Citation: Yosef. "Liquid On The Inside: An Experience with H.B. Woodrose (exp58476)". Erowid.org. Apr 28, 2007. erowid.org/exp/58476
This report is about a bad trip I took on LSA (or ergine according to Wikipedia) from Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds. I am 16, and suffer from depression and social anxiety. Psychoactives I have taken: Alcohol, Nicotine, Marihuana, Codeine, Dimenhydrinate (Stupid, stupid, stupid!), XTC, MDMA, DXM and amphetamine. I think I may have a borderline substance abuse problem, or at the very least am developing one.
Set & Setting:
I purchased these seeds online, approximately 90 Hawaiian Baby Woodrose Seeds, grown right here in South-East Queensland. According to a drug user on a forum I frequent, these seeds are high quality and very potent. I had used these seeds twice before. On the first occasion, I threw up after half an hour, then after three hours felt the most amazing euphoria imaginable, equivalent to MDMA. The second time was a day later, and with a friend of mine. We had went for a walk that night, which seemed to stretch out for hours but in reality lasted 45 minutes at most. I had trouble getting to sleep, and feared I was slipping into a psychosis. I fell asleep for what seemed like only a second, and woke up several hours later. I spent the day feeling fairly disassociated. 16 days later, we decided to try 10 seeds each. We were in my house, sitting in the kitchen. Fairly relaxed, and we were in a good mood after watching the DVD of 'Rock Profile'. My little brother was there with us, he was sober and aware of what we were doing.
Dosage and timing:
I crushed up 10 seeds each and put them in two mugs with some water. Due to the inconvienance of parents , the seeds soaked for perhaps half an hour. Dose taken at 10 pm approximately. Effects were felt within half an hour.
As we were watching the DVD, I noticed my vision seemed much better and my friend and I were both enjoying the show greatly. When it was done we rushed to the kitchen to play some music (he on bass, me on guitar and my brother on keyboards). We only played for a short while before my friend went to the toilet, thinking he was going to vomit. My brother and I followed shortly, and my friend, R, sat next to the toilet as we tried to comfort him. R started to feel better, and we sat in the bathroom talking for a while. I was chewing a piece of gum, and all of a sudden it felt as though the the gum was becoming nothingness inside my mouth, as though the inside of my mouth were a black hole. That was freaky! We then went to the kitchen and R put on a CD he had brought over with some tunes he felt said a lot about modern society. I was really digging it, then as my younger brother, B, started taking pictures of us in the dark on his phone, all I could do was lay on my back and get lost in my own thoughts.
I considered the decline of society, was the Cultural Revolution we were part of causing this increase in mental illness? I know I certainly felt out of place in modern society, and that this alienation was leading to my depression. My mind felt overwhelmed with the sudden realization of the grave state the Western World is in. I felt helpless. I considered the time just before the 60's, the 50's. The conservative, yet stable society that existed back then. The most important thing for the world to achieve is stability, yet we were spiralling towards massive upheaval and instability it seemed. I began to think that perhaps I, who considered myself a progressive, Left leaning sort of guy, is perhaps a very conservative person in real life. The experience was exposing a part of my personality I had often hidden, and was forcing me to think about my fears and mental problems. I think that perhaps since I didn't confront it, this led to the bad trip I was to have.
Time seemed to stretch out quite a bit, and I am not sure what time it was when we decided to go lie down. It was at least 1:30 am. I think. Anyhow, I was lying in my bed curled up when I suddenly felt my brain shake in my skull. Now I know the vibrations I felt were my own doing, I was simply clenching my jaw which was causing the sound and feeling, but under the influence it was amplified massively. It went on and on, and I decided that I was dying. I had been having suicidal thoughts recently, and this may have been the trip bringing it to light and shoving those thoughts in my face. I felt my liquid in my mouth, blood. I felt my insides turn to liquid, and I imagined the brain shakes I was having were a seizure, and that I was in my death throes.
After dying for around half an hour I decided to visit my friend in his room. Fast asleep he was. I woke him up and explained the situation. He excused himself to go to the bathroom, and I heard my mother stir. I leapt back into bed and reassured her that I was just unable to sleep. After she went back to her bedroom, I went back to R who was back in his room. He began telling me it was OK, the trip would end eventually. This calmed me down, and eventualy I went back to my bed. The seizures started again, my organs liquified and I felt as though I were on the verge of 'Knockin' On Heaven's Door'.
R and I went to the bathroom, and I asked if we should go to my mother and tell her. He was reluctant, he didn't want to get in trouble. We sat there ten minutes and I had a glass of water, and still was very frightened I was going to die. Words cannot put across the absolute fear I felt, and I was very remorseful for the fact that not too long ago I had welcomed death's arms.
Eventually we woke my mother, showed her the seeds and explained the situation. She rang Poisons Control, and they recommended taking me to the hospital. I was still hallucinating, the road seemed so long, and plants and walls breathed and moved in the hospital rooms. My mother signed me in and gave them the bag of HBWR. They looked up the seeds on the computer, and I told the nurse they were meant to have LSA, or lysergic acid amides, in them. She was telling me that she knew what LSD is, and that there is no LSD in them. That made me feel so indignified, but I controlled my urge to yell and shout and explain what I was talking about, of course there wasn't LSD in them! I'm not stupid, I'm just trying to help!
Eventually the doctors gathered enough information to decide that the best thing for me would be to let me wait out the bad trip in the hospital bed. The 'medically concerning' thing was the alkaloids, the Doctor said. My heartrate was fine, though my temperature was high. They plugged me into a drip and put 2L of fluid into me over the next few hours. I lay there either watching the exit sign breath and distort, watching the walls breath or just being lost in my mind. I can't recall sleeping, but when I got up to give a urine test it was daylight outside. I left the hospital just before 8. I would just like to take the opportunity now to give a shout out to the staff at the St. Andrew's Hospital in Brisbane, who were very professional and did a great job. They even gave the seeds back! To my mother though...I haven't seen them since.
For the next couple of days I felt out of it, as though things weren't quite real. My parents have arranged to take me to a doctor and to counselling to try and mend my depression. Two days after the experience, I had a rather bad anxiety attack at work, the first time it had happened there. Usually I love work, I love being around my friends there but that day was different. I have also experienced depression, although I do not think it is related to my trip, rather to the continued alienation I feel from society.
In conclusion, I will most definitley pursue experiences like these again. When I get some replacement seeds, I will stick to doses of 8, and try and trip mainly in the daytime which seems to be better for me. Take my advice, and start off at around 5 seeds. It's better to have the experience under your belt before attempting something big.
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