Citation: Dondante. "Communicating Raw Emotion: An Experience with 2C-T-21 & DMT (exp56829)". Erowid.org. Oct 22, 2006. erowid.org/exp/56829
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Iíd been interested in trying a full dose of 2C-T-21 for quite a while now. Iíd tried it once before, but at a dose of 5 mg where I felt a pleasant mood lift and mild color enhancement, but nothing that could be definitively distinguished from placebo (maybe a +). I was lucky enough to find a friend who was willing to part with some of his so I could have the pleasure of experiencing such a rare chemical. Iíll start with a little background on my experience. I very rarely take a particular psychedelic twice in a row, at least since I acquired a decent collection that now resides safely in my freezer. There are probably only a few substances that Iíve used more than 3 times (not including titrating up a dose, which I donít do as carefully as I should these days), but Iíve tripped nearly 50 times. Different perspectives of the psychedelic experience are what I crave.
After reading the reports on this substance (there are only a handful out there) I decided to dose on the upper end of the spectrum, since there didnít seem to be any overly intense reports that Iíd found. I decided to go with 16 mg. I probably would have done a lower second trial dosage, but I donít have the time to trip very often these days, so I want each to be worthwhile. My last trip was with a low to moderate dose of 2C-C and I was very disappointed and felt Iíd wasted a night with marginal psychedelia and mostly boredom. I trip maybe once every few months now as opposed to twice a month last year. So hereís some more background below.
In case anyone hasnít noticed that I have an obsession with My Morning Jacket Ö well yeah, I do Ö my username, Dondante, is my favorite MMJ song (possibly in a tie with a few others) and the panda, my avatar, yep Ö also from MMJ. Let me give a quick history of how this band became an integral part of who I am. I was introduced to MMJ as a sophomore in college in the fall of my junior year, 2003, not long after they released a new album, It Still Moves. I was 20 years old, and had never tried mushrooms, but the opportunity presented itself and of course I took advantage of it. I hadnít been a huge fan of pot, but Iíd tried DXM a couple times that past summer and found it to be a wonderful experience. The little experimentation Iíd done had initiated major transformation in worldview.
Iíd given up Christianity and had been oscillating between defining myself as an atheist and an agnostic. Anyway, it just so happened that one of my buddies thought the MMJ would be an essential part of this trip, so he brought it along. I wonít make this a report of my first mushroom trip, but suffice to say that it was the peak drug experience of my life to that point. I was hooked Ö both on the psychedelic experience and on MMJ. The voice of the lead singer, Jim James, made me feel like I was floating in the clouds. I saw, heard and physically touched the smooth melodies and the most beautiful reverb that Iíd ever heard. Sound waves poured out of the speakers and weighted me down. Guitar riffs rained down on me and at one point I could feel each chord dripping its wetness on my skin. I had never in my existence experienced the degree of bliss and ecstasy that I felt during my first time listening to MMJ.
Fast forward almost two years Ö I attended Bonnaroo in Tennessee. I had two performances that were at the top of my list, MMJ and Radiohead Ö everything else was icing on the cake. Let me mention that I had been longing to try LSD since I began experimenting with various psychedelic chemicals, but had never found the elusive and intriguing lysergic acid diethylamide. Well, as you might guess, my first MMJ show, arguably their best performance ever, was my first LSD experience. And on top of that I dosed 120 mg MDMA crystal at the beginning of the show. This experience was similar to my first except amplified by 100x. It was a beautiful experience, shared by thousands of people. I was surrounded by people that were as passionate about the band as I was, and it was amazing too that a majority of them were under the influence of psychedelics. So thatís my track record so far with this wonderful band, not to mention that I have listened to them for at least part of just about every trip Iíve ever taken.
10:00 p.m. (T+0:00)
16 mg 2C-T-21 goes down the hatch in a gelatin capsule (thatís 0.20 mg/kg for those interested). One friend ingests 36 mg 2C-B (wants a strong but primarily visual trip, had previously taken 28 mg w/ no problems) and the other ingests 28 mg 4-HO-DIPT (wants primarily a body high, and a light trip). About 15 minutes later we leave my apartment to go pick up a new MMJ live CD that I lent to a friend and go to one of the friendís houses. Now, I love my apartment, but thought a change of scenery couldnít hurt, not to mention my friendís roommate had a new chocolate lab puppy AND Discovery HD, two pluses. Still, it was MMJ that was the focus of the trip. I hadnít yet listened to the new CD in full.
