Citation: SirMoses. "Near Certain Death: An Experience with Morphine (exp61483)". Erowid.org. Apr 9, 2007. erowid.org/exp/61483
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So, your here reading about the love/hate relationship I have with Morphine. I started using MS Contin at about 16 and continues to use heavily until I was about 20. Me and my girlfriend at the time would get it from her dad who got it from a friend with cancer, and eventually we just went straight to the guy with cancer to get it. From doing it every other day for a few years I naturally built up a tolerance to it. Usually I would take half of the 200mg MS Contin and snort it. It would take about a half hour to kick in, and then I would get 'the nods', where I would fall into a kind of sleep for a few seconds here and there, but never really falling asleep.
One night, After visiting the terminally ill man, I had in my possesion half of a 200mg MS Contin, and two 60mg generic extended release morphine pills. Initially I snorted the half of the MS Contin. I got a good buzz, but I wanted more. So I crushed up the two 60mg pills and parachuted them (ground them into powder and wrapping the powder in a single ply of toilet paper and swallowing it with some liquid). Then I proceeded to drive a half hour to meet a friend at a store. When I was at the store for about and hour, I felt pretty high, but nothing spectactular. We went outside to smoke a cigarette and I came to the realization that I was too high and tired to go back in. So I said goodbye and started driving home.
Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]
Thats when I blacked out. Next thing I know I'm on a Hospital Bed with people rushing around the room trying to save my life. It was the morning by the time I was discovered by my mom, laying in my bed, comatose. Apparently I made it home, and still managed to go upstairs into my bed and then passed out. I started to come to in the hospital, after they had given me a shitload of Narcan, a drug used for opiate overdose that blocks the effects of the morphine in your brain, and stimulates your respiratory system to get you breathing again. I felt them put the catheter in my urethra.
Then when I woke up I realized that I could only hear things that were close by, and that I couldnt hear anyone talking to me. I had hearing loss. During my 3 day stay in the ICU my hearing came back, Thankfully. This whole incident was eventually ruled as a suicide attempt and I was committed to the mental hospital because of an overzealous paramedic that assumed my computer was on a website about suicide when it was just a desktop picture with some lyrics from a band I liked. They say that I would have died if my mom wouldnt have found me. I still continue to debate this fact to this day, because if I wasnt dead by the morning I probly wouldnt have died. But this is only my thoughts, I am not a doctor so I cant say whether I wouldve died.
They say I would have so thats what we all go with. So when everything is said and done, I love Morphine, perhaps a little too much. Seeing as how I could have easily died from my habit, I havent done morphine in over a year and didnt go through withdrawal after I quit. I still miss those days when I used to get loaded and read playboys with my girlfriend, but in the end it took me almost dying to quit. To this day I would love to start up again, but curb my appetite with the occasional oxycodone binge. To all who read this, morphine is a serious deadly drug. True it has its uses in the medical field but when used to get high it can escalate to a bad situation very quickly. So be careful.
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