Citation: Nathan. "Pure Chaos: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp63319)". Erowid.org. Oct 18, 2007. erowid.org/exp/63319
Everything I say in this report is maybe a million times under exaggerated. The feeling of a salvia trip is beyond words, the state of consciousness I entered is literally the opposite of what my rational mind will have me believe is reality, therefore there are really no words that can properly describe a salvia trip. But there’s one that comes pretty damn close: chaos.
I had been experimenting with various psychedelic drugs for a couple weeks before this trip. I had done Salvia twice before, THC (Cannabis), Psilocybin (Magic Mushrooms), LSA (Morning Glory Heavenly Blue Seeds) and I had been experimenting with both lucid dreaming and sleep deprivation. All my experiences with psychedelic “tripping” had been completely positive and I had become generally used to the psychedelic feeling of mind expansion to the point of where I could function almost completely normally when on a substance. My prior experiences with salvia had been generally light, especially when compared to the following trip, and euphoric with closed-eye visuals and an intense body high, an almost drunk feeling with an obvious presence of DXM style dissociation.
Everything in my life was pretty happy, I was happy with my self and the people I associated myself with. I had been having mild mood swings the week prior but nothing completely out of the ordinary was bothering me. I had also smoked marijuana and sniffed 30 mg of Dexedrine and around 30 mg of a chemical compound similar to Dexedrine but effective in the dopamine release in your brain. Because of this I had a mild chemical burn in my nose and restlessness before I went into the trip.
It was a cloudy day, not my ideal day for a psychedelic trip (I find the sunnier the better). We were in a small kind of clearing of nice, fresh grass with bushes on either side of us. It was between 1:45 and 2:30 that all the trips happened, mine being at around 2:00 – 2:10. There were seven of us in total, a good group of friends I like to explore drugs with. An eighth person would come slightly later, after the main part of my trip was over.
We agreed on all taking one giant hit of the 20x extract from a small, glass pipe and holding it in for as long as we could before exhaling and having the following breath as another hit.
I watched the pipe get passed to four people before me. The first two didn’t seem to have any visual effects, both saying they only felt really baked or really drunk with a touch of the giggles and a strange bodily sensation. The next two seemed to get better hoots, the first just closed her eyes and kind of went off while the second just looked at his shoes and laughed really hard. The pipe then came to me. I took a giant hit and held it in for about thirty seconds before taking a smaller one and holding it in for another thirty seconds. This is when I started to feel it coming on, strange pressures on my body (particularly my legs) and abstract thoughts starting to formulate in my mind.
It is impossible to truly describe what happened next. The feeling of the drug kicking in was like falling asleep and awaking millions of years later in a completely different state of mind. The setting changed so much in mind as I blew out the smoke that it’s as if the events in the day that had taken place before had happened years ago, or had never happened at all. At first I forgot that I had taken anything. I put my head down and simply thought that I was baked, but when I looked up it struck me that this wasn’t the case.
The lighting was similar to that of twilight, and everything I looked at seemed to be facing a setting sun, my friends’ skin looked reflective and red while the air around everyone looked orange. I felt warm and comfortable as the body high came on, a relaxing, blissful feeling of nothingness and at the same time an electric shock that contains all time and matter. My mind seemed to split into two separate entities within my head: The Goddess, a distinctly feminine presence that allowed me to look at nature and people and mentally touch them. I’d identify this as the spirit of Salvia. And The Scientist, a whole other presence that allowed me to articulate abstract thoughts that seemed at once both infinitely true and comically false. I now recognize this as my mind coping with the effects of the drug.
The Scientist was focused on a constant thought that was running through my mind: I am a house. I could feel the rooms inside of me and inside each room were different people I knew. I could walk amongst these rooms, enjoying everything inside them and talking to the people within them. I still hadn’t realized I had done a drug, and this had all happened in maybe ten seconds. The next ten seconds have continued to baffle me no matter how many times I try to revisit and understand them.