First alerts, some anxiety. Not sure what to expect since there were so few reports on higher doses of 2C-T-21. We are safely over at my friendís house before any effects were noticed. Over the next half hour Iím trying to define the nature of the substance. The anxiety fades, but I am still unclear as to if there is any psychedelia. My thoughts feel slightly cloudy. I feel a twinge of hunger, but I ate only 2 hours ago. Usually I donít even think about food during the come up. The friend that took 36 mg 2C-B is becoming quite paranoid. Iím sure most of us have experienced this before, where you feel that you are anticipating something bad happening. Heís tried this chemical before at up to 28 mg and been fine. He thinks he hears a fire alarm go off, but thereís nothing other than music.
The 2C-B friend decides to go outside and get some fresh air to try and gather himself. He comes in looking confused and lost. Being a jackass (really out of character for me) I yell, ďHey, dude, what are you doing in here,Ē upon which he turns to run for the door thinking heíd entered the wrong apartment. Man, that was not cool Ö I really didnít realize how fragile his state of mind was. I felt really bad and scared the shit out of him, but I calmed him down quickly. I realize how Iíd been in that situation before where my mental stability was hanging in there rather precariously, and I couldnít believe Iíd taken advantage of it. Luckily he was able to laugh about it later, not that it justified fucking with him. After 10 more minutes of being on edge I offered him 1 mg xanax to calm his nerves. I think there are some situations where xanax is the wrong choice, but when itís pure paranoia and nothing worth working through, it can be a life saver. He kept asking when it would kick in (at least five times in 30 minutes). So at this point the vibe of the trip was not positive to say the least. As far as the T-21, I really just wasnít letting it work its magic. I was resisting the chemical in an attempt to make sure everything was alright since I was the one that had given him the 2C-B.
2C-B friend announces, ďGuys Ö I just got reeeeally happy!Ē What a load off my shoulders Ö his sudden mood change changed the whole direction of the trip. It was pretty damn funny at the time too. I finally could relax and not worry about him freaking out. This is when I first noticed that I was tripping. I was having a lot of trouble controlling my laughing after his emotional declaration and I noticed that the blinds were starting to come to life. Blinds seems to often be involved in the switch from the pre-psychedelic to the fully psychedelic part of the experience. Thereís something about the arrangement of the closely spaced parallel lines that causes my eyes to sense extra depth and make them kind of jump out of their normal boring appearance. The visuals were unimpressive, but at least now I was very comfortable and enjoying the trip. I felt a noticeable stimulation, but it was not at all uncomfortable. It felt great to flex the muscles in my legs and feet Ö body feeling somewhat reminiscent of 2C-B. Smoke some herb Ö I said I wasnít a big fan of pot, but the synergism with psychedelics is always amazing.
Iím feeling damn good; thereís stimulation, but itís not uncomfortable, and thereís euphoria, but it is quite different from MDMA. I do feel the need to get up and move around every once in a while, but it does feel good to just sit and focus on the sensations that permeate my body. I focus on my feet, and they feel absolutely full of energy, must stretch them, flex them, every movement feels divine. I curl my toes in as far as I can, extend them out, rotate my ankles, stretching has never been this amazing. My hands feel the same way. This substance still lacks the forced empathy of MDMA, but the euphoria is definitely there. 2C-T-21 definitely has more similarities with 2C-B than MDMA although the visual system is relatively untouched. I also think that it feels better and cleaner than 2C-B. Iíd say the mind state is quite similar, not forceful. Itís hard to tell from a single dose though.
MMJ has been playing for a while now, and it has started to really catch my attention. After listening to Okonokos a few times, their 2nd disc is definitely the better of the two although the first is great as well. So Iím not sure if the trip was peaking or the music was just getting better. Disc 2 is straight up all favorites of mine and damn good live versions too. What I love so much about this band is they are rock (not hippy jam band) but they can fucking jam in concert. My favorite description of MMJ Ö in a review of their epic Bonnaroo performance: ďÖ the band unleashed its three guitars in songs that pealed and surged in structures with monumental architecture.Ē And this, ďThe bandís spatial harmonics are complex and varied, from tight, syncopated thunder strikes of heavy rock to delicate, space flight patterns from early Pink Floyd Ö A rare occurrence in our world, that kind of music from the heart reaffirms the healing properties of the electric guitar.Ē The monumental architecture was now taking form in my mind. 2C-T-21 did not enhance music like some psychedelics, but there was some auditory sensory change. I still would define this drug as a primarily affecting senses of touch and perhaps that of proprioception ... the somatic senses, versus the processes of the mind. I think this would make a fine sexual enhancer.
