Citation: Jonas. "Hallucinosexual: An Experience with 2C-B, Moclobemide, Hydergine, Vinpocetine & Codeine (exp5861)". Erowid.org. Mar 24, 2001. erowid.org/exp/5861
I recently had the opportunity to join in on an excursion into the vast hyper-spatial realms of my (un)consciousness. Even though I know that the infinite vistas of the human psyche are impossible to convert into a linear communication media, I will do my best to bring back and share some of the memories from my journey.
To make things somewhat easier to grasp, I'd first like to mention the catalysts that made this joyful excursion possible: At 21.00 I ingested 80mg moclobemide (Aurorix, Manerix) to inhibit the, on some special occasions, annoying & intricate enzymes usually referred to as MAO A. The next hour I spent reading a 'neutral' book ('Novel with cocaine,' by M. Ageyev) just to kill time and distract me from the strong anticipation I felt.
At 22.00 the MAOs seemed to be quite preoccupied (and for some strange reason, content ;) with the alien substrate I introduced them to. This inevitably resulted in an urge to ingest an exogenous neurotransmittor whose primary site of action is the postsynaptic 5-HT2 neurons (yes, my enzymes are very eloquent and pharmacologically inclined =). After some consideration I decided to ingest 20mg of 4-bromo-2,5-dimethoxy-phenylethylamine (often acronymized as 2C-B).
This was not done without obstacles - I just couldn't figure which of the small white pills in the jar that was 2C-B (there were two different kinds: Ubulawu (2C-B) and Vinpocetine), so I took 4 of each to be on the 'safe' side. The effects came on smoothly within an hour, and I climbed (dragged is probably more apt in this case) until I reached the peak at about 23.30. The territory was known from previous attempts to climb Mount Nexus, but this time I was almost blinded by the sharp and colorful landscape though (I took a look in the mirror and noticed that I had very dilated pupils, strange don't You think? ;).
The mental climate was warm and loaded with empathy and erotic feelings, again reminding me of previous encounters with this state of mind (especially those in company with good friends). The imagery (or should I say landscape) consisted of dancing luminous patterns which were following what seemed to be completely logical structures but lacking any deeper meaning as far as I could interpret it. The intent of this trip wasn't to watch the dancing colors (even though I must admit that it was appealing to do so), but to resolve some addiction problems I've been facing lately.
I wanted to experience the everchanging oneness of the whole universe which usually puts me on a new path, leading to a somewhat more creative and purposeful behaviour (note the paradoxical nature of purposeful). If this wasn't possible (it seems to me that this state is hard to reach), I was prepared to do some work within my self's boundaries and deconstruct my archetypical combination and reassemble it in a new way to make my life easier instead of anaesthetize me everyday to make me able to cope with the daily life (I know this sounds pretentious, but it really was my ambition to solve this problem).
At 01.00 I realized that I was not going to reach any plateau where I could work on my problems, even though (judging from the CEVs and OEVs) this trip was *intense*. I decided to introduce some other foreign substances to my body; 3mg ergoloid mesylate (Hydergine - another one of Hofmann's great discoveries) and 70mg of codeine phosphate was ingested with great joy. Shortly after this I mixed 350mg of Afghani hashish (Hindu Kush, grade A+) with some tobacco and smoked it in a tjubang (steamroller; glycol cooled glass-pipe) to introduce Complete Weirdness (tm) to the trip. I didn't feel a thing from the hashish so I loaded my pipe once again with another 350mg and inhaled (almost) all of it. Note that I don't smoke pot in my ordinary state of consciousness as it makes me feel more sick than high, but it seems to synergize remarkably well with 2C-B, leaving no sign of sickness and enhances (intensify is probably a better word) the effects of the bees extremely (try this if You haven't). Cannabis also makes me VERY sexually excited at about 25% of the times that I use it, and this was one of these occasions.
This is where the Complete Weirdness (tm) began. To even try to put this in words seems to be impossible. The following hours (or was it years?) of the trip incorporated (for the first time on a PEA) encounters with elves, alien abduction, fold cycling etc. I will not go into detail of most of these events, but merely extract some of the perceptions that struck me as significant (so far, I haven't been able to digest this trip - I'm still semi-tripping). The events didn't appear in the linear fashion that I might give the impression of - they occured in a more of a hyper-spatial alfa- helix structure kind of way (whatever that means).
I went back from the window (where I had been smoking) to my bed and turned on the TV (I seldom watch it while being sober, and yes, I know it's a *bad* thing to combine drugs =). I didn't feel anything from the Cannabis so far, but after (what I think was) a few minutes I noticed that I began to project my own psychological construction on the people on TV, making them some sort of 3d archetypical projection cloths (This is actually only part of the truth as I thought I actually was a cameraman, being in the studio and this was a manifestation of Complete Weirdness (tm) and everything that accompanies it).
I decided that this was enough, so I switched off the TV. As I was lying there on my back, feelings of acute sexual desire almost overwhelmed me, but as I was quite incapacitated from the combination of drugs I wasn't able to do something about it. When I've been in this position before I've always been in the company of someone with reciprocal thoughts and things have been sorted out in a quite natural way. This time I was all alone and the only way to get relief was to do some kind of psychological masturbation. I was reminded of someone who once told me that monks redirected their sexual energy into 'spiritual-fuel' to enhance the search for the ultimate reality. So I began concentrating on my breath and when it became stable I directed my attention to my lower abdomen. As I let my concentration focus on the sexual energy I split up in two different entities, one being Jonas as I currently know him (locked up in a static 'percept but not interact' mode though) and the other one being a magnified sperm looking kind of entity climbing up the other entity's (Jonas') spine.
