Citation: Church. "Euphoria Followed by Paranoia: An Experience with AET (exp61874)". Erowid.org. Apr 2, 2007. erowid.org/exp/61874
Well, I recently came across a little AET, and I have been wanting to try this since I first read about it in TIHKAL. I never had a desire to experiment with AMT, even though it's been popular for quite some time, but AET seemed to call out to me... eventually, I answered back... by taking the 125mg in a capsule and awaiting the onset.
I took the capsule at about 9:30pm, while I still had another hour and a half left to go at work. I figured by the time I left there I would be feeling it, and would then just take the quick ride home where I would lie around lazily listening to music and enjoying some euphoria of the tryptamine variety (my favorite type of euphoria!!).
At 11:00 I went home, and was BARELY feeling it. I attribute this to having swallowed it in a gelcap, which was the intention anyway. By the time I got home, I was still not feeling it that much, but it was definitely there. I had a few swigs from a 12oz bottle of beer, just to kind of assuage the minor nervousness I was experiencing at trying out a new chemical.
At approximately midnight, it hit me like a ton of bricks... I noticed that I was 'fucked up,' for lack of a better phrase. It was great! I completely understood why this drug has been compared to MDMA, from a physical standpoint, but emotionally it was nothing at all like MDMA, or any phenethylamine I've tried, for that matter. It started coming on like waves, literally. Just like watching a new set of waves come rolling in from the ocean, each set builds with more intensity until the surfable ones are there, and the fun builds to a crescendo. During this time, I couldn't help but notice how this drug was making me nod off, not at all unlike an opiate nod. It's very bizarre, to say the least!! Many tryptamines make me yawn and stuff, but I've never just sat there for hours on end, experiencing the tryptamine euphoria and nodding out at the same time.
I also noticed just how horny this drug was making me, and how I just wanted to fuck fuck fuck. Of course, since I was trying out a new chemical by myself, that wasn't an option... so guess what? That's right, I tied one off! It felt awesome, and the experience was extremely cathartic. I totally needed a cigarette after it was over, so I went outside and sat down on a patio chair while looking up at the night sky, enjoying how many stars were surprisingly visible in the Florida sky. At this point was when I noticed that the physical effects were starting to make some room for the mental and emotional effects to come on, and I have to be honest-- I DIDN'T LIKE THEM!
First of all, I never had any sense of empathy, which I always experience on empathogens, even when alone. Like, I usually start getting introspective and empathizing with people in my life who aren't necessarily there with me, but it makes me think about how much I value the people in my life and that sort of thing... Nothing like that at all. It didn't cause me to have any epiphanies or revelations of any kind. It didn't cause me to want to call my sister and tell her how much I love her...
Nope. All it did was make me PARANOID!!! All of a sudden I was finding myself thinking thoughts that hadn't come up from drugs in almost 10 years. Like, about how I don't deserve to be able to experiment with rare drugs, because I obviously don't experience them the way they were 'intended' to be experienced (I know, LOL at that, it's funny NOW, but at the time it broke my heart). I was thinking about how I don't deserve to be a moderator on a drug forum anymore for this reason, and I was TOTALLY gonna quit my position as soon as I came down. I didn't even realize that it was paranoia, either. While it was happening, it was like I discovered that I had been lying to myself all along, and AET was showing me the truth, which is funny because even 10 years ago when I had a paranoia trip on mushrooms, I at least knew I was being paranoid while it was happening. Not with this shit. It totally convinced me that it was revealing the truth to me, that I was a pawn in the Universe's game, and everyone, including everyone on the forum, from the admins on down to the noobs, have been playing a big joke on me.
At any rate, I just kept sitting there on the patio, smoking cigarettes and allowing myself to believe that I was depressed, anxious, and paranoid. At about 5:00 in the morning, I was able to go to bed and drift off to sleep. When I woke up the next day, guess what? THE PARANOIA AND NEGATIVE THOUGHTS WERE STILL THERE!! I also had an ever-so-slight hangover-like feeling, but it only manifest itself as a headache and a little speediness. I took some tylenol for the headache, which totally took care of that, and then I smoked some pot for the hangover feeling. This definitely alleviated the yuck I was feeling, but I sat at my computer desk totally going over the thoughts that came up the night before, and still halfway believing them.
I had to go to work that afternoon at my friend's recording studio to do some rough mixes, and I was completely unable/unwilling to go anywhere. I called him and told him I was going to have to reschedule for later that evening, and he started bitching at me about it... and I totally just raised my voice and laid into him through the phone. This is not like me at ALL. I am not confrontational by any means, and when I found myself actually raising my voice and being curt with him, it shocked me. When I finally got to his place that evening, the first thing I did was apologize to him and tell him I was battling a minor form of depression, and thanked him for giving me an opportunity to work with him and the producer and everyone. Being in that control room and getting lost in my mixing actually took my mind off of everything that isn't music, and I left there feeling reasonably good.
When I woke up the next day, after a full night's sleep, I finally felt back to normal-- my happy, non-paranoid, non-anxious self. I was left only wondering if what I experienced was simply too high of a dose, or if AET just doesn't like me for whatever reason. I figured I would never EVER touch the stuff again, nor would I invite my new girlfriend to partake with me. Only now, a day later, am I actually telling myself that I simply took too much, and next time (if there will, in fact, BE a next time) I will simply take less.
Overall, I really liked the character of the physical effects. I liked that bizarre nodding-out thing!!! It was like being relaxed at the same time as having all that crazy tryptamine energy. What a dichotomy! There was a little bit of minor nausea, but never enough that I felt the need to purge. I would just sit still and it passed. Music was slightly enhanced for me, but not to a large enough degree to list that as a primary effect. It was mostly just a euphoriant, to me. That is, until the dark spaces in my mind came out.
Will I try this again? I honestly think, yes, I will, if any more comes around again. At about 75mg, probably. But if it causes me to think dark thoughts at that dose, I will write this one off for good. I am well aware that set and setting will always play a role in the experiences we receive from the tryptamines, and the phenethylamines, but I am generally a very positive person, who loves his life, loves his friends, loves his family, and certainly has no reason to be paranoid. So I know that it is simply an effect of the drug experience, and not some underlying mental bullshit that I have been repressing. I seriously have not experienced paranoia like that in a VERY long time, and back when I experienced it last, I definitely had reason to be paranoid and not like the conditions of my life.
At any rate, would I recommend it to others? YES. I would. I do. My only advice is this: don't start off with 125mg, and definitely make sure you have a significant other around, because this shit is a goddamn APHRODISIAC!!!!
That is all, for now
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