Citation: Markus J. "Fun Was Fun, but Prelude to Temporal Prison: An Experience with Morning Glory (exp66155)". Erowid.org. Oct 14, 2009. erowid.org/exp/66155
I finished eating the seeds. It took about 45 minutes to eat all 240+ of them. At first I started with one or two, when I got comfortable mashing them with my teeth into mush, I started taking 4 and 5 at a time and making sure they were thoroughly ground down before swallowing, often washing it down with iced tea (sugar ++) to clear my mouth. This wasn't very fun, but wasn't very difficult either. The taste was not pleasant, nor was it offensive in any way. It felt like chewing tiny pieces of bark and bits of plant matter. I only heaved once when I first started, and then settled down.
Tunnel vision sets in. I've been patiently waiting and battling nausea (letting my body know that it's only in my brain and there's no need to eject my guts). The monitor grew incredibly bright, almost offensively so. I decided to fuck off and lay down. I killed all the lights in the house except for my aquarium and crashed on the bed with a fresh glass of iced tea (no food at this point). I couldn't really describe what I was feeling, but if I had to pin it down, I'd say 'unease', I was tight rope walking between extremely tired and extremely nauseous, as well as a bit excited.
My body retreats into my head. All at once my brain is the only part of me that really exists. My stomach unease has elevated to a mild tremor somewhere in my head that I need not worry about. The music washes up from below and over top of me. I stare stupidly at my limbs and move about on my bed a bit, watching my fingers splay and clench in the rippling aquarium light, the angle and shadows made it look skeletal, which was extremely fascinating for some reason. I think I caused a fixation because I closed my eyes and was assaulted with flashing images of hands, scenes that flew by of hands. A giant hand made of tar clenching burning embers that is slowly sinking into lava, a giant hand clutching a rainbow over top of a mountain, etc. etc. This lasted for a few minutes until the mp3 player rolled over into 'Nice Dream' by Radiohead. For whatever reason the high pitched guitar sounds of the bridge conjured up the process of a guillotine, climbing, falling and cutting, over and over. I saw heads rolling away and thumping down in rains of blood. Although grisly, it wasn't discomforting in any way.
I felt welded to my computer chair as I tweaked the playlist options and and chatted with a friend. For some reason the lucidity really started to take hold here. I became transfixed with repeated keyboard motions and the way they appeared on screen and how they altered the sounds of words. The suffix -iddle as in exampliddle diddle, etc, as well a s t y p i n g l i k e t h i s, stuff of that nature, mundane but inexplicably amusing for whatever reason. During this time I think the climb was speeding up, the nausea was subsiding and my compacted feeling grew more and more intense, it now felt like my body was completely folded up and stuffed inside of my brain and it was shrinking as well to make my perspectives warped and narrow. I became completely aware of my breathing at that point and noticed I had trouble giving it back over to my subconscious when I was laying down. Several times I would exhale a great breath only to stop for a period of time and force myself to inhale another great breath.
The dark was not my friend. I crashed again, this time in total darkness and tried to get in tune with what was happening. I focused on whatever shapes my brain could pick out in the dark, something contrasted against a far wall looked like rabbit ears to me, so ethereal rabbits galloped and hopped along the floor away from me for an indeterminate amount of time. I had what I can only call 'camera vision', where my view of the world wasn't so smooth when my head moved and gave a jaunty, intense look, like the camera gimmick used in Saving Private Ryan.
Back in my computer chair, and this time I really couldn't leave, I felt like a blob of mercury. I grew really silent and even more lucid, pondering lots of situations in my life at the moment and talking very candidly with a friend of mine on MSN. My thoughts at that time aren't mine to know anymore and the message log isn't jogging anything, it was very disjointed and quick. The climb was speeding up, the battle with nausea had been won and my stomach unease melted away and left a pleasant warm feeling in the center of my perspective, like a terrible threat had been eliminated.
Back in the dark, but it was my friend this time. The warm feeling grew and intensified. I lay in the fetal position in my bed, comfortable and completely at ease, eyes shut, enjoying what felt and looked like a sunny summer afternoon. All at once I felt very very euphoric. The song was 'Race For The Prize' by The Flaming Lips, and I remember giggling to myself, unable to stop, the corners of my mouth almost ached from smiling so wide nonstop. The Flaming Lips melted away to Nina Persson and the feeling continued for several minutes, it felt like someone had flipped a light switch on in the middle of my soul. I returned to the computer, still unable to keep the shit eating grin off of my face. I felt like I was in the middle of a warm summer lake on a July afternoon. My body didn't even exist anymore, it was just background noise, I didn't have to will it to do anything, none of the familiar clumsiness or learned movements were there, none of the tiredness and ache of the day's end I had felt when I started consuming the seeds. It was like afterglow, like I had just came at the conclusion of some amazing act and the brain was patting me on the back.
