Citation: Truckson 6. "Implacable Pulchritudinous Horror: An Experience with DMT & Syrian Rue (exp58800)". Erowid.org. Jan 20, 2007. erowid.org/exp/58800
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I recently wrote an experience report entitled Entirely Immersive (Report ID:57936), whereby I smoked DMT for the first time. The following experience is related to an oral dose of DMT taken a few weeks later with the hopes of eliciting a more cerebral trip, and that it did! I am referencing my last report for those who might wish to compare the two.
I decided on a 50 mg dose of DMT rendered orally active with a 3 g dose of ground Syrian rue. The setting was as near to perfect as I could dream up, a small cedar lined yurt with a gas stove fireplace, nestled at the foot of the mountains on a crystalline lake. The morning sky was dark with snow and a powerful wind was blowing down from the mountainside past our yurt, leaning heavily on the giant firs and spruce surrounding us. My girlfriend and I lay nestled by the fire in our cozy little cabin, with candles set about the room.
My girlfriend was going to sit for me and had set aside her day to do so. She understands me well and is a talented sitter, so along with a perfect setting, I was feeling confident going into the experience knowing that my needs would be met, no matter where the journey took me. We began the experiment at 11:30 AM a couple hours following a light breakfast.
00:00: I formed the powdered rue into pellets by blending it with a very small amount of melted butter, and swallowed them with water. I didn’t taste a thing. A subtle light headedness began to come on after about a half hour, and I was surprised there was no nausea.
00:45: I ate the yellowish DMT crystals in a gelcap, and then sat scrawling notes in my dream journal, waiting for effects to come on. Changes were noticed after only about 15 minutes and at 30 minutes were more clearly pronounced. It felt like a slight drunkenness, being mostly physical, marked by a lack of balance and coordination. This may have been primarily the MAOI.
My girlfriend suddenly and unfortunately realized she forgot to arrange her absence from work, so we reluctantly headed into the village with me in the passenger seat and her sober, so we could pick up a cell signal. As we made the 14 mile journey, the trip began to come on, and it felt surprisingly like mushrooms. An oceanic feeling swept over me and the mountainsides began to take on a crisp colourful appearance. The subtle hues of nature were blooming forth in palettes of pink and yellow and green. I noticed it getting harder to hold conversation. There was a bit of nausea, but overall I felt quite serene. Little did I know how this would all change.
01:45 Returning to the yurt, I find it is no longer easy to write my notes, although the trip is still quite mild. We sit and talk for a while and I notice strong, therapeutic psychological effects coming on. I muse to my girlfriend that I have to prevent my ego from squashing my creativity and that I recognize I am more insecure with myself than I would like to be. These ideas persist, and within another half hour, I am remarking on how pushy this substance is. I don’t feel like I’m in control, and feel the power of the substance taking hold.
02:00 – False Comedown
The effects begin to subside, and I suggest to my girlfriend that I am probably beyond the peak of the trip and I might be on the downswing. I pull her in for a big hug and as I hold her, I notice a beautiful shimmer in the wood grain of the wall. Apparently I’m not over the peak yet … as it turns out … not even close.
02:30 – Liftoff
The open eye visuals begin to increase, the room glowing in electric colours and mercurial reflections. Things begin to look digitized and liquid and remind me of my smoked DMT experience, only milder. My girlfriend looks astonishingly beautiful to me, not that she isn’t always, but now … even more so. I feel the trip rushing forwards, as if I’m on an accelerating train that I have no control over. “Damn this is pushy babe!” I said. When I close my eyes I am submerged in a liquid soup of colourful visuals, and my mind is racing, racing, racing with powerful emotions. I am filled with happiness, sadness, dread, euphoria, humor, fright … all at the same time. As much as I am fascinated, I begin to hope it won’t get any stronger. Sound Tribe Sector 9 was on the stereo – Live at Home – and the choice couldn’t be better for tripping. The music no longer emanates from the speakers, it fills the room as a spatial entity. I ask her “Am I peaking yet?”.
03:00 – Primary Fuel Cells Deplete, Secondary Cells Activated
The open eyed visuals are now approaching those of smoked DMT and it is difficult to keep my eyes open as it is thoroughly overwhelming. The room is alive with colours, and it is truly a beautiful sight. I feel a strong male presence, not an entity, a presence … and the message is clear: I am not in control here. I recline back on the futon, dragging my fingers repeatedly back through my hair, my eyes are gushing water, and my mind feels like it is hurtling through an emotional vortex at 1000 miles per hour. My teeth are chattering and I am releasing a long nonsensical utterance, which amounted to nothing less than internal energy trying to escape my body. I am both terrified and overjoyed. I close my eyes and I am swallowed whole, and my girlfriends calming words seem miles away and they are echoing, as is my own voice. Despite my terror, I mutter from beyond the depths … “ highly recommended” which causes her to burst into a fit of laughter. “Oh God … am I peaking yet?”.
03:30 – Terminal Velocity
I am receiving so many messages I can’t possibly process them all. I am inundated with visions of friends and family, and emotions of all types. I feel like I am being ruthlessly pushed through a growth process, no … dragged … by the face. I am overcome with a sense of thankfulness for the life I have and everyone in it, and tears of joy and humility stream down my cheeks. “Life changing”, I mutter … “absolutely life changing”. This is all I can manage. I feel humility in a way I have never felt it before, and despite my fear, I know it is all for the better. “Oh God, oh God, please tell me I am peaking”. My physical self is cycling between euphoria and sickness, and the body load coincides with my psychological state. As I navigate the darker depths of my soul, I am overcome with the need to vomit and defecate, and I am burping up large quantities of gas. As euphoric joyful thoughts arise, the feeling subsides and I am swept away by a tingling warmth. My limbs feel so heavy at times I can scarcely move. I am starving and I shove slices of an apple in my mouth like a crazed caveman, barely able to handle the simple task myself.
04:30 – Atmospheric re-entry
Although I am enjoying this in some perverse sense of the word, I begin to want it to stop. It is just too much to bear. As anxiety and exhaustion set in, I ask for Xanax, but my sensible sitter asks me to hold off if I can, because we don’t know the effects of Xanax with an MAOI.
Like a spaceship re-entering the atmosphere, the final minutes of the trip were like burning through a wall of sheer terror. It was the most difficult part of the trip, the most exhausting, but very abruptly it began to tail off, and within another 15 minutes or so, I could see the light of consensus reality once again, as if dropping by parachute under a clearing sky. I was relieved indeed.
In no uncertain terms this trip blew me away. It is the single most intense experience I’ve had, and I’ve had quite a few. It was unforgiving, ruthless and downright ferocious, yet uncomprehendingly beautiful. I am damn glad I had a lot of psychedelic experience under my belt before going through it. I also have my faithful girlfriend to thank as she was integral to the control of this situation. It was a beautiful life changing experience for me. It left me feeling profoundly thankful for my life, my friends and family. I was given clear visions with respect to my life, where it is headed, and what I should and should not be doing with it. I have been humbled. I will do it again for sure, I just don’t know when.
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