Citation: KT. "Able to Start Living Again: An Experience with Buprenorphine (Subutex) & Buprenorphine with Naloxone (Suboxone) (exp57318)". Erowid.org. Oct 10, 2010. erowid.org/exp/57318
Two weeks ago I finally decided to get some help for my addiction to hydrocodone. It took about 6 hours and dozens of phone calls but I finally found a doctor who specialized in addiction medicine. He suggested that I get on Suboxone and said that if I wanted, I could take it for the rest of my life. I scheduled my next appointment two weeks out so that I could binge one last time on my precious hdyro.
On the day of my appointment, which happened earlier today, the doctor asked me when was the last time I took hydro and I told him 24 hours even though it had only been 12. I don't know why I lied...I think because I was afraid he wouldn't give me the suboxone. Anyway, I wasn't quite feeling withdrawls yet so when he gave me the first pill, a 2 mg of subutex, which is suboxone without the opiate blocker, I didn't feel any differently. After a half hour, he gave me another pill which was suboxone. He wrote me a script for 15 8mg pills.
After filling the script, I took another pill, letting it dissolve under my tongue and went to work. As far as the effects, I was able to work and was not irritated or unfocused (this is how I feel when I'm at work and going through withdrawls). In fact, I was a bit speedy and got a lot done. At one point, I was looking for some documents on my desk, and I kind of zoned out. I glanced up at my co-worker and he was giving me a strange look. Besides that one incident, I actually felt fine and even stayed late to catch up on work. Oh and on a final positive note, I was able to go poo which is something that is nearly impossible on hydro.
So I just got home and I started to get cravings again. Not withdrawls, just cravings. So I popped two more pills (which is almost double the dosage that I'm supposed to take)--that's 16mg's and I started reading about the drug online. It seems that everyone else is getting really high off 2mg and here I am, feeling a much less effect from the drug and I've taken 16mg! I'm not warm and itchy, the way I yearn to feel. A little woozy but it is nothing like the feeling that hydro gave me. Prior to this, I had been taking over 200mg of hydro a day and I hardly got high at all any more. Maybe my tolerance is just too strong. Or maybe I should try this drug when I'm in withdrawls hell. I guess I just need to realize that the purpose of taking this drug is not to get high but to start living again.
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