Reality starts to gain more of an edge. Geometry and shapes come into extreme focus. The camera vision intensity increases and I can't move my head without seeing jagged lines normally smoothed by some unknown brain process. The music that was once overpowering and warm is now clunky and feels like a dulled metal cone being poked into my brain, very jarring and unpleasant. The headphones are discarded to the floor, my ears are sweaty, the comfortable warmth has turned uncomfortable. I think my AC has frozen up, but it still blows cool air, so my body heat rose. I know I'm coming down, and maybe a bit hard now.
Return to the darkness, which is no longer my friend, only it's not so dark, the dawn is coming and everything is amorphous shades of gray. Geometry returns with a vengeance, when my eyes close they are assaulted with images of lines and squares and repeating patterns of black and white, that seem designed to offend ones sense of vision and play tricks on it. They swirl and dance and spin, endlessly black and white, perfectly angled and lacking any sense of design or aesthetic value, only pattern and motion.
I am unable to reconcile my brain speed with the speed of time. I was utterly devastated, confused, and infuriated by what I perceived to be the entirely too slow passage of time. The geometric assault had ended and gave way to a racing brain that would not calm under any circumstances. I would lay for what felt like hours, only to chance a glance at the clock and see that a mere 2 minutes had passed, and each time the schism seemed to grow longer. I was sure I had been laying with eyes closed, mind racing nonstop for what felt like days and only a minute had passed, each time made me more angry than the last. I thought it was an illusion or some cruel game, at that point I just wanted it to end, to feel normal again, and I knew I was not going to get it for some time.
The feeling of being trapped set in hard, like a purgatory of some kind. A pulsing throb was present in the back of my mind, like a spectroscope of obnoxious yellow and purple endlessly thumping and thumping behind my vision, accompanied by an auditory thrumbling pulse that sounded like mild static masking the 'hang up the phone retard' sound you get if you let the dial tone go on for too long. During one delirious attempt to sleep, I find myself eyes wide with my fingers dug far into the skin around my left eye, thinking only 'how fucked up would it be if I just ripped out my eye?', I felt a liquid drop roll down my cheek and scared myself into stopping, it was a tear, thankfully, though I thought it was blood.
I rambled nonsensically on the PC before shutting down for good and returning to bed. If I had to guess, I laid there for centuries and yet it was only 2 hours. During that time I tried everything to stop the racing, to realign myself with the natural world, and each one failed more spectacularly than the last. My body was dull, no physical stimuli, not even a forced joyless and pleasureless masturbation session that felt like it lasted a straight year would pierce the gyroscopic barrier of my brain zooming around my head.
It was fucking agonizing. I was worried that it would never end, that I stumbled over some tripwire in my brain and fucked it up for keeps. I grabbed 2 small bags of pretzels and munched on them robotically. I couldn't feel any saliva in my mouth, but it was present, and disorienting to me as I constantly felt like I needed to take a drink. I poured myself a tall glass of Sprite with lots of ice and held it like an elixir of life, my first drink in hours, I chanted to it with my eyes shut, thinking after the cool liquid went down my throat and settled into my stomach, it was going to dissolve the vile seeds in there and free me from my speeding prison, but it did nothing. I was still locked in tight. I try to sleep, but I'm entirely too wrapped up in thought and repeated body motions, I thought I must have dug bloody trenches into my feet with my toenails the way that I had wrung them together ceaselessly.
The speeding sensation began to slow, but my body was dulling more. I was no longer completely restless and unable to focus, the minutes melt away a bit faster. I became transfixed with my PSP, somehow getting Aladdin for the SNES loaded up. I became emotionally invested in Aladdin's struggle to find gems and apples and whatnot on the streets of Agrabah while dodging guards with swords and arrows. Feeling a bit sardonic, I decided to load up Brain Age for the NDS and give myself some tests. Remarkably, I did better on most of them than I had the day before when I first played it, though I attribute it to familiarity rather than anything else.
7:?? - 8:40 AM
Blessed be, I fell the fuck asleep. It's wearing off, thank god, thank god, just roll over and go back to sleep go back to sleep please.
?:?? AM - 2:45 PM
Time finally slows back down to normal. I felt like I had been through a wringer, though I woke up surprisingly refreshed and 'normal'. My body still felt a bit dull, it could have been a side affect of the nausea battle, I have no idea. Reality still had a bit of bite and edge to it, I lay down and watch TV most of the afternoon as everything slides back into normalcy, but not before being treated to a post trip first viewing of Star Wars: Episode III in which I concluded that Star Wars is the gayest shit ever and George Lucas is a hack.
Well, I wanted a trip, and that was what I got. Was it worth $21 and eating down the seeds? I'm not sure. The good bits are marred by the bad bits, and whether or not the entire experience was worth it as a whole, I can't really tell. If you told me you had 250 more seeds sitting around I wouldn't cram them down my throat today or tomorrow, but in the future I could see myself trying them again, and I'm definitely on board for stronger, more potent (and easier to ingest) hallucinogens as well. Open eye visuals were non-existent on the MG seeds and those are something I want to experience. This time was very intimate and introspective more than anything else, and though at the end nothing of any relevance was revealed to me, it still felt like a positive and interesting experience, despite the hours I spent in 'Time Hell' in the wee morning.
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