Citation: Why Again. "Sigh, Another Day: An Experience with Cocaine (exp66502)". Erowid.org. Dec 3, 2019. erowid.org/exp/66502
||(powder / crystals)
I recently wrote a retrospective on a binge on Cocaine. This is Day 5 of the binge, and I'm as high as a kite right now. I wish it weren't so. Each day I promise myself that I will NOT buy anymore of the silly drug, but I do it anyways, often without thought, as if it were natural.
My only real solace is that I didn't buy it in rock form... Which I've tried, and also like.
Right now, I dont really like what I feel. I've snorted some really pure Coke... And this stuff is obviously cut with something that is NOT agreeing with me. When I layed down, my heart rate slowed down into the 50s, as soon as I sat back up, it rocketed up to around 110-120. These rapid changes in heart rate CAN'T be good for me...
So... 20-30 mins into the trip... I'm left with about 500 more mgs that I have every intention of taking, probably tomorrow, unless I'm STUPID again and finish it tonight. I did NOT do a whole gram and a half at a time though.
Well, I'm not addicted... But the reinforcement is very strong. I WANT to get high again tonight... To experience that rush. This cocaine is cut with something I really dont like though.. It scares me a bit. I dont detect the niacin that I did in the cocaine I first got when I started this binge... Or the ether from runner #2. Note, the 1.75 grams of HIGH quality cocaine (80-85%.. Not cut with anything dangerous) that I got yesterday for 100 bucks was the BEST shit that I've ever, ever had. A 200 mg line made me feel a better, higher quality high while tolerant and only 30 mins after my first line of the day than 400 mgs of this did 20 hours later. And even the stuff I got today, being probably only 70% pure (and cut with something I do NOT like) is better than the cocaine I experimented with earlier in life.
Well, the high is starting to wear off... The comedown is going to be worse than from the first 400 or so mgs that I snorted tonight after work. My nose will hurt.. A headache will form.. And ill be awake for a long time. Ill be taking some sleep aids AGAIN.
My poor nose. Its been bleeding on and off... And I NEVER get nosebleeds.
I hate this stuff.. Only positive aspect is that I've slowed down consumption of cigarettes by quite a bit.
40 mins later... I still feel slightly numb. I would bet the cut was an -aine.. Novacaine maybe? Lidocaine? Or maybe Benadryl... I dont know, but I really do not like this high. And thus the problem is found.. Where can I find a good high again? Ever seeking that first high is why cocaine is so dangerous. I recommend, even for natural experimenters like myself, never even trying this drug.
Anyways... A harm reduction website has become a bit of a refuge while I'm feeling guilty about abusing this drug. Funny that I never felt this way when HEAVILY abusing opiates.. Which I've done several times in my life.
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