Citation: Speed. "Let Go - An Amphetamine Adventure: An Experience with Amphetamines (exp60484)". Erowid.org. Feb 13, 2009. erowid.org/exp/60484
So last night I went to a rave. I can honestly say that I've never been so euphoric, nor excited in my whole life. The amazing this is, I didn't consume any illicit things until AFTER the rave. The whole time I was there at the rave, I couldn't stop thinking about how lucky I am to live in the world I do, to know the people I know, and to think the way that I think. It's truly given me some major leeway with my plans for the rest of my life, because I feel like I understand the true emotions I once held far and away. But the rave was only the beginning for what my friend and I had in our near futures.
After leaving Cece at 12 (I wish I coulda stayed), we were outside and my friend was having trouble opening his car door. I mentioned that I was a little bit frustrated we didn't find ANY substance at the rave, and at almost that instant, the girl (I think Ashley was her name) that I didn't know came up to me and offered a bit of speed, 30 mg. Naturally, I was hesitant at first to try the drug, but I was not going to leave that night without some sort of substance to explore my own mind with. So I bought my capsule, and my friend and I went home in his BMW going upwards of 120 mph listening to hardcore techno only to find his mother still awake. We had planned to leave back to the rave after she'd seen we were home and she'd fallen asleep.
She didn't fall asleep....ever. But it's neither here nor there, it's not important.
Anyway, we got home and put on Infected Mushroom (techno) and I went into his bathroom to take my speed. Pop, in my mouth. Easy. Twenty minutes pass, I feel nothing.
Thirty minutes are now past, I still feel not a shred of anything.
Now I'm sitting here upstairs with my friend talking about how fun the night was, and in one large sweeping feeling throughout my head, I feel suddenly euphoric and had an overall feeling of extreme well-being. The things we talked about ranged from girlfriends, to the human psyche, even to the way government is lying to us (Theory). I can honestly say I've never felt so amazingly happy than I did during those twenty minutes upstairs. It was during this twenty minutes in which I felt mentally invincible. I could tell my friend anything.
I told him my story of the rave, in which he was very interested it seemed, and moderately impressed by. Now I'm at the end of my story, I can barely keep up with my thoughts, words come out slurred and jumbled. My brain is a frenzy of light and color that I can't explain with any other phrase than 'Brilliant Fuzziness'. It's at this time when my friend and I give up on going back to the rave, because his mother inevitably won't sleep and will therefore catch us sneaking back out.
We go downstairs to listen to more music, and watch the iTunes visualizer (Very VERY trippy). I feel fuzzy and warm inside, I feel completely content with my situation, I feel invincible. Words, phrases, stories start spilling out of me, all of which Darin (My friend) is completely interested and helpful with. I tell him again how seriously euphoric I am, and he says he understands. An hour passes, and my mind races relentlessly from one topic to the next, going off on tangents, and occasionally, completely malfunctioning because of an overload of information.
I tell Darin the story of how I met Caity, and our relationship. I tell Darin the story of how I really never was happy until now. I tell Darin that he is the best person I'd ever met, I feel like unraveling an entire chain of events and actions that have taken place, just to prove this fact that yes, he is an amazing person.
Around 3:30, my mind is simply too packed full of both useful and useless information, so I take a break from my constant ramblings. Darin begins to speak. I understand perfectly what he's saying, I can keep up with his train of thought, everything around me is finally in focus, and I see and embrace the truth in my life, rather than always running away from it.
Now it's 4:30. I begin to feel myself drift away into a positive state of sleep, but I'm woken up (willingly) by Darin to continue our conversation. It's during this time that I decide to finally stand up and walk around a bit. What was I thinking, it was fading? The head rush I get pushes the trip back into motion and I'm off in a rambling of words once again, Darin listening and discussing all the while. The stories I've already told spill out once again, I feel complete.
Now we've gotten to the point where we literally have nothing more to talk about, because we had spend five straight hours continuously talking about everything. Again I feel the positive sleepy feeling, and this time I'm forced to give in to it, being immediately enveloped in a relentless frenzy of colorful dreams. As soon as I lay my head to sleep, I awake from the insane hallucinations being played over and over again like a projector on my eyelids.
It's the morning. The dreams I had been having recreated themselves in my conscious vision. I feel afraid, but not in danger. I rouse myself from the sleeping bag I'm encased in, and a feeling of total relaxation and contentment surrounds me. This is the end of my journey. I'm a changed person. I feel...different. I have feelings of trust, feelings of love, feelings of admiration toward certain people in my life now, but it seems futile to let most of these people know about these feelings, because they're not ready to understand what they feel about themselves yet.
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