Citation: Steven. "The Day I Got Expelled: An Experience with Zolpidem (Ambien CR) (exp61322)". Erowid.org. May 3, 2007. erowid.org/exp/61322
I had just gotten back from a 5 day cruise where I was completely sober the entire time. I had tried to get alcohol from several people, but no one was very helpful. Once we made it to St. Martin, I figured I'd at least be able to buy some weed and maybe even a cool looking bowl if I was lucky. Imagine my frustration when I was unable to find anything. On the ferry ride home, my mom told me she had been offered free weed by people in the one store I hadn't gone in. I had swamp ass from walking in the sun that whole time and I was pissed. I spent the rest of the cruise in the room feeling sorry for my self and watching Dick and Jane in several different languages.
This frustration carried over when I arrived at home. The next day I had school, so I decided I'd do something fun. My friend didn't really have anything with her, but she offered me some Ambien. Now, I had tried Ambien before and it didn't really end well. At any other time, I would have declined and looked for something better to do, but I had just gotten off that cruise and I wanted to be fucked up then and there. Needless to say, I accepted.
When I got the Ambien, I made a bee line to the bathroom. I pulled out the prescription out and got my first glimpse of the end of my life as I knew it. Inside were 8 small, round, blue, tablets containing Ambien in its controlled release form. The last time, I had taken 3 and that was the regular form, so I figured 2 was a safe start. I pulled out my water bottle and downed two.
The bell rang for first period so off I went. The funny thing about me and Ambien is that I have no clue when it kicks in or exactly how altered my state is. After first period, I was kind of annoyed. I wasn't feeling anything (or so I thought), so I went to the bathroom and took another pill.
Second period was pretty cool. I felt a definite change in my demeanor. I was extremely laid back, not caring whether I played bad or not. I also felt happy. I was making great jokes. All the band nerds worshiped me. I should have stopped there. Instead, I went in the bathroom and took another pill. As much as I knew better, more drugs meant more fun at the time. Something in my mind told me to toss out the prescription bottle and to put the pills in my pocket. Perhaps I knew what was to come.
In case you weren't counting, this was pill number 4 for me. In my head, this seemed like a perfectly fine number, nothing to brag about, but nothing to turn your nose up to either. Wrong! I can't remember much of third period, but from what I heard from friends afterward it basically consisted of me grinning, waving my arms around, telling people to shut the fuck up and claiming I knew far more Spanish than they did. I do remember a notable change in my physical state. I had begun sweating. I'm a big guy, so sweating for no good reason isn't exactly foreign to me, but this wasn't a little sweat on my brow, this was full blown football game sweat. I looked and felt disgusting and I could feel my self beginning to black out.
I was worried, really worried. As much as I felt like nothing mattered I knew I had taken too much and I had about a 20% chance of getting caught. I don't remember the bell ringing, I don't remember getting up, and I certainly don't remember walking across the school to the bathroom right next to my 4th period class. However, I do remember standing in the bathroom with the remaining 4 pills in one hand and my water bottle in the other. My mind was all cloudy and by my calculations, I now had zero chance of not getting caught. I now had a choice. I could throw the pills in the trash and hope everyone in the school just ignored the 6'3' 350 lb kid drooling on himself, or I could take the rest and go out in style. I took the rest, but I didn't go out in style. I blacked out.
The remainder of this story is based on first hand accounts from my friends and the reports the teachers and administrators wrote. My fiend (the one who gave me the Ambien) was in my fourth period. She said as soon as I came in she knew something had gone horribly, horribly wrong. I was sweating profusely and stumbling all over my self. She walked over to me and quickly led me to my seat before the teacher came in.
She asked me how many I had taken and I said 'all of them' with a goddamn grin on my face. How big of an ass am I? I can only imagine how she felt at that moment. She did everything she could to keep me out of trouble, but I kept cursing at the teacher and right before lunch, the teacher called the deans and told them they needed to pick up a student. The bell for lunch rang. I yelled out, 'Saved by the bell!” got up (with my friends assistance), and stumbled out of the classroom for lunch.
This is the part I'm glad I don't remember. I guess I made it all the way down the hallway and to the stairs. Lunch meant I had to go down stairs, so down stairs I went. I did it in a rather unique way, though. Two steps down and I lost my balance. The rest of my trip down consisted of a role akin to a scene from Indiana Jones. Kids jumped out of the way as they saw me coming. I'm just glad I didn't seriously hurt anyone. Well, that's not true, I did seriously hurt my self. I must have landed directly on my knees or something because they were all fucked up when I woke up. I guess after I landed, I pissed my self. Imagine that. A huge kid sporting a 'got crabs' shirt, covered in sweat just rolled down the stairs, landed, and pissed him self. I'm just going to let that scene play out in your mind for a bit.
