Citation: Yosh. "Chemical Jesus: An Experience with Bromazepam (exp61623)". Erowid.org. Jun 20, 2018. erowid.org/exp/61623
I've had my share of tense moments, witnessing a murder (by my best friend, no less)..and the aftermath.
So naturally I'm normally always on the edge of a pool of fear with clouds of frustration swirling overhead.
For today I'll disclose an encounter with my schizophrenic 17 year old sister (not currently on medication).
It started as it usually does, screaming accusations at me...stirring an immense demon within me.
Something thats as dangerous as it is stubborn, it takes a LOT of stress to send me into a rage,
I very nearly punched her (with my strength and weight, I'd quite easily have shattered her jaw...)
but managed to contain myself. I withdrew to my room and made the decision to embrace the chemical
agent that is my personal savior, that known as bromazepam.
T:00:00 Put 6 mg under my tongue, decided to drown out the piercing screams with the sound of hard,
T:00:02 As I climbed into the grimy haven of rust, I felt a calm feeling sweep the negative energy
from my mind like a vacuum on a dusty carpet.
T:00:10 I'm wondering why I even bother to care about such trivial matters as the ravings of a
complete lunatic, and how I could even consider resorting to violence to silence such idiocy.
T:00:30 I finish wiping every inch of my body with goat soap (sensitive skin), and end my visit
to the watery shrine of tranquility
T:1:00 I'm feeling quite tired, its been somewhat of a long day and I'm entering my 14th hour
T:1:20 after 20 minutes of playing Warcraft 3:The Frozen Throne I feel like retiring for the night
and decide to begin the 5 minute walk to a derelect house that I occasionally take refuge in from
both the cold canadian winter, and my crazed schizo sister.
All in all, this is the best aid I have. Its value is oft underestimated, for I've been chided more than once by nurses
(who told me I'd be better off on anti-depressants) and how this medication isn't worth taking in the long term.
I truly beg to differ as with SSRI's I've been unable to feel any anger, to the extent that I became unrealistic in my
reasoning. And in addition there seemed to be a cap on my ability to be genuinely happy, like it had set barriers to
my emotional clarity, and not to mention what I was on (Effexor XR) was FAR more expensive than what I'm currently on.
Unlike some benzodiazepines I experience no withdrawal symptoms when I halt my dosage (lorazepam/diazepam tended
to make me angry when my dose was cut).
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