Citation: The Godmother. "Expecting the Unexpected: An Experience with Cocaine (exp66755)". Erowid.org. May 19, 2020. erowid.org/exp/66755
We were in sixth grade and notorious for being the strangest kids in school. We would tye dye all of our clothes and parade around school singing hits by the Monkees. None of our piers had a clue but a few of the older staff were impressed at our obsession with a fad which had ended nearly 30 years ago. It might have been Faye's parental hippie influences or perhaps my older sister's anti authority lifestyle. Regardless, drug abuse was inevitable for our wandering minds of endless curiosity and a passion for the 1960's. By the time we were 11 we had already experienced our first THC induced high and we were ready and willing to indulge in more. Our expirementing gradually increased from natural to chemical psychedelic stimulants and etc. By 14 we were in separate schools but with equal drug experiences and there was nothing stopping us from pushing all of our limits. We imitated every fad that existed from the 1920's to the present year along with every drug that came with them.
Senior year Faye experienced a devastating accident which left her paralyzed from the waist down but this didn't stop us from seeking the inevitable victory of flying as high as possible.It was more like a realization that told us life is too short for if's but it has just enough time for do's. Because when you die it won't be wondering what if, it will be I did so I know for sure. By this point we could say that we had embraced almost every mind altering substance known to mankind except for 3, Heroin, Acid and Cocaine. Our days of ecstacy and raving were long gone but for some reason it was the new fad with our circle of friends. Everyone looked to us for advice, rides and connections. This is kind of flattering so we took our roles as the 'Godmothers' quite serious. We waited one night for our friend Charlie to call us and tell us he was ready to be picked up from a rave in San Berdoo. We were exhausted but came thru because it was our duty to take care of our friends. Upon arrival, Charlie told us to drive over to the Clarion Hotel where he could score some yeyo to help keep us up on the drive home. Cool I thought we've yet to try that simply because it never really came up, like heroin, it was just never around. The acid, however we've yet to do because we are looking forward to the day when Faye's dad gets out of prison. He promised if we waited until he got out he would make us real acid like that of the Haight Ashbury in 1964, not this modern so called acid that doesn't even begin to compare.
Charlie sprinted into the hotel and came back to the car with a baggie full of the white stuff. He racked out a few lines and I inhaled with the force of an 8 cylinder Italian car. Instantly the powder crawled down the back of my throat. It itched, it burned, it irritated the hell out of me, it was choking me, I couldn't stop gagging and coughing. My eyes watered with a burning sensation, my body was rejecting this terrible drug. I glanced over to Faye and noticed the bitter and disgusted look on her face. I peerded through my rear view mirror and caught a glimpse of Charlie holding his throat, scrunching his face in repentence. I quickly drove over to the Chevron down the street and ran inside barefoot, wild hair, blood shot eyes, in sweats and a t- shirt at 4 o'clock in the morning. This is not uncommon in downtown San Berdoo, day and night the streets crawl with freaks and crazies. I grabbed a bottle of sprite and quickly poured it down my throat. Heavy eyes of spectators and clerks followed my every move as I placed 2 dollars on the counter and akwardly walked out, paranoid, I could feel their eyes burning a hole in my back.
Once in the car I turned to Charlie who had racked out more lines and all I could think was 'Wtf is this shit?' I feel nothing but discomfort. After refusing his offer he snorted up all 6 lines and licked the CD case. 'Its bad coke' he said then swallowed with a sickened bitter look on his face, 'its really really cut with some nasty ass shit but I guess this is whats expected from Fox.'. Fox was an excellent source, the most available dealer for any type of drug but she always pinched her supply and cut it extemely making it the worst drugs you could buy. Angry and in pain I drove home and vowed never to do this drug again.
A few weeks later I get a call from Faye she says she got a new connect with the most impressive yeyo around. She is my partner in crime and only together will we experience it so instantly I came over and took in the line that was waiting for me when I got there. Lifeless bodies were scattered around the smoke filled room and I soon understood why. My face beagn to disapear, my throat began to melt, and a numbness suddenly crept through out my entire body. I collapsed gracefully on the orange shag carpet and laid on my back watching the ceiling fan go round and round. My comfortably numb body sank deep into the crevices of the rug and I began to laugh uncontrollably. I rolled around like a pig in the mud then stood up and said 'goddanm!' It was a beautiful feeling of euphoric bliss that filled my veins as quickly as it diaspeared. 'that's it?' I asked as I scanned the room for everyone elses reaction. The first thought to fill my mind was 'more'.. More, I needed more, I needed to feel that intense feeling of pleasure shock my brain.
The first thought to fill my mind was 'more'.. More, I needed more, I needed to feel that intense feeling of pleasure shock my brain.
I needed it to last longer than these god forsaken 15 minutes. I couldn't stand the idea of allowing feeling back into my body and the only solution was MORE! I snatched the straw out of someones hand and snorted up another fat line laid out next to that beautiful 5 gram pile.
Another line and another line every 10 minutes for 6 consecutive hours. I loved playing in the snow, the white powdery snow that brought about so much love, but the sun will come up soon and the snow will melt away, the sun will destroy all those pleasurable feelings. Hours later the pile is finally gone, melted away through every last nostril. Tension and animosity fill the air. This is the disgraceful moment of truth, the horrible disgusting point in time where reality not only returns but it strikes hard with a vengence.
I ate a few ambien and a methadone to try to alleviate this decedant hole of misery and despair, but nothing could stop what was about to come. I can't breath through my nose all I feel is a burning painful sensation lined all along my nose and behind my eyes up through my forehead. A terrible pounding floods my thoughts and I feel like I'm a ticking time bomb ready to explode in my own head. My body aches and I try but nothing I do will distract the pain. I blow my nose, chunky scabs of blood and mucous gush out. I still can't breath I inspect the inside of my nose closely in a small mirror and notice raw white tissue along the top inner part of my nose lined with blood. I close my eyes and try to sleep but the pain is so intense that I can do nothing but cry. Never in my entire life with all the drugs I've done have I ever felt a come down this atrocious. These feelings are enough to turn one off of drugs completely but not me. Occasionally I go into a cocaine binge and find a flawless bliss for a large sum of money only to find myself sick and broke for the next few weeks. Regardless, I think trying drugs allows me to manifest wonderful expweriences and expand my mind and creativity. The man who designed the well known structure of DNA, created it while under the influence of LSD. There are so many things we've yet to discover and create with the assistance of mind feeding. Cocaine, however leads to nothing really. Just some good times followed by very bad ones.
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