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Tunnel-Chasm-Vortex Thing
LSD
by Docellis
Citation:   Docellis. "Tunnel-Chasm-Vortex Thing: An Experience with LSD (exp64602)". Erowid.org. Dec 27, 2015. erowid.org/exp/64602

 
DOSE:
  repeated   LSD

BODY WEIGHT: 160 lb


I'm writing this not to describe a single acid trip, but my thoughts on the effects of many high dose trips. (usually between 4 and 8 hits). I had taken 1 or 1.5 hits several times with mild effects before going all out one night and blowing my mind with 8 hits. After reading other accounts I guess doing more than 4 might sound kind of irresponsible, but I generally never took less than 4. And this wasn't 'weak' acid, . . . which I found out after taking 'only' 2 tabs one one night, knowing my dad was coming by early the next morning. I was amazed at how hard I was still tripping only 2 hours before he was supposed to show up and ended up taking 2 valium just to try to come down a little, . . . which it did, a little.

So with low doses I had to wonder if I was tripping at all, . . . I wanted to go way past where there might be any 'doubt'. A friend of mine told me to take 3 or 4 if I really wanted to hallucinate. He told me he once saw a glass half-in/half-out of the floor, . . . and that he 'really saw it' . . . that was all the proof I needed. So I bought 20 hits, the first night I felt good and ready for it I took 8, and 45 minutes later was laughing hysterically at how the entire roof was moving, . . flowing, . . pulsing. From that point I regularly took between 4 and 8 hits, once or twice a month, and over a 3 or 4 year period. I'd twice bought around 100 hits so I was pretty serious.

I can never come close to describing just how amazing and intense an acid trip was for me. Another account I read did a pretty great job of it: he said it was like being in a room your whole life, only knowing that little room and nothing else, then you walk outside and everybody and everything is RIGHT THERE, waiting to greet you, . . . and everybody and everything is new and beautiful and great and you become one with them, and with everything. There was much more to it, but that's kind of the general idea. '

During an acid trip, I feel like I have moments where I know and understand everything there is to know and understand, but not really. I know and understand that too. Open eye hallucinations, where everything around you is flowing, pulsing into everything else. Closed-eye visuals where colors and shapes more beautiful than anything I've ever seen or imagined, become part of a tunnel I'm kaleidoscopically traveling though. Not just listening to music, or even hearing it, but SEEING it in it's physical form and color, and then feeling like I'm a part of it, . . . some kind of perfect sound. Colors, sounds, music, your surroundings, thoughts, memories, . . . everything, . . becomes just that, one 'thing', . . . nothing is 'separate' from anything else and IT'S VERY REAL.

Acid showed me this and explained it in a way that nothing else has been able to. Then I might start to wonder, and think, and laugh about myself, . . that I have a name that's a kind of word, which is made up of letters, and letters create words, . . and words are this silly, interesting way to communicate, and they're made up of letters, and each one has a shape and a sound, and they sometimes make different sounds when they're next to other letters, . . . . and sometimes they're just silent. And they've all been been invented for this funny, but very important reason, to communicate. Anyway, that's all just the beginning, . . there's MUCH MORE where that came from, and YES, IT WILL EVENTUALLY BLOW YOUR MIND. Believe it or not, someway, somehow, it happens.

I would lay down at this point and close my eyes. At this stage I was never able to 'think' about what was happening because 'thought' no longer existed. I wasn't able to think, I couldn't try to think, just experience. What I do remember is traveling million miles an hour through some kind of tunnel-chasm-vortex thing. The tunnel is somehow made up of everything in the universe and I was a part of it, or maybe I WAS it. Anyway, this went on for maybe a minute or so until the walls of the tunnel-thing started to close in and wrap around each other, becoming smaller and smaller until there's almost nothing, and then it explodes. That's a very basic description, but when it happens it's a kind of absolute perfection, in a way that you can't imagine or begin to understand until it's happening. And it doesn't last for very long, maybe a minute, but it's not supposed to, . . and I'm perfectly OK with that too. After this out-of-body feeling, I would eventually open my eyes and get up and walk around with my hands on my head, saying thing out loud to myself like 'OH MY GOD', 'YOU HAVE G-O-T TO BE KIDDING', and 'WHAT JUST HAPPENED?'.

This would go on for a few minutes until I would kind of 'ease' back into my trip. Everything is now even more amazing than it was 5 minutes ago, . . . but by now I might have to think a little about what's going on around me, maybe to try ask myself why things are SO different. Is it because I took 'acid'? THAT'S IT, i took 'ACID', . . . but WHAT'S 'acid' and who or what AM I? This was a response to try to hang onto reality, the one I was used to.

