Citation: Misfit138. "Saved My Life: An Experience with Methadone (exp64142)". Erowid.org. Sep 24, 2009. erowid.org/exp/64142
I will skip how I got onto MMT (Methadone Maintanence Treatment) since that isn't the point here. The program I got on had me go to 3 day a week 3 hour a day group meetings with a counselor. Plus I got my methadone which I started at 30mg and went to 175mg. I have since come down to 145mg. I can tell you that when I started I had nothing to my name, no car, license suspended, debt like crazy, but I did have a BS in Chemistry and a partial PhD from Princeton which I had to withdraw from due to cancer. But basically I had nothing.
I went to the groups (it was mandatory) and took my juice and in my group it wasn't a 3 hour waste of time, luckily we actually had a counselor who had been through doing dope and had been on MMT for 18 months and had 10 years clean. He knew how we felt and what we had been through. He basically changed my way of thinking about how to approach situations and things like that. Basically he saved my life and after going for about one year, he felt that I was ready to just be medicated without going to the meetings. I was sad to leave because that had become almost my crutch to lean on when things got rough. I can never thank him enough for the help he gave me. I know he would say it wasn't him, it was just that this time I was ready to get clean and he happened to be there, but he played a huge part in it.
Anyhow, it took some time but I started the MMT in Jan 05 with absolutely nothing. I was living in a motel paid for by the state, collecting state money, food stamps and health insurance. After struggling slowly facing one thing at a time I managed to get my license back and got a car (nothing fancy I am saving for a corvette or the new camaro). I have a job as the senior chemist making serious money which I have managed to save a little of for emergencies. I actually have gotten my life back as a productive member of society. I moved in temporarily with my dad until I can find my own place but I pay rent here and pay for food, etc. I am living like a normal person should but thinking back I can remember thinking I had dug a hole so deep I couldn't ever get out. It seemed impossible. I remember getting a little money here and there and spending it on dope because my thinking was this isn't enough to fix my problems but I can buy some dope and I won't have any problems.
I can tell you I still have things to fix like debts and other things like that but without MMT I would not be able to do any of those things. For those who say I just exchanged one habit for another, you are insane. On MMT I go once a week (I had to earn this right) and pick up all of my methadone for the week. I have a job, pay taxes, and I don't spend all day worried about my habit. On dope I spent a ton of money, couldn't work since I was either nodded out or too sick to get out of bed and I was far from being a normal tax-paying citizen. MMT is a gift to those who use it like it is supposed to be used. It is an opiate so yes I am dependent on it. The difference is I can come down at a rate I want to when and if I want to.
Right now I am happy and healthy. I hold a great job making great money and soon I will be looking to buy a home and the car of my dreams. I had nothing handed to me and the stuff I managed to obtain I lost all of it. So now I appreciate things much more. I am glad I can go to the store and buy something I like. I appreciate everything so much more because I had it once and lost it. I will not lose it again and if I have to stay on MMT for the rest of my life to do it I will. But I take things one day at a time. I hope maybe this helped someone. Obviously there are a lot of details left out, but how I ended up addicted isn't important, it is how I got myself out that is important.
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