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Life Is Beautiful
Morning Glory
by Excelsior
Citation:   Excelsior. "Life Is Beautiful: An Experience with Morning Glory (exp64488)". Erowid.org. Nov 14, 2007. erowid.org/exp/64488

 
DOSE:
500 seeds oral Morning Glory (extract)

BODY WEIGHT: 140 lb


Introduction:

Several months before the experience this report is about, I first became interested in psychoactives in a serious way. I was ‘introduced’ by way of a friend named J. His own fascination with the occult had lead him to read about DMT, and as we discussed it, we decided we were going to take the plunge (I think it was the descriptions of liquid seas of flesh and fellatio performing machine-elves that won us over, but I digress.) We also decided that an important intermediate step was to try something both a little less intense and a little easier to get. It culminated with a strange 24 hour experience involving a fist sized wad of Salvia held in my mouth that left me seeing cartoon characters (an intriguing first experience with a mind-altering substance, but not the subject of this report), followed some hours later by both of us munching down 250 morning glory seeds that left him babbling on about the non-linearity of time for 8 hours but just left me feeling nauseous.

In the weeks that followed, I realized that the mild trance I experienced on Salvia was really not that far removed from a dream, and the morning glory seeds had not caused any peculiar effect in me. The anti-septic, perfectly rational and empirical view of the world that I held withstood the test, I was confident that my grasp on reality was unshakable and that this whole ‘hallucination’ thing was nonsense. Determined to see if, under any conditions, I could really ‘shake my shit up’, I decided one last battery of tests, this time solo.

Pre-preparation:

Having obtained some dry Salvia leaf, some 5x Salvia extract, and 1200 morning glory seeds, I first tried smoking the Salvia leaf, which did nothing and tasted awful. Surprised at this result, I tried to replicate my earlier experience, which I was sure would work, but taking Salvia sublingually did nothing this time. Lastly, I smoked the 5x Salvia extract, and beyond some minor distortions of subjective time, nothing happened with this either. I was thoroughly disappointed, through the looking glass there was nothing and the world was more bland and colorless for it. The last weapon I had in my arsenal were the little, innocuous black seeds. I must have been, subconsciously at the least, entirely convinced that when I took them nothing would happen, or I’m sure I would have taken much better precautions.

Preparation:

Originally I intended to perform a cold-water extraction on the seeds, as this was reportedly a good way to avoid the nausea I had suffered extremely from during the first go-round. The guide I read suggested 500 seeds as an ordinary dose. Measuring out approximately this many, I proceeded to grind them up to a chunky powder using a coffee grinder. It was at this point that I realized the tea-bag I had prepared (as this method suggests holding the seed-material in a bag suspended in cold, distilled water, allowing the psychoactive constituents to egress from the seed material into the water, and the nausea causing plant matter to be disposed of) was too small, so I decided to just grind the seeds into a fine powder and place them in the water, and drink them down in entirety.

This was a mistake! A website lists 400 seeds as a very strong dose, and because I was not only ingesting the seeds but ingesting liquid that contained extracted LSA (the guide I used suggested 500 as an ordinary dose because inherently some of the LSA is lost with this kind of low-quality extraction) so I was really pushing my luck with this amount, and if I had stopped to think for a moment, or taken my substance more seriously, I would not have gone ahead as I did. This is the one point where I will get preachy: even though (if you manage to read through the rest of this report) my experience turned out to be extremely overwhelmingly positive, it could have very easily gone the other way with such a dose, especially since I did not have a sitter and I was planning on tripping while my parents were in the house, secure in my room. I got lucky even though I was stupid, please don’t make my mistakes.

Moving along, I prepared the five-hundred seeds worth of morning glory powder in a 17 fl. oz. water bottle, which I placed in the refrigerator for seven hours. The resulting fluid looked (and ultimately tasted like) sandy water.

Dosing:

At this point it is 8:30 pm on July 26th. I prepare a small notepad with a pen in case I feel creative, along with Pinchbeck’s “2012”, which I normally found mind-numbingly inane, but I thought might get better under the influence, and Kurzweil’s “The Singularity is Near” which is fantastic and grew increasingly the subject of my trip (even though I never read them during the trip, as I had, perhaps naively, intended.) These articles I placed at the foot of the bed on a small table. I drink down the liquid, and though not at all what one would call pleasant, it is certainly bearable. My over all mindset is positive, and I am generally in a good mood and feeling healthy and excited, even if very skeptical.

