years. Though the relative never shot it up. Nor would I.

In days gone by I have chronically smoked marijuana, snorted and smoked crystal a couple times, did methylone, used ecstasy regularly over a 2 year period, also have done plenty of mushrooms, a little acid and a handful of various pharmie pills over time.

I really enjoyed my trips on mushrooms and ecstasy, both giving me much personal insight into Spirit, the Universe and my opinions of what God is, or what it is to be alive on this planet. I feel drugs are to be used with purpose and intent, very respectfully. Aside from chronically smoking marijuana, which obviously isn't used magically on a daily basis, more of a habit and an escape from PMS & depression. My belief is one of appreciation and gratefulness to the Universe for pot, shrooms and MDMA. I have no regrets there.

I am a female, weigh about 135 pounds and am in reasonable shape. I don't drink coffee or take any medications, prescription or over the counter. I don't take vitamins. I eat a basic vegetarian diet and some meat/seafood occasionally. I had consumed healthy dinners both times prior to using the coke. These trips occurred in the year 2007. My decision to do coke was I felt in a safe place to do so and wanted to truly know once and for all, what it felt like to do it. Curiosity finally got the better of me. I may have not done very much, but still feel my insight may be valuable to some.

It was nice & fun, yes. I used it twice with friends, both times having good quality stuff (so the expert users said). The first time I snorted 3 small lines (maybe a half gram split between two?). The second time I snorted 2 bigger lines (less than a gram split between four people?). There was about a month in between the two times I used it. Both times were at night.

The set and setting for the first time was in a party town. We street scored which was exciting and stupid. We also had marijuana to help. We were in a hotel and didn't go in public to do the coke. I felt a little paranoid in the hotel like other people knew we were in there doing it, though we were quiet and chill. Lots of chatting. I really felt uncomfortable doing it in the hotel.

The set and setting for the second time was in a house with three close friends, quiet music and a chill vibe. We didn't have any pot. Everyone said pot would really help the come down, but we did not have any. They brought the coke with them, so there was no sketchy street scoring. We didn't go out in public.

Both times, upon snorting it - one line at a time, with about a half hour in between lines, I felt the first alerts ~ basically a 'lifting up & elevation,' of my mood within 5 minutes of snorting. Talking came easily, but I felt a twinge of depression in my conscious. I made sure not to talk too much, but could see how that might happen. At doing another line 20 - 30 minutes later, right back up to feeling heightened and chatty - bonded with those with me to some effect within 5 minutes of snorting. I just felt 'up,' there is not much more I could express about it. Like a blanket of cool excitement came over my mind. I felt more interested in the conversations occurring and the music playing. I did not feel like dancing or running around. Just sitting, chatting and drinking. Talking about paradigm shift crap. I felt heightened and awake.

The come down seemed to occur about 45 minutes to an hour after all lines were consumed. It was a let down to be sure. I had the definite desire for more, and both times I am glad it wasn't available. In wanting more, I was not like a total fiend. It enabled me to drink a lot, which is not something I think is a very cool side effect. Also, the next day there was a definite depression and feeling of being bummed out. I felt stupid for having done it. Or perhaps letting myself down. Maybe that is due to my growing up hating it, the guilt somehow attached to me for using it finally. Perhaps that was part and partial to my depression nagging at my conscious the whole time.

But I didn't let my mind screw itself that way too much, choosing to have a good time, not a bad trip. Still, I personally felt odd and disassociated both times. I also felt cold. I didn't notice my heart racing. My mouth wanted to grind a little, but I am very sensitive and prone to speed type drugs - on ecstasy I always had the feindy crazy toothy smile- of blatantly being fucked up. I could see if I did more coke, talking would have become a little weird/difficult. I remember my relative could not even speak sometimes when using coke (lots) and surely, I am of that ilk as well. I was surprisingly quiet, but very present with my friends.

I don't think I will do it again. Though I could see how very easy it would be to say yes to doing so again, if I were with a group of friends, they are busting it out & hanging out. It was very fun for chatting. But still, there is nothing magical about it to me. No spiritual revelations. No psychedelic fun. On the good side, the body load was minor. Nothing compared to using MDMA or crystal. I didn't do very much, so I could see how doing a lot would have some more severe effects on the body and mind. One thing I can say is you want more. There is no doubt about it. And too much of any good thing (with drugs) is never for the better. Not for me. I definitely had depression both times and felt guilty both times afterwards, worse the first time because I drank more that time. Those feelings nagged at me the whole next day, even after a reasonable & solid sleep. I was amazed at how easily I could sleep afterward.

Summary: I don't see why people love it so much. It made me depressed & feel guilty afterward ~ doing it wasn't all that fantastic. No magic = not worth it to me. Just a drug. No frills. Desire to more = strong.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 66841
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: May 20, 2012Views: 10,081
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Cocaine (13) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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