I didn't really notice much in the way of entactogenic properties with 2C-T-21 on its own. I thought it was more of a self-indulgent or at least self-centered drug. My focus was drawn to my own feelings and sensations rather than those of others. And even then, it seemed more recreational than therapeutic. That can be chalked up to set and setting though. Iíd like to think Iím not too easily affected by the power of suggestion, but I completely agree with a PIHKAL report in which the subject says, ďI find I can use it if I set my energy in a direction I really want to go in. Otherwise I can just be stoned and self-indulgent. Not out-of-body cosmic at all. But it's good material, an ally, not presenting hidden negatives.Ē
I know how we can fix this ďnot out-of-body cosmicĒ problem.
I loaded 50 mg DMT into a bowl on top of some the marijuana ash, held the lighter just above the crystals and watch as they melted and infused into the plant matter below. A small amount of smoke came through and I inhaled deeply. My ears began to buzz slightly and the room takes on a fine vibration. I mentally tried to prepare myself to leave this plane of existence, focusing on two things: holding the next toke in as long as I could and letting go as the molecule unlocked my mind, freeing it from the chains tying it to myself, my perceptions, my memories, my identity.
After the exhaling a very dense, white cloud of DMT smoke, I almost immediately began rocketing upwards. Every muscle in my body had tensed with so much energy that I though I was going to explode. My senses felt completely jumbled. My last instinct was to lay down, grab a pillow and cover my eyes and ears. I wanted no distractions Ö nothing to tie me to the world I was leaving. I could even hear the muscles in my inner ear tensing, perceived as a loud, thundering sound similar to that of a rocket ship blasting off. I felt my body expanding and stretching out Ö it was as if I was approaching the speed of light. I felt like my solid form had lost its integrity and I was existing as pure energy, massless, zipping through space. This space seemed empty in that there were no solid objects, but full with energy that created incredible kaleidoscopic and geometric images.
I felt like I was approaching the end of this worm hole that I had been rocketed through. Even with a pillow covering my face, and my eyes closed, there was a brilliant shimmering light in front of me.
No external sensory perception necessary, neurons firing uncontrollably. A scene started to take form. There were no faces, but the geometry, composed entirely of iridescent wire frames, bending and warping, seemed to be communicating with me, inviting me in. I felt that these ďcreaturesĒ were waving, and dancing, conveying to me a sense of happiness and welcome. I donít remember mistaking these things for living beings, but at the time 'beings' didnít have the same meaning to me. These images somehow communicated, or if it doesnít qualify as communication, Iíll say they affected me deeply without any language or symbols. These seemingly external geometries were transferring to me raw emotion. Not information, but emotion (love, happiness, safety, togetherness, etc.) was coming into my awareness from what seemed to be an external source. This was an absolutely amazing experience.
I remember literally writhing in ecstasy. I couldnít control myself, well at least I didnít want to. Becoming conscious of this was the first indication that I was coming down. I noticed that Iíd been moving, tensing every muscle in my body. The glowing forms dissipated as quickly as theyíd arrived. I felt my mind come rushing back into my body.
Iíd tried DMT twice before, and I tried it again later that night, but this was ďthe DMT experienceĒ Ö the one that defines my memory of the substance. It was a rocket ship, or rather I was one for a short time, and I was transported to a place where language is of no use and all that exists is deep, raw emotion. That was such an odd experience primarily because as humans, we canít directly communicate emotion. We can do so indirectly, but only through words, expressions, and actions. We can not take an emotion that we are feeling and make another human experience that exact emotion. The feeling of having an emotion coming from outside me is indescribable. I think I finally experienced the magic of DMT. It will take me a while to process this experience, but thereís no way I can forget it. I sill donít know what to make of it.
I know Iíve jumped around a lot, and maybe didnít say as much about 2C-T-21 as Iíd hoped, and possibly more about MMJ than youíd like, but this DMT experience was overwhelming. It was like at that point the night stopped. All three of us had tried DMT and there wasnít a whole lot of group communication afterwards. Everyone was in their own mind, trying to process the meaning of what theyíd just experienced. I have memories from the rest of the trip, but comparatively, they are meaningless. To sum the rest of the night, we ordered some food at 2:00, I was mostly down by 3:00 and was asleep around 4:30 a.m. I woke up the next day some time in the afternoon, my mind feeling slightly foggy, but most of all just feeling lucky that Iíd experienced something special. My conclusion is that 2C-T-21 can serve as an excellent jumping off point for DMT. I donít think 2C-T-21 is at the top of my list in its own right, but it has its strengths, and I give it my seal of approval.
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