The Trip:
T+0:10 [8:40]
At this point all hell breaks loose. The first time I took morning glory seeds it was two hours before I even felt a little queasy, and that was on what a website lists as a moderate dose of 250 seeds. All of a sudden I feel numbness/pins-and-needles all over my face, head, and neck, with a slight weight on my arms reminiscent of Salvia. I run to the bathroom to find that my eyes are completely dilated. I get a little nervous. This is way too much, way too fast, I hadn’t expected this at all, expecting something only marginally more interesting than my first “trip” at most. Panicky, I hastily make a post on my favorite psychedelic related forums, asking if anyone else had such a rapid reaction before. However, I knew help through the internet wasn’t going to come soon enough. A little grim, I shut off the computer and retreated to my room. I told everyone that I had an upset stomach and was going to turn in early (this would become truth later on!) I lay down on my bed and turned on my lava lamp, keeping the lights on. I try to remain calm and enjoy the strange tingling sensation.

T+0:30 [9:00]
My girlfriend, S, calls. She has no idea what’s going on and tries to talk to me normally. I initially attempt to go with the flow and have a conversation with her, but my nausea and bizarre feeling grows and it becomes apparent that I will not be able to continue talking. I tell her that I think I ate some under cooked meat and that I’m sick and should go to sleep. After she hangs up I feel bad for lying to her, but there was no other way (if you ever read this, I’m sorry!) Our conversation lasted about thirty minutes, and once I no longer have to concentrate on what she is saying and am able to listen to my body again, I realize things are changing further.

T+1:00 [9:30]
When J had his morning glory experience, which I was able to observe more-or-less lucidly, he had a very distinct and all-encompassing inability to stay attentive to anything, and indeed any string of thought longer than two or three seconds was impossible and dissolved in a greater sea of thought. At this point I begin to experience this sensation very distinctly with the first decision I have to make: should I leave the light on or turn it off? If I leave the light on, people will presume I’m awake and may come to try and talk to me (bad), but if I turn it off I suddenly grow very frightened and paranoid. I decide to turn it off and just relax to calm my fear, deciding (incredibly rationally for the time) that the fear of someone coming in, finding me with eyes blown open and totally delirious, resulting in a trip to the emergency room, a stern lecture on drug use, distrust from my family, and basically the destruction of my current status quo was much more significant than the monsters in my mind.

As I lay down and tried to relax, I stared up at the ceiling. The room was bathed in a red glow from the lava-lamp, and this is when I began exhibiting enhanced powers of imagination. The red glowing, small bedroom seemed to me a womb (cliché, I know) and my rebirth was taking place. This was an entertaining thought, however, at this point it was just that, a thought, I did not believe it was actually true.

T+1:15 [9:45]
I kept staring up at the ceiling, and suddenly I began to feel this overwhelming euphoric sensation, unlike I had ever felt before. It was accompanied by a sense of intense power. I shook my fists against the red ceiling and repeated audibly “I did it! I won! This is great! This is wonderful!” I paced around the room for a few moments feeling ecstatic and triumphant, I had indeed broken through to some alternate plane, and it was just beginning! During this period I variously marveled at the level of dilation of my eyes in a mirror, laughed uncontrollably and inexplicably, and touched and pulled on my face for interesting, tingly physical sensations.

T+1:30 [10:00]
The first trip to the bathroom during the course of the night, I sit on the toilet peeing for what feels like eternity, I am slightly intimidated by the sight of the metal faucet in the tub. My mind immediately makes a connection with this steel phallus and mine as I urinate, and it’s an unsettling sensation. Also, I become aware of the perception that beyond the small four walls of the bathroom, there is actually nothing but void and it is floating in an empty universe. This concept, which is, again, at this point more of an idea than a subjective reality, is as intriguing as it is disturbing. On uncertain legs I return to my room.

T+1:45 [10:15]
In the midst of my mirth, I decided it would be a good idea to take some precautions and let someone on the outside know of my condition in case things turned for the worst. The only friend I could think of who would be available and agreeable with my situation was B, so I gave him a call. Here it is important to note a massive disconnect with my subjective experience of time and the objective reality of it, as evidenced both by what B later told me of our phone conversation, and of the call log in my cell phone (my cell phone too became increasingly a subject of the trip, as an important symbol of communication and connection to others.) As I experienced it and recall it, I called him up, and after very brief pleasantries I told him I was kind of in a bad way, that I needed him to be available if I started to freak out, and that in the worst case to be prepared to call for an ambulance, but made it clear that I was not freaking out at the moment (the euphoric feelings were still dominant) that this was amazing, and to be sure to call me back periodically through the night to ensure nothing bad happened to me.