The journey up Jonas' spine was very colorful and intricate; I (the sperm) was flowing through a tunnel of multicolored waveforms which sometimes took the shape and gave the impression of living entities. This tunnel did not just affect my (the sperm's) sight but including all my perception organs - I heard bells, strings and flutes, nature sounds (birds, waves, wind, etc.). I smelled a very diverse mix of smells (mostly fruity scents from what I recall, but this might be due to some PEA-synth. implicit metaprogramming).
What I found was most interesting with this perceptional shower was the tactile sense which felt like I was swimming through a dense forest of mucous membranes. The obvious and immediate interpretation of this was that I was in search for an ovum. As I proceeded towards the head, the perceptional sensations became more intense and when I finally reached the head my sexual energy (the sperm) merged with the brain, creating a solid harmony within my conscious frame which resulted in a completely new entity. The entity that was created after the merge had no perceptible body, and the physical organism that was formerly known as Jonas had ceased to exist and there was no hint of input from the physical world.
A whole new sphere of existence appeared, containing elf-like beings, flowing around in (once again) complete logical structures, communicating in a way that from a normal state of consciousness could be interpreted as telepathically (the actual communcation 'media' was perceptible, but it is impossible to describe). To be honest I'm not too fond of these critters floating around trying to make me laugh (their communcation media seems to me as some sort of psychological tickling). It's my firm belief that they are ego productions that distracts one from realizing ones true self. They can of course give some useful information about your (and the emotional and value loaded 'environment') current archetypical configuration but they are a brick in the wall that stops you from seeing (being) your constantly evolving and expanding self. I interacted with the elves for a while before I decided to break through this layer of distraction which I did by focusing on nothing (shikan-taza). As my concentration increased the duality between subject and object started to retreat.
There was this short moment of total emptiness, and then I suddenly felt *very* alone. This loneliness was unbearable and before I knew it I split up (or actually making a 3d 'shadow' of myself - the classic 'fold') which became a beautiful spherical construction attracting me by its female characteristics. I realized that this was a *big* mistake as 'I' now was two autonomous halves. I desperately began 'chasing' her as I wanted to 'complete' myself again. This hide-and-seek game was a very funny occupation, but at the same time it became more and more frustrating. I grasped for 'her,' but she constantly slipped through my 'fingers' with her dynamic, slippery and ergonomically correct appearance, multiplying herself all the time. Things began to get really out of hand and I figured that, as I actually was both of these separate entities, I must have the ability 'keep a look' on both of them.
Now it seemed as if I was perceptionally zoomed out a layer and I could percept the constant expansion and multiplying of 'myself.' This was a totally 'schizophrenic' state as I was this ever increasing amount of entities at the same as I knew that I was one. This aspect of the one was just functioning as a carrier wave ('time?'). I then could zoom in and out through a seemingly infinite number of layers (folds, dimensions, whatever), being different parts of the hide-and-seek game. Note that the expansion was not constant in the sense that it was a uniform expansion - different aspects of the oneness had separate multiplication 'times' in all 'directions.' Once in a while separate manifestations catched up with the continous expansion, merged and went back into the emptiness (the space 'before' the loneliness) instead of multiplying itself. The catching up was done by the former oneness that so badly wanted to become one again. The merging activity was done on separate 'planes' and 'locations' at the same 'time,' but following a seemingly irregular pattern (finally! =). The merging had different 'half-lives' depending on the construction (and the ability - harmonic ratio of shadow (expansion)/non-shadow (static) principles within the entity) of the aspect.
As my attention became more and more affected by the actions of the deconstruction work, the visual imagery became more death and destruction oriented, which resulted in one of these death-feedback-loops so familiar from previous bad trips. I cycled in the feedback-loop for a while before I realized I didn't care if I was going to die or not. The death layer had been resolved during an earlier period of my life which I think I have mentioned before. Anyway, as I broke through this layer (once again employing shikan-taza) things suddenly became 'normal' and I returned to my body. I thought for a while that the trip was over and it was very calm & quiet around me. I could see the dark contours of the interior in my room. I thought that this was very strange, but as the effects of the 2C-B always seems to end quite abruptly it made me a bit insecure.
Suddenly my room was lit up by a sharp monochrome light that seemed to have the correct wavelength and intensity/energy to excite every atom within my body making me radiate light at the same wavelength until I became one with the light and I was suddenly abducted (or teleproted). This experience was just as real as events in 'Real Life' (tm), but I can't see how it's really relevant to my life and I think it just was another manifestation of the ego (maya, makyo etc) to distract me from my self, so I won't go into detail.
An interesting thing though, at this point my visual imagery changed form completely; from a fast flowing motion into a static, though *colorful* and (illusory) perennial 3d landscape. While being in this 3d landscape I once again was overwhelmed by strong sexual feelings, not just feelings but also sexual perceptions, but not perceptions of a human nature - they were just sexual and had nothing to do humans (maybe it's just me who have become hallucinosexual =). I must say that I was perplexed in this state because I was not sure if I actually was walking around in the house where I live, walking in another world (at this time I was a bit insecure whether I died or not in that death-feedback-loop I mentioned) or if it was just an hallucination altogether (If You ever had a real stiff dose of THC You probably how know how this feel). I was stuck in this wonderful and seemingly infinite, but static world for the rest of the trip. It was *very* pleasant, but I wanted to break on through to the next stage, but I was exhausted and was unable to concentrate. I think I went to sleep directly from this state..
Uh, sorry for the abrupt ending, but I got a train to catch..
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