This is probably a good time to mention setting. Taking more than a few hit of LSD you'd better in a good state of mind and in a very good setting. I was about 23, 24 at the time, and felt pretty secure and comfortable with who I was. I lived in a 2nd story loft that I shared with my brother. It was a safe building in the middle of downtown Los Angeles, so I never expected any visitors. I would sometimes make calls to family or friends and say that I was going away for the next day or two, . . . to tijuana or something. I would also tell my brother, who lived in his own giant loft, IN OUR giant loft, that I was going to take a lot of LSD, so to just 'bear with me' if I start tripping too hard, . . . that I might occasionally venture out of my room and into his, . . . and basically to just not pay any attention to me. He always trusted me judgment and seemed to understand how important his role was in all of this. For the first year or so, I only tripped in my room, . . . the thought of actually being around other people while on LSD on high doses seemed like complete insanity to me, 'sitter' or not it still does.

I eventually moved into a guest-house in a big backyard where I was able to move around outside a little bit. There was of course millions of different possibilities outside. Clouds became even more amazing, pixelated, extruded cube-shaped, pulsing things. Trees were breathing, stretching their limbs, . . . the ground and grass undulating like water, moving in easy, gradual waves, . . . breathing also, or maybe the tree and the ground are breathing together, which is what I'm doing, . . . breathing, . . and maybe we're all just breathing together. OK, NOW what's happening, . . . 'acid' i took 'acid' and I'm 'tripping'. Or is 'acid' something I take to go 'back' to the the world I came 'from'? 'I', . . . what's going on, . . WHAT AM I, . . . and again, this is where I might start to question 'reality', and try to hang onto it, or maybe just let go of it?

I generally took 6 hits of acid. 8 if I felt bold, 4 if I felt even a little uneasy about anything. There was definitely a difference 4 and 6, and 6 and 8 tabs. I took more than 8 just once, when I took 12. I only took that many because it was all I had left and I thought it might be something new or different, which it wasn't. No complaints, it just didn't seem any different to me than taking 8 hits. This was the last time I took acid and that was about 8 years ago.

Acid helped me to understand what was and is important to me. It helped me to erase a lot of doubts, guilts and fears. I never had a bad trip, but had MANY terrifying, paranoid thoughts, . . usually as a result of watching any kind of tv, . . especially infomercials or a hard-core religious, tele-vangelist type program. Everybody just looked so fake, with tons of makeup, and saying ridiculous, obvious things, . . . . people don't REALLY believe this guy's for real, WAIT, YES THEY DO!! I used to wonder if these 'TV' people are some kind of crazy race of robots, grown on some weird farm somewhere and out of the ground as the characters they play. Then I would start thinking about the government and wild conspiracy stuff, but would usually turn away or try to focus on something else before I got too caught up in the weirdness.

I always remember LSD kicking in at 45 minutes, like clockwork. From that point to maybe 5 or 6 hours later always seemed like the 'peak' zone, where anything might happen if I was open to it. And for the next few hours after that I would still be tripping but without the insane, 'out of body' thoughts, feelings and possibilites. The next day I always felt mentally exhausted. Like my brain had just ran a 26-mile marathon that it had only trained about 2 miles for. I always tried to avoid anybody and stay inside. There was always something going on during those 'next days', but my mind just couldn't keep up anymore, . . and was probably ducking for cover. By 2 days later I always felt perfectly 'normal', ready to go to work, deal with people or whatever else.

One quick thing about tolerance, I would usually wait a few weeks or a month before using acid again. I once did 8 tabs after doing that same number one week earlier, and it 'only' had the effect of 2, or maybe 4 hits, so I never did that again. A month always seemed like a good waiting period.

So, to sum it all up, 4-8 hits of LSD, 2 days, good music, as safe and controlled a setting as possible, without the possibility of too many surprises, having a brother in the next room, . . . it led to some of the best experiences of my life, and it helped to to fully appreciate and be even more grateful for my family and friends, thoughts, memories and possibilities I have in this life here. I always felt like I was given a chance to know and understand some of life's most beautiful and amazing mysteries. This information was a gift, and it was up to me to use it, somehow, to live better, be happier, contribute, to grow and to be better, freer. I haven't done acid in years but just found out about the power of salvia and mushrooms. I'm definitely at the beginning of the next chapter of my life and I'm looking forward to it.

Exp Year: 1996ExpID: 64602
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Dec 27, 2015Views: 2,369
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LSD (2) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Glowing Experiences (4), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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