Subjectively, the call lasted at most five minutes. However, according to the call log I actually spoke with B for 47 minutes, and as he relates it our conversation was mostly composed of me mumbling incoherently, yelling that ‘I’m freaking out!’ or ‘I took to much man!’, and him trying to convince me to drink water, which I resisted. Apparently, towards the end of the conversation I said that I was going to try to sleep it off, and made him promise to call me before he went to sleep. Definitely through the looking glass territory now.

T+2:30 [11:00]
Second urination of the night. The need to go so often seems unusual to me and adds to my confusion and I begin to take this as evidence that reality actually has been destroyed. At this point these thoughts are no longer just thoughts but increasingly the truth. While I’m in the bathroom I am fully convinced that it is all that remains of the universe, that there is nothing beyond the four walls, and I am horrified to go back through the door and back into my room. I also become concerned that time is becoming non-linear.

T+2:45 [11:15]
I became seriously concerned that I was going to permanently lose my mind, or at the very least end up in a mental hospital. I tried to read some of “2012” to calm myself, but the words seem strange and corrosive (that’s the only way I can describe it, it was an actual visceral sensation) so I opened up “The Singularity is Near” which calmed me much more. Note, however, that it was merely the act of opening the book that did so, and I found myself quite unable to actually read more than a sentence. (As an interesting aside, I began to increasingly believe that reality, as it was, no longer existed. To put this to the test, I tried a trick I saw on Star Trek. In several episodes, Data [The android starfleet officer with superhuman machine abilities, but also a ‘soul’, for those who don’t know] is able to read a whole book just by flipping through the pages in a second. Amusingly, I attempted this and honestly believed I would be able to read the whole book in one second. It was actually rather reassuring when I realized I had read nothing.) Growingly concerned that I would end up in some sort of hospital, or perhaps found convulsing in a delirious state by my parents, I decided the only prudent thing to do was to write a note on the pad I had brought with me to doodle on. What follows is as accurate of a rendering of what I wrote as I can give, as it is almost entirely illegible.

I should also note that while I was writing this I had the strange sensation that I was being guided by a force to write these words, as these were thoughts that I had never had, or at least considered at length before, certainly not to the extent that I would feel it necessary to write them in a note to those who found me.

report
+2:45- it’s awesome
question of the hour
someth
SOMETHING IS HAPPE
in general, positive feeling. Definately. It’s like my brain is fighting with itself
Is this what they meant by Dual Processors?*
overall Im not SCARED
Its incredi
Don’t think badly of Me
B.T.W.
if some one ELSE
finds this go to www.erowid.com
I took 500 morning glory seeds.
LSA is the active ingredient
IT IS NOT TOXIC
IT IS A chemical analogue of LSD
The LD50 of LSA is very high.
No ONE has ever died from overdose LSD.
It’s a very common misconception that you can.
Always check facts!
The truth can sometimes be hard to find
Im sorry if this upsets anyone.
People take all kinds of Drugs without thinking about it.
Caffeine, Alcohol, tobacco
Who has done research on these?
Typical
druggie
failure
I did
this for
science
not hedonism

*this is a reference to a experience report I read online concerning amantis mushrooms, however, in my state I thought it was a morning glory report

Even though I’m transcribing these notes almost a month after the experience, it is still very disturbing, almost inexplicably so, to read the notes. They have the exact same air around them as a suicide note, at least to me.

Some interpretation may be in order. As can be seen, my overall feelings at the time were very positive, at least early on. It is important to note that at some point, half way through writing the note, my mom knocked on the door. It tore me out of the daze-like state I was in and I’m sure I couldn’t have looked more like a deer caught in the headlights if I tried. I scrambled to hide the note. She was looking for the portable house phone, which I had brought into my room. I looked everywhere all around me for it, and could not find it, even though it was directly beside me. She had to point it out for me to notice it. I gave it to her and even though she tried to convince me to come out and get something to eat, I continued with the undercooked meat lie and after a moment she left. This unsettling experience may be the cause of the shift in tone from positive to negative around the middle of the note.
As I mentioned earlier, when I was writing this note I felt like it was out of my control, in particular I had the notion that these ideas, specifically the ones about the nature of drug use, were ‘encoded’ in the LSA molecules, had been downloaded into my mind, and the LSA was using me like a machine to replicate these ideas, ostensibly to get more people to take LSA, like some kind of bastard selfish gene. This idea would grow and grow as the trip continued.

