Citation: Cparobbins. "Addicted Instantly: An Experience with Modafinil (exp62752)". Erowid.org. May 10, 2007. erowid.org/exp/62752
Wow. I must be the only person on the planet that modafinil has affected this way. I did coke in college (ah.. I remember it fondly and well if I am completely honest). I also had a closely-addictive-encounter with prescription meds (lortabs) not so terribly long ago. So… I tried my husband’s 200mg provigil about 4 days ago…
WOW. I was literally up all night. It felt awesome… exactly like cocaine, as I remember. Even my jaw was clenching! So I started searching on the internet for others that had similar experiences…
This drug has been out since 1998 and NO ONE feels like me on this drug except for two little comments about being a little ‘peppy’ ???? I did discover that modafinil has NO side effects and that modafinil does not produce any type of ‘high’ or ‘euphoria' and that there are NO adverse health affects in taking the drug. But that’s great, really. I think this is honestly the ultimate LEGAL HIGH and it supposedly won’t make me addicted!!!! I feel like I have just discovered the ULTIMATE cocaine pill. I don’t know about anyone else – but for me, I can now take a pill that makes me feel like I’m on cocaine, but legally states that I won’t get addicted or hurt. Hmmm… am I dreaming???
I only hope the ‘adverse heath effects’ reports are right because I KNOW the other reports on ‘effect’ are WRONG at least with my body. How do I know? This is day 5 of discovering my husband’s bottle of unused 200mg provigil. You tell me:
Day 1: popped a provigil around 1pm. By 2 or 3 I was definitely speeding (as if I had literally drank 10 pots of coffee). Awesome!!! Zip, zoom, zam…! By 7pm, I started feeling more ‘normal’ so of course (having the naturally ‘addictive personality’ that I have) popped another pill and went back up to my home office around 9pm (after tucking the boys in bed and kissing hubby goodnight). I furiously worked away….. well… that’s not exactly true. Actually (now that I really think about it) I spent the ENTIRE night searching and reading about other’s reactions to provigil, other ‘smart drugs’, and other ‘stimulants’ – but at least I ‘felt’ productive…right?
Day 2: Holy crap.. I look up from my desk and the sun is coming up! My clock tells me that the boys will be up for school in less than an hour. Yikes. So, I go downstairs, still WIDE awake, jaw rotating, feeling weird, but good, I think, turn on the TV, grab a blanket so the family will think I fell asleep on the couch rather than know that I was actually up all night. My 10 year old comes down first, very early for him, and snuggles on the couch with me. I click on American Idol (thank God for TIVO) and basically talked to him through the entire show. It was obvious even to my child, who kept making fun of me for being so hyper (gee, mom.. what did you drink a pot of coffee already this morning?) Anyway. I can feel my body has not slept but honestly it’s really not unbearable because of the medication giving me energy. Finally they all leave for school, hubby off to work. Now I have about an hour to myself before my office worker arrives (she works for me in my home office).
Knowing that I’ve been up all night, I just KNOW that I obviously need ‘help’ today… so feeling more justified than ever I pop TWO provigil (yep, that’s 400mg), have a couple cups of coffee and watch my FOX news channel as usual. By the time ‘Karen’ arrives to work, I am fully dressed, have cleaned the kitchen (wait… didn’t my family just leave an hour ago?), made my bed and have mentally planned out all the tasks I hope to have completed in the office today. In the office, I confess to ‘Karen’ that I have taken this ‘safe’ pill and explain the effects. I talked non-stop for at least an hour before finally allowing her to work in which case I also did many things. At least I think I did… I mean I definitely remember answering the calls and being busy all day. Funny how every call was detailed, complex and lengthly. Every caller ended up hearing the answer to their answer in great detail along with whatever else crossed my mind. It was a crazy morning, really… but still… how cool! I think, ‘hey.. I don’t have to feel guilty. There are no ‘side effects’. It isn’t ‘addictive’. This is just tooooo good to be true!
So by the time 1pm rolls around and Karen leaves for the day I start to feel just the slightest bit sluggish (no wonder, huh?). Well we can’t have any of that! So I pop two more provigil (another 400mg) and wait only to discover that this stuff kicks in pretty quick (20 minutes about). Zoom…zoom… back to work. Next thing I know everyone’s home from school/work and we have my son’s baseball game at 6pm. Just before leaving I pop another couple provigil (another 400mg) just so I’m up and on my game, right? I’m quite pleasant and chatty at the game with everyone and even splurge and offer McDonalds to the kids even though I ususally hate giving them fast food. By the time we get them in bed it’s already after 9pm.
I honestly thought about taking another provigil at that point – because it felt good before…can you believe that??? Fortunately, I didn’t. I watched two TV shows and then realized I still was not tired. Afraid of spending two nights in a row without sleep, I went to my medicine cabinet and grabbed two sleep aid pills, over the counter stuff, and went back to the TV. I FINALLY fell asleep until the boys got up the next morning for their ritual.
Day 3: Some of the comments I had read on the internet about side effects of provigil said they woke up ‘refreshed’ even with little sleep. Well, I surely didn’t. I felt like I had been hit with a mack truck. I normally need my coffee to function anyway, but this was really bad. I went straight for the coffee and two more provigils (400mg) of course!
Ah, an hour later and I’m feeling better but nothing like yesterday or the first day and definitely not ‘normal’. I’m definitely not ‘speeding’ like before (damn!) but I am awake and feel a ‘little’ of that rush. I wonder if I should take THREE next time. Off to work. Not quite as talkative today, but still pretty ‘up’. I do feel disappointed that I don’t feel that cocaine high I felt all day yesterday, but I chalk it up to not sleeping at night before that. I think about taking three the next time again, but also don’t want to run out of pills because there were only 30 in the bottle. Again, at 1pm I take two more pills and not too long after I start to feel ‘something’ which is more of an ‘up’ than anything else, along with brief periods of that really good cocaine feeling. Brief.. but still present ever so often. I’m definitely feeling like I’m ‘on’ something so that must be good Right?
By 6pm I go down to the family and pop two more provigil and play with the kids outside. I don’t really feel like myself and I don’t really feel like that pleasant, chatty person I was on day one anymore. But still, I feel ‘high’ in some respect and that must be good thing I think. It’s safe, no side-effects, not addictive after all. After the kids are in bed I browse a little more on the internet and realize that not many folks take 1200mg of provigil in one day! And I still can’t find anyone that feels like these are little cocaine pills as I do. My little mental alarm bell is ringing llike crazy, but of course I keep hitting the ‘snooze’ button on those thoughts because these pills have been around for ten years and they are not addictive and they have no side effects…right? This night I’m lucky enough to pop two more OTC sleep aids around 9pm instead of more provigil and gracefully fall into a full night’s sleep.
Day 4: Today I expected to wake up really refreshed after a good night’s sleep like that. I didn’t. Again, I felt like I had taken a muscle relaxer or something and it just hadn’t wore off yet. Really, my eyes were puffy, my body dragged…eeek..awful! Off to the coffee pot and this time I decide to experiment with just ONE provigil and see. By 9am I am fairly awake and I work throughout the day without much excitement. I took one provigil again at 1pm. By 4:30-5pm I felt exhausted. Really tired.
It is now day 5 and I am back up to the 1200mg per day and cannot imaging not having this stuff. I guess I’m the one person out of a million that can actually get addicted to this miraculous ‘non-addictive’ drug.
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