Never Take in Jail
Amphetamines - Adderall
by Jailbird
Citation:   Jailbird. "Never Take in Jail: An Experience with Amphetamines - Adderall (exp61252)". Erowid.org. Sep 4, 2007. erowid.org/exp/61252

 
DOSE:
60 mg oral Amphetamines (daily)

BODY WEIGHT: 155 lb


Before I begin, I want to say that I noticed many people are aware of the negative side effects of amphetamines from reading other experience reports. Although I will focus on that, this is not like the other reports. None of the other reports mentioned taking a drug that forces you to do things when your locked inside a place where there's nothing to do. Yeah, jail.

About 2 weeks before I was incarcerated I was prescribed adderall XR from the same doctor who perscribed it to me three years earlier. I had not touched it in those years. I started at about 10 or 15 mg a day and he worked me up to 60 mg a day over time. I hardly remember if it worked on me or not, I was in a horrible crisis at that time in my life. But that's beside the point.

I wanted to get an edge on college because I just started 2 weeks prior to my doctor visit, and also I remember the decreased appetite effect it has on me. I wanted to lose some weight from a very long summer of drinking and partying. He perscribed me 60mg a day starting the following day. The same doseage I worked myself up to over several months. I thought about it, but was not concerned.

The next day I was eager to do it. I like speedy drugs and everyone here calls adderall 'Poor Man's Coke' or 'Poor Man's Yayo'. I popped the two orange capsules and then laid down to be lazy like usual. My girlfriend got up and started to get dressed and ready. I went for a short drive to a liquor store for something to drink, and slightly started to feel the affects after about an hour. It's hard to notice unless I'm really paying attention, but it gradually came to full effect and I started to feel the typical symptoms, which were awesome to me: I felt good, confident (but not the 'take over the world' feeling), motivated, not hungry, energetic, and ideas and tasks were interesting and all seemed to be productive.

I went back and reported my condition to my girlfriend adequetely: 'I'm so fucked up' I told her. I had told her what it would do, so she analyzed me for awhile and voiced any changed in me she noticed. She said I couldnt sit there and do nothing, I was always cleaning, re-arranging something, talking to someone, writing, or asking questions. I felt as if all this time I've not been on adderall, I've been so lazy and now I had to accomplish all the things I should have or never did.

I called my dad and corrected all the problems I was having with him at the time. I wrote a letter to my probation officer, telling him I want to turn over a new leaf and not fuck up anymore. I cleaned. I shopped. I organized. I talked. I was finally a productive citizen.

5 days after this day I was arrested at the local court house for a probation violation that occured before my adderall perscription. I would be in jail for the next 18 days. I thought 'at least I have my adderall here.' But I didn't make the connection that this drug makes me want to do things and I am in a place where I can do nothing. I was in small 6-man cell for all those days. It was about 15 feet by 20 feet. I shared it with 5 other fellow criminals. I was completely unaware of the side effects adderall can cause. But these side effects are extremely amplified when I am forced to be seperated from the world. And let me tell you, it was terrifying.

My parents were in Mexico for several months on vacation and could not visit me, call me, or send money. My brother came to visit me to tell me I had lost my car, job, all my money, all my belongings from my dorm room, my bank account got closed, my parents want to disown me, and when I am released at 4:00 AM into the cold snowy night on my release date I will be homeless and only have a T-shirt.

This is true, all those things were happening on the outside. But adderall can cause anxiety and paranoia. Sometimes terrifying a person of social interaction or cause them to dread things they normally would not obsess over. Well what happens when your already anxious, paranoid, depressed, and terrified of the 'what if'. Disaster. When I was told this, I started to shake. harder and harder as I stood in the visiting booth. My mouth went dry. I mean, completely devoid of all moisture. I felt as if my stomach was tied into knots and that all hope was lost. I had a yearning to start putting everything back together, but I was trapped in jail.

Back in my cell I obsessed over that day's visit. With so much spare time and nothing to do besides write, draw, or watch shitty TV I had plenty of time to overanalyze a situation. Is my girlfriend gone? She must be cheating on me! Everything is gone. I'll starve to death with no money or home. My parents never loved me. Everyone forgot about me! I'll never be able to go to college again! I believed all of that. I even had a day where I was terrified the computers at the jail would be wrong and show that I had to serve a year instead of 18 days. It was insane.

One night I was dizzy and felt very strange. Especially when I stood up. I was resting, yet noticed my heart was unbelievably fast. I ended up blacking out and collapsing. My cell mates pushed the panic button and I was taken to see a corrections officer as there was no nurse on duty. My blood pressure was completely fucked. My heart rate was 180 beats per minute. The C.O. freaks out but is unable to send me to the hospital unless I am in the act of dying. Or so they say. I am placed in medical watch for several hours.

Following that day I saw a doctor and they told me I was in trouble. I had lost 20 pounds in 12 days. I weighed 178.5 pounds before incarceration. I was then at 158.5 exactly. After some tests, I was lacking nutrients, vitamins, and other healthy protein levels. I was malnurished. My skin was red, dry, and scaly. I already have a skin condition, but it made it worse. Then it spread all over my body. And jail doesn't help that either. My heart rate was still too high, but not bad. She said I could have gone into cardiac arrest or had a stroke.

From that day until my release things got really bad but sometimes they were okay. A letter from my girlfriend (who had not left me, my brother assumed she did) helped to ease the anxiety attacks and depression. I was released and it took 2 days of my girlfriend nursing me back to normal for me to see reality. When she picked me up from jail I was shaking and my heart raced when I spoke to her. I felt nervous around her, as if she was judging me or looking at me funny. And I still believed my world was crashing down around me.

It has been 17 days since I have been released from jail. I have fixed my problems but I still notice things are differant since I've taken the drug. There are times when I feel slight social anxiety and since I've been on the drug I've had more problems with my girlfriend than usual. But that may or may not be from using the drug.

Exp Year: 2007ExpID: 61252
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given 
Published: Sep 4, 2007Views: 37,105
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Amphetamines (6) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Health Problems (27), Depression (15), Multi-Day Experience (13), Relationships (44), Difficult Experiences (5), Not Applicable (38)

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