Finally, notice many of the lines sound almost like a suicide note (‘Don’t think badly of me’ ‘I’m sorry if this upsets anyone’) which indicates how grim I was feeling at this point in the trip: I was certain that this would either precipitate me being taken to a psych ward, or, increasingly, the end of the physical universe. Despite how awful this may sound, once I finished writing the note I felt a lot better.

T+3:00 [11:30]
I decide I need to hide the note. It’s extremely difficult to decide where to put it. It feels literally like my thoughts are a ping pong ball being endlessly bounced back and forth, unable to get anywhere, the first shades of ego-death. I visualize this as a decahedron slowly turning, trying to orient on one axis but then unable to, slowly turning back, but then unable, caught in an eternal loop. This image is in my mind’s eye but also seems to be present in my actual visual field. I won’t call it an actual open-eyed hallucination, but it was somewhere in between. After about ten minutes, I find a suitable place.

T+3:10 [11:40]
This is where things get really hairy. As I said earlier to B, I consider that I should try to go to sleep. Desperate for human contact, all I can do is turn on the radio at a low volume. As I lay down and began to close my eyes, I suddenly throw them open. If I go to sleep, that’s exactly what LSA wants, then I will completely enter the world of my mind and I will be destroyed. Therefore, I try to stay awake, however, the physical upsetting sensations are growing. It’s very hard to describe: I didn’t feel pain or discomfort in any part of my body, I just felt bad in an indescribable way. I lean over to try and throw up into a trash can beside the bed, but am unable to. As I lean over, it feels like my face is dripping off like a liquid into the trash can, Salvador Dali style. This is very disturbing and I lay back down. As before, my brain fights against itself trying to determine what to do, the decahedron turning and turning, but never able to align properly and allow me to reach a decision. Finally, I decide to go to sleep and do so instantly.

T+3:20 [11:50]
But not for long. I wake up in excruciating agony of a type that can only be described as both physical and psychological simultaneously, and neither, all at once. A rainbow colored shifting, organic, moiré-like pattern is laid over my eyes, and my radio, which was once spouting the purposefully non-threatening oldies station now emits alien, synthetic music. Every object vibrates and every pattern moves. Thoughts are racing through my mind, but are unable to get anywhere, bouncing off of each-other. The consist of four competing elements:

-This is a bad trip! I’m having a horrible bad trip and I’m going to be permanently insane! The real universe has been destroyed and I’m going to end up in a psych ward! All my hopes and dreams for the future are lost forever! (This whole concept becomes encapsulated in the mumbled words ‘bad trip’)

-It’s going to be ok. Even if the old universe was destroyed YOU STILL EXIST. As long as you exist there is hope. Even if in the new universe you’re in a psych ward or anywhere else, if you’re happy, if you can still experience pleasure you’ll be ok. As long as you still exist there is still a chance to be happy and experience pleasure, and as long as that is possible everything else is superfluous. (This whole concept becomes encapsulated in the mumbled words ‘hedonistic imperative’)

-I have to go and tell them! I have to tell them drugs are horrible and that you should never take them! Specifically, I have to tell S that I am sorry I ever took drugs and I have to work the whole rest of my life to make sure no one else ever does either!

-The old universe has been permanently lost so you might as well make the best of it. Even though the ordinary, rational world no longer exists it has been replaced by this new, magical world. Rejecting what you’re experiencing now is just being stubborn.

For the next 25 minutes I struggle with this difficult thoughts while trying to go back to sleep. I am in extreme pain of an indescribable sort and this is undoubtedly the most negative part of the trip. All the while the image of the decahedron grows in detail and in ‘open-eyedness.’ What was originally just a vague perception is now very clear: as a thought grows it starts out as a single triangle, with liquid metallic spheres at the points connected by thick (the radius of the spheres across, I would say) cylinders. The cylinders which made up the triangle would shift through the color spectrum in an orderly, slow pattern. As a thought grew other triangles would be added to the first and start to rotate more and more quickly as my logic in one of the four arguments grew, until I reached a counter-point, at which time the shape would violently spin and shrivel back into a single triangle. This shape was floating over an amorphous, dark rainbow colored sea and in between the sea and the triangles were miniscule swimming, living squiggles of light. This whole configuration was key to the overall trip so I will refer to it from here on as ‘the thought triangles.’ Finally, my conflicting thought processes, which I initially perceived to be dual in nature, or antagonistic to one another, evolved during this period into a unified, continuous thought interaction/reaction, creation/rejection. I perceived the visual of the thought triangles as the actual interior space of my mind.

