Citation: jAkbar. "I Became Eternity: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp57345)". Erowid.org. Jun 1, 2009. erowid.org/exp/57345
I have tried a couple of other drugs before, but I wouldn't consider myself hardcore at all. I drink occasionally (I actually don't really enjoy drinking), I have used mushrooms about half a dozen times this summer (insane by the way, I love it), I smoke cannabis on a regular basis, and I have smoked 10x salvia about 7 or 8 times prior to this experience.
Setting: In a university residence in Ontario Canada, two male friends who will be tripping with me. The room is pretty damn small, don't know the exact size. The main area of focus for my trip is the bed. The bed was very comfortable and I had prepared a pillow and everything so I could smoke and fall back as I had done in almost all of my other salvia trips.
Alright, so everything starts off with the bong I had created that day. It's one of my finest creations, and it's extremely simple to make. Anyway. Packed the bowl, sat down, and took 1 Very Large Hit. Now most people don't understand when I say I take very large hits until they see it to believe it. I'm a lifeguard, and I loooove swimming and meditation, which both concentrate alot on the breathing. So I can hold my breath in for 2 minutes, and I can inhale for 1 minute and 20 seconds. Needless to say, I finish bowls in one or two hits max. Yes, have air entering my mouth, or in other words for all the stoners out there reading this story: I can make bubbles in the bong non-stop for 1min20.
So, I had a pretty large bowl, hence I took a pretty large hit (according to the sitter, it was about 45-50 seconds of inhaling and 20-25 seconds of holding it in), and the salvia started hitting me while I was still inhaling. The bong started feeling like it was buzzing in my hands, lightly rumbling. That made me giggle a little while I was holding the hit in, and as I let go of all the air in my lungs to get some fresh air, I was gone. Salvia, weed, mush, whatever, I’m usually the one that trips the fastest and the hardest. So this salvia hit me like a train considering it was my first time doing 20x.
I leaned back onto the pillow that I had set up and I closed my eyes as I drifted off into a dreamy state of consistent laughter where I was laughing so hard I was crying because it felt like reality had in fact been slapped on a reel of film, one of those really old frame-by-frame rolls that are huge.. anyway. It felt like that, except the reel was slower than normal, so I could see each frame a little bit longer than I normally should. You know when you have a screwed VHS movie and the image twitches or slides up and down the screen? That’s what it was like… but my whole reality was engulfed in this, and I figured, at the time, that maybe my whole life was nothing but a movie that I had been watching from a virtual-reality television of some sort.
But by the time I was halfway through wondering about that, I was sling-shot from earth with an incredibly intense sensation of insane acceleration (the kind you get in maaajor roller-coasters) through the stratosphere and through the solar system and then through the universe and then… nothing. Everything went black. There was no sound, there was no colors, there was no thoughts, no feelings… there was no.. “ME”. I had become.. “it”. I had become eternity. My mind, my spiritual self, had been stretched like a blanket over an infinity of miles over the universe to create what us humans perceived as eternity. I basked in awe and wonder for a bit considering this possibility.
Then slowly, the darkness started filling with a feeling. Not a color, not something visual, a feeling. So this will be hard to explain… I could feel the emptiness and the darkness around me becoming something physical, something I could walk up to and touch, something that had a boundary. This then defied all logic because how could I possibly be able to touch infinity??
It is then I realized. My spiritual self, my mind, was becoming something concrete. It was becoming my physical self. The darkness slowly became harder and harder, and it started breaking apart in an infinity of infinitely small slices. It was as though I was feeling the same feeling of acceleration as the start, except instead of being shot out towards space, it was as though I was falling towards earth with my back facing the ground. Around me, eternity and darkness were still degrading. At that point, some visuals started occurring, and I was pretty much in the center of all the action. Everywhere around me (over, under, left, right, front, back) the black eternity around me started degrading into multicolored, very beautifully colored, replicas of my fingers and arms and head and feet, every single inch of my body pretty much, and those pieces slowly started being sucked into me, taken from the sheet of infinity I had been. The yellow hands then proceeded to try and give me hugs, to massage me, and the blue heads were all very worried about me and asking me how I was, while the red heads seemed angry at me. And as all of this was happening, I was wondering about only one thing. If I wasn't eternity and everyone thought I was, then what is eternity? Because even eternity degraded and had something hidden behind it! My body then continued to suck in a bunch of pieces from the degrading eternity until 'I' had been created.
Then I opened my eyes and my trip was over. I felt wonderful and in awe. So for those who didn’t understand what I explained at the end, pretty much, in simple words, I was eternity, and eternity was like a boundary in space (or perhaps in my mind if we really want to read into this trip psychologically) and then it got molded into something physical (me being stretched over the universe creating some kind of human sheet of infinity) and then it disintegrated, just to make it obvious that beyond “me” (infinity), there is only more infinity. I also think that the salvia was trying to show me what I was truly made of.
I don't think I will ever be able to get into that exact state of mind and have the same trip as this one, but if I was able to, I would try to concentrate more on what the heads were saying and which colors were mostly being used to create me, because I strongly believe that colors have a meaning in most salvia trips. And let me tell you, words cannot even go near explaining what I went through. Words cannot explain what the human mind and body go through while on Salvia… They can only give you a general idea.. Definitely one of the most rewarding Salvia trips I’ve ever had, now I’m pumped for next time!
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