I looked up and came immediately to the realization that I was on some kind of drug. My mind registered that I had done salvia but I still couldn’t quite comprehend why, when or how. The lighting had changed from twilight to fractal combinations of colors I hadn’t ever seen before, colors I can’t describe because they have absolutely no relation to any colors the human spectrum of light can normally perceive. Everything natural around me was immediately “touched” by the finger of the Goddess, giving me a sense of total understanding. The Scientist’s thoughts about me as a house were confirmed as I realized all my friends were merely houses and we were all part of a cul de sac in a neighborhood.
This is where I stopped all kinds of resistance and stopped letting myself have a trip, I let the trip have me. I looked directly opposite myself and there sat one of me friends, C, smiling back at me. This comforted me and I could feel The Goddess smile but at the same time I could feel The Scientist burst into a panic attack as he saw that C was both in one of the rooms inside my body and outside of it looking at me. I broke into hysterics. Seriously, the hardest I have ever laughed, I really couldn’t stop.
There’s a short blackout here, I don’t know exactly what happened but I had wandered over to one of the bushes one either side of the clearing, and I was staring at the fluorescent green of the leaves. I could see them breathing and could feel their life force illuminating me as I placed a leave on my hand. This gave me an extreme appreciation for nature, The Goddess was trying to help me communicate with the plant. My thoughts were interrupted by laughter from my friends all around me.
I looked back over my shoulder to see my friend, C, who had just taken his dose. He was squirming around on the ground as two of my other friends tried to keep him in place. He later explained that he had thought the ground was in fact a vertical cliff, and he was trying to climb it as everyone weighed him down. I continued to watch him, The Goddess laughing and enjoying herself, The Scientist taking notes and analyzing my setting, and found his tripping a comfortable relay of my experience. I went over to stand by him as he laughed as hard as he could, the thought of this broke me into laughter.
This is where the effects started to diminish themselves. I started to feel like I was on the cusp of something extraordinary and that there was a lot to learn from the Goddess, but the Scientist began to take over, leaving the visual effects lesser pronounced as the bodily high calmed and my thoughts resumed a linear format. At this moment I swear I actually heard the Goddess whisper “goodbye” into my ear. I have no doubt the sound was actually there – audio hallucinations aren’t this real. I still felt mild tripping, the ground was still breathing and the confusion that accompanies the aftermath of a salvia trip (a different confusion then the actual trip, but similar to the feeling of confusion on Magic Mushrooms) was starting to wrap itself around my mind. I laid back and let my thoughts attempt to organize themselves, but all my brain was doing was trying to forget what had happened.
My theory for why the brain tries to dispose of the trip memories is that the logical part of my brain realizes that if the information is stored, there is a chance that it could drive me into thinking in ways the brain isn’t programmed to thinking in, the ways it should be thinking in, but has been neglected from doing so by the relentless destruction of the true mind by society. So the brain forgets as much of the trip as possible, that is unless you really try to remember it and focus on the meaning behind it.
So I just chilled, let myself come down off the drug as a couple of my other friends smoked their share. I talked with my friends about some trippy thoughts, we all understood that none of us really wanted to share our trips yet. Another one of my friends showed up around 2:20 and had one hit from the pipe. He looked particularly tripped out but he looked like he wasn’t really enjoying himself. One thing that he said during his trip that really proved to me that salvia is not quite a drug, more a spirit that one takes on, was “Dude, you look like a house…” In my opinion, the fact that I had hallucinated myself as a house earlier was no coincidence, we had both been given a piece of the same blessing from The Goddess, salvia.
I didn’t reach baseline for awhile. Especially not in a mental sense, my mind was still in complete disbelief of what it had experienced, it is certainly a hard task to try to comprehend that kind of trip with a sober mind. My bus ride home was enjoyable, I listened to a couple of artists on my iPod before coming to The Jimi Hendrix Experience. The music, the lyrics – pretty much everything about the Jimi Hendrix Experience seemed completely real and natural. The acoustic songs I listened to sounded like the voice of an old forest, secrets being whispered between clouds. The electric songs sounded like a storm: lightning, thunder, just pure power being shot through my brain. The music put me in a really good mood and the feeling of the bus’ movement was calming.
Easily the most meaningful trip of my life and very enjoyable one as well. I still have a lot to thing about in terms of what exactly the Goddess was trying to communicate with me, and I hope to visit her again.
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