T+3:45 [12:15]
Keeping with his promise, B calls me. I am in a complete trance and the sound of the phone is startling. In particular, the sound of the ringtone I have set to him seemed to spill into the acoustic space that was on either side of the phone call, growing with and becoming a part of the ubiquitous alien music. He asks me if I’m ok and I am mostly unable to respond, I say something like ‘Yea, I’m going to be ok, I was asleep and I’m going to go back to sleep.’ he says ‘That’s good. At least you didn’t die.’ However, I don’t feel nearly as confident as I let on. He hangs up and I put my head back down. After this point I was both unable to keep track of the time and time is meaningless.

-Into the Infinite

This part will be the most difficult of all to describe. First of all, despite how firmly I believed in the rational, empirical world alone before this experience, and especially this part, now I cannot say for certain if what I learned in this part is real and true, or if this world I’m in now is real and true, or both, or neither, or if concepts like ‘reality’ and ‘truth’ are meaningless. I know it’s psychedelic cliché, but it’s only a cliché because it’s what happens to a lot of users. Furthermore, it also has a lot to do with my own personal beliefs and thoughts, the descriptions of which I will try to keep as brief as possible while adequately describing the experience. I also extensively edited down this version of this section from the original.

The whole universe exploded in my mind at once! As the thought triangle spun furiously, this image was also overlaid with the image of a great and expanding sphere, the unending sphere of human thought. It was the human consciousness, at once is was both the consciousness of everyone in the world and of just me (furthermore, my ego had completely dissolved, I was an exterior observer of subjective events happening in my own mind, unable to act, only to be in awe), and it was expanding and expanding and filling the whole universe, infinitely and eternally growing. The thought sphere was a growing physical phenomenon that contained all human minds, and it’s growth was causing every human consciousness to grow to perfect human godliness beyond even god himself. Mind you, this was not just some off hand concept, this was as real to me then as writing this report is to me now.

At this point I began to experience the extra dimensions sometimes reported with LSD use. I experienced a new dimension of time: I existed now in the world of the Singularity, the moment at which the whole human race evolves into the realm free of the physical, where I was the ever expanding human consciousness that existed for eternity at the end of time, and I was also everything else that had happened to me the day before, every single interaction or event was some final closure or the last necessary bit of revelation of the cosmic order, of meaning and of human nature. Everything had infinite and perfect meaning and it was the last piece necessary for the human race’s/my ultimate transformation into the divine Thought sphere. I was also fully aware that when I woke up there would still be a world there, and that I would still experience the remainder of the history of universe in between June 26th and the moment at the infinite end of the universe I was at right then. This made perfect sense to me.

Suddenly my mind was torn back to my body. The mundane red womb of a room seemed inadequate, I wanted to return to the infinite reality. I began trashing my body, it was a purely frantic, chaotic, and sexual motion, like the universe was fucking me (and fucking is the only appropriate word, the feeling was extremely violent, but righteous and loving violence, like rough sex) and I was fucking the universe all at once. I thrashed (it felt more like whole-body vibration subjectively) my head up and down into the pillow at an increasingly fast speed until it seemed to me that my head and my body was moving at infinite speed, and as it did so the reality of the room was torn back, and suddenly I found myself (not my physical body, only a singular point of perception) in wet sand, as on a beach. I could taste and smell and see it perfectly vividly. I knew, without a doubt, that it was in this wet sand that the first DNA molecule formed, where life began.

Satisfied with the beginning of life, I returned to its infinite end (again, these sensations were not like thoughts or notions, but absolutely real) and began to wonder, just why was it that I was the subject of the evolution of humanity into pure thought, the Singularity. The thought entered my mind that perhaps the earth had been destroyed, and that the scientists on earth at that time were able to preserve the entire life and subjective experience of one person in a probe sent out into space, and the chose me either because it was actually a future version of myself who was the scientist who made that decision, or I was found to be an individual perfectly like the human race, a human among humans (again, I felt like my consciousness was melting with a consciousness made up of all the humans in the world.) This probe was later found by an alien race, and they were scanning it and running the program of my life, and that is what I was experiencing now.

