Citation: Zero. "Unstuck In Time: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (15x extract) (exp66786)". Erowid.org. Oct 22, 2020. erowid.org/exp/66786
NOTE: Daily, I take 60 mg Ginkgo and 200 mg Sertraline for depression. The following experience, though horrific for me, changed my life and changed my perspective. It helped me out of depression, and now I no longer need Sertraline.
Two friends, Mary and Jack, and I ordered Salvia online. Upon receiving our four grams, we grabbed our torch and bowl and trekked into the woods. We followed a path until we got to a clearing with the ground covered in dry leaves.
I packed a bowl pretty tight and took my hit. It wasn't great. Basically, I fell down and felt like I had smoked helium because my voice was on a vibrato. Up and down in tone, I was very confused as to why this was happening and thought I was in Alice's wonderland. Then I remembered I had smoked.
Packed another after the two minute peak. Gigantic hit and I sploofed the bowl, spraying smoke and salvia straight through the carb like it was a tea kettle.
Third bowl. Huge and I hit it standing up. I held in the smoke and stared at a tree and then swore. Salvia had absorbed me. The woods began to resemble the game Paper Mario, or the movie Waking Life. Everything was papery and lego-ey and cut-out. Then I collapsed to the ground.
Then I became unstuck in time. I felt as though the spirit of Salvia Divinorum had visited me and snatched me from my linear perception of time. He showed me time is a cycle, as I had recently read in Daniel Pinchbeck's book, Return of Quetzalcoatl. I SAW it as a cycle. Then my life went on repeat. Each time I would try to get up to get out of this repeat, Salvia would knock me down, sounding a nasal hum like a powerful freight train. Again and again, I got bowled over and stuck in the moment. It lasted forever. Everything was gone. Everything was lost. I was dead, I had gone through my own mini apocolypse. I did not remember I had smoked salvia or that my friends were there. All that existed was this strange plowing wall and time on repeat. I was cold. Nothing would ever feel soft and comforting. I had, in effect, lost everything.
After eternity, I entered an out of body experience. I saw myself in the past weeks. I saw how I'd been acting and how I'd taken life for granted. I should have been noticing every touch of grass and rustle of wind. Why had I been so hateful? So angry? So sad? Life had so much and I had thrown it all away! I was unstuck from time like Kurt Vonnegut's Billy Pilgrim and I could never go back. I could only watch my past, and my flaws at that. I saw everything I had been doing wrong.
I finally stood up. Nothing was familiar. Jack led me out of the woods with my hand on his shoulder. I was still tripping, life was still in perpetual deja vu. I must have passed the same log hundreds of times. The minute walk back to the car was the most difficult walk I've ever taken.
In the car, I collapsed and reflected. I needed to slow down, I needed to appreciate every bit of warmth life had to offer. During my come-down, I enjoyed the most satisfying cigarette and coffee combo of my life.
Salvia was a tough and unforgiving teacher. It showed me my flaws in a brutal, brutal way. I was petrified, seeing true fear. But now my life is so much more rich. I no longer hate, my rages are controlled, and I managed to get off my 200 mg of Zoloft. Salvia, a fearful and powerful gift, is to be respected.
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