Citation: Mark. "Not All Of It Has Been Easy: An Experience with Methamphetamine (exp5913)". Erowid.org. Feb 6, 2002. erowid.org/exp/5913
I have been using crystal meth on and off (mostly on) for about ten months. While some of my initial experiences with the drug were pretty extreme -- perhaps also due to the external circumstances of my life at the time -- I have been gradually settling into a healthier, less 'self-destructive' routine.
I was introduced to meth through the phenethylamines (eg. mdma) and started using it as an adjunct to the dextroamphetamine I am prescribed for attention deficit disorder. I find the meth more pleasant and less physiological troublesome than the Dexedrine (which led to some cardiac irregularities after prolonged use). In part I think this is because the crystal is easier to self-regulate, in terms of dosage and method of ingestion. I am fortunate in that my tolerance for meth is quite low -- even now a point will last me at least two or three days -- although this makes it easy for me to 'max out' if I over indulge in the wrong place.
While I have always been somewhat withdrawn and anti-social, I've found the support of other crystal users/dealers/culture much more helpful than any of the advice or information I received in the hands of straight doctors and psychiatrists. On the down side, crystal is definitely more tempting to abuse than dex. Also, some of my family and friends have shut me out because of it, and seem unable to get over their understanding of my 'drug addiction.' When I was younger and used to drink all the time we all seemed to get along fine (?). Of course, when I was first working my habit out I thought about meth almost all the time, at least every few minutes. Now I will often forget about it (ideationally) for hours between doses, except when I need to worry about getting more. With the scripted Dexedrine, of course, I just had to make it to a pharmacy once a month and talk to my doctor occasionally. This doesn't really bother me, as my criminal record is negligible (mischief under $5000), I have a university degree, and living in a legal limbo provides some excitement and clothes to wear. As long as I am polite and keep my temper at bay, the law enforcement bureaucrats where I live are quite respectful. Despite the stigma and these difficulties, my life is still better than it was and (ironically?) I feel more in tune with the 'day to day world' of regular people.
I have heard a lot of stories about people's lives being ruined because of this drug. I haven't actually seen this first hand, but, as someone who has experimented widely with psychedelics, I do have to say that crystal methamphetamine is a very powerful, even insidious, substance. Like the psychedelics, no doubt it does undermine the whitewash of traditional western society. On the other hand, my meth experience has done more for me as a human being. Not all of it has been easy and I do worry about the future.
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