However, I began to feel that this was unlikely, that it was more likely that I was not the ‘subject’ of the evolution of humanity any more than anyone else was- we each experienced our lives up to a certain point to give us every revelation we needed about human nature and the universe, and then the meaning of every seemingly insignificant transaction, and how it helped us develop to our final evolution is revealed, and then we merge with the infinite human consciousness. This led me to consider that perhaps my whole life had just been a simulation inside the great thought sphere at the infinite end of time. Ultimately, it was irrelevant, in that realm there was only transcendent, infinite joy for an incomprehensible amount of non-time.

I awoke at ten o’ clock the next morning. The moiré pattern was still persistent, as was the alien music. The transcendent joy was gone and I was deeply concerned that my thrashing in the bed had alerted my parents to my condition, and surely they were on the phone right then to see about my admittance. However, I realized it didn’t matter. No matter what happened, if I was happy, everything was all right. Even if this reality wasn’t the original reality, or if the original reality never even existed, it was all right, as long as I was happy. I laid in bed until two o’ clock, watching the patterns behind my eyes, which was now an infinite flat field of interconnected pyramids, shaped like the triangles of earlier, with pyramids rolling over them and connecting into them, always growing. I experienced a curious mixture of paranoia and contentment. My main concern was that my brain had been permanently damaged and that somehow my cognitive abilities had been lessened. This fear abated over time.

As I sat and thought, my final revelation came to me, a thought returned from the beginning of the transcendent state: what is the nature of the universe? Does this universe exist in my mind, and my mind is actually the universe, or does this universe exist, and my mind is made up of particles in the universe, and therefore my mind exists in the universe? Was my mind the hardware or the software? I realized both were true: reality was both a transcendent state in my mind and the physical, tangible, empirical reality around us. They are not antagonistic concepts, they work together. There were other revelations, on subjects such as how my mind connects to my body, how everything in the universe is either an thinking entity or a corporeal manifestation of thought used to effect changes in the thoughts of other thinking entities, with an accompanying history of the evolution of the universe, but I won’t go into these ideas.

Eventually I got enough courage to walk out of my room. Everything was strange and I was still on unsteady legs. I took a hot shower and it was incredibly pleasurable. I laid on the couch all day and watched tv, and every single little thing I saw was imbued with perfect meaning. Whenever I interacted with people, I felt like I had this perfect empathy, that I knew exactly what they were thinking and feeling, and what they hoped to accomplish with each action. People seemed to fragile and beautiful and I was overcome with intense compassion. I kept rolling the word ‘Samadhi’ around in my head, referencing the Hindu meditative state, which I felt I had attained. I had a persisting visual of myself, walking through the house, my eyes wide open and pouring out bright iridescent color, and the surfaces of the house replaced by shimming golden rainbow colors. On a more mundane note, my hands shook uncontrollably and I found it very difficult to type or do any complex manual task, and my sense of unreality continued for the whole rest of the day.

About mid-day, ‘A’ called me and we had an ordinary conversation, and it was extremely refreshing for things to be so ordinary and down-to-earth for a change. I also spoke to B, and tried to impress upon him how incredibly, immensely grateful I was for his help, and how he very well may have saved my life or sanity. At some point later in the day, S called, and talking to her was an extremely wonderful experience. I felt intense feelings of pure, ecstatic romantic love such as I have felt only felt a few times before. When I went to sleep in my room the following day, at +28 hours, I still saw a mild moiré pattern over my eyes, and could vaguely hear the alien music. I was also horrified of the room. Only gradually did I come to no longer fear the night in the room.

The next morning, most disturbances of normal reality had subsided. From time to time I would feel, for an instant, like I was slipping back into the alternate reality, accompanied by an uncomfortable brief flash of ego-dissolution. This continued intermittently for a few weeks, but it never lasted more than a second and did not disturb my ordinary life. It has almost completely subsided at this point.

In conclusion, absolutely incredible. Beyond anything. While I am hesitant to label a drug experience as the most wonderful moment of my life, it was certainly the most transformative single event in my life. I feel much more content with life and myself, everything seems wonderful and life seems full of infinite, beautiful possibilities and realities. I am extremely afraid of death now, as I am so deeply in love with life, whereas before I was kind of apathetic about everything. All in all, though it was a difficult experience to say the least, I much prefer this magical, colorful, beautiful reality to the dull one that existed before. Having no real point of reference, I am hesitant to label it a ++++, but it sure feels that way. Hopefully I’ll reach a time soon where I feel I am ready to return to the infinite end of the universe, this time in a more comfortable setting.

Always remember, life is beautiful! Good luck!

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 64488
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Nov 14, 2007Views: 41,716
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Morning Glory (38) : Alone (16), Glowing Experiences (4)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the individual authors who submit them.
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