This naturally caused a commotion (noted in one of the dean's reports), and they were on the way. Somehow, my friend managed to help me up and bring me to some bench. (I know, she's a real trooper) I'm not easily hidden even in the mob that is today's high school, so I was spotted by the administrators rather quickly.
They took me into some office and began questioning me. I told them everything that happened save my friends name. They kept asking me where I got the drugs and I gave them a multitude of answers including finding them on the very boat that caused this madness. They kept asking me questions until one noticed my eyes rolling into the back of my head and called an ambulance fearing for my health. I was literally rolled out of school on a gurney in the middle of lunch. You can imagine my embarrassment!
In the hospital, I met my mom and had a catheter inserted into my penis. I don't know if any of you have ever had this done, but let me tell you, it sucks. Thank god I don't remember the actual insertion of it. In fact, the next thing I remember after my black out is waking up in the hospital with my arms restrained and the worst feeling in the world in my dick. In my Ambien addled brain I thought I had fallen on top of a knife and that knife had gone right up my dick. I began pulling and straining at it until I pulled the bag off and my piss spilled out all over the bed. This was definitely the most embarrassing experience of my life. They didn’t seem to mind me much though because they decided to keep me over night for observation.
I guess there was a bit of confusion about where to keep me once they were sure I wasn’t in any real danger. I was brought to this hospital because of my size, but my age made it clear that I should be transferred to Arnold Palmer. They had me roll over onto a gurney. I was able to do this much, but I ended up lying on my stomach with my ass sticking up in the air. There was no back to this particular gown, so the nurses were left with quite a view.
Anyway, they eventually got me lying upright and into an ambulance. On the ride over, the some bitch kept telling me I had to watch my language when I got to the new hospital. She told me it was full of kids and my type of language would not cut it. I replied with something like, “Well shit I guess I’ll have to talk more like this.” She informed me that I had just cursed again. I replied, “Wow, I guess I’m more fucked up than I thought I was.” She kind of laughed nervously and didn’t say much for the rest of the ride.
When I arrived at the hospital I was wheeled into an elevator. It was a short ride, but that didn’t stop me from making small talk. “Hey!” I exclaimed. The Male nurse that was riding up the elevator with me glanced in my direction, rolled his eyes, and then looked away. Naturally, I took this as an invitation to continue the exchange. “Long shift,” I asked. The guy sighed and muttered something like, “yeah, now just be quiet.”
It was at this point that the elevator doors opened. I guess we had made it to our destination. My new friend wheeled me to the room I’d be staying in and told me to be quiet because the babies were sleeping. Then he walked away.
A few minutes later, an amazingly stunning nurse came up and checked my vitals. I didn’t say much to her, but I wasn’t exactly shy. I kind of jus stared at her ass and drooled. Anyway, she left and a doctor and a couple more nurses came back. They were whispering which, of course, pissed me off. It wasn’t that I cared about what they were saying (they were asking me about how I felt, what I took, what I’ve taken in the past, how often I’ve taken it, why did I take it, etc…). I didn’t. I just didn’t care for the constant hissing. My solution to this was to speak as loud as possible. I figured if I raised my voice, they’d subconsciously raise theirs. This didn’t work and it took a while for them to calm me down. Eventually, they left and I was able to get some much needed shut eye. After all, this had been a long day.
I woke up the next day around 5 am thinking I’d be able to go home soon. Oh how wrong I was. I had to be cleared first which took forever. I guess doctors are busy people. Go figure. Anyway, I spent the day watching all these gorgeous nurses hitting on kids barely 3 years old. I just kept thinking, “What the hell is this shit?! My cock has to be at least twice the size of that kid’s.” They were all fawning over some black kid who was missing the bottom half of his jaw. They’d ask him if who was his girlfriend and he’d point to a different girl every time. The kid could have at least left me the fatty, but no. He had to make her his wife. What a dick…
After 6 or so hours of this shit, some shrink visited me. She asked me a ton of questions about whether I was depressed and if I had thoughts of suicides. By the time she was done, I was aggravated again. I just wanted to get the hell out of there and here was some lady trying to find problems where there weren’t any.
Eventually, I was cleared to be released. I called my mom and had her come pick me up. The ride home was kind of awkward. What exactly are you supposed to say in that situation? I didn’t know, so I just didn’t say anything.
About two weeks later, I had a meeting with my school to see if I would be expelled or not. It came down to whether or not I was going to give up the girl who gave me the Ambien’s name or not. I wouldn’t, so I got expelled.
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