DOSE:

0.5 tablets

oral

MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

124 lb

I was very freaked out with the thought of taking drugs. The anti-drug commercials really did scare the shit out of me. They say you can die the first time or get a heart attack. So I wanted to try 1/2 a tablet. At least I would get half an effect and take the other when I feel like I need more. I was with a friend of mine and he took a whole tablet. So we went to the beach and waited till it took effect. After 30 minutes he felt something and was ZOINKED. All I noticed was that the waves were more precise and sharp. When it hit the shore it wasn’t really slow. It was really sharp and detailed. I wear glasses. But when I wasn’t wearing them everything was more detailed. So my vision was way better. I didn’t eat anything all day. But the pill made me hungry, but not have the desire to pig out. I just didn’t feel like it.

FEAR
Throughout the whole 45 minutes I was just waiting to see if something would pop out or if I’ll hallucinate or something. Which I didn’t. I told my friend I was kinda hungry. So we went to Dennys. And that was when I finally got to my climax. Next thing I know, I’m talking a mile a minute. Talking about the dumbest shit ever. I remember me talking about a tuna sandwich I ate two days ago. And how good it was. Then remember everything being VERY sharp than usual. The waitress would be across the room one second... then zoom next to me the next second. I hated her. I didn’t want to around her. I didn’t want her to hurt me. I really thought that I wanted to kick her ass. I stayed at the corner of the booth we was eating at. Then he told me to sit by him it’ll be okay. But I wasn’t I was scared of her but I didn’t know why.

Feeling LOVE then depression
Then a few minutes after that I started to feel really euphoric and sleepy. Everything was really slow. I couldn't talk anymore and I couldn’t really think. I tried to talk but I would always stop in the middle of a sentence. I tried to walk out but I couldn’t. I tried to stand up but I couldn’t. It was crazy. Then when we was in his car he took the top off and wind was everywhere. I couldn’t really see anymore. Then the music came on and it changed everything. It was the best music ever. I was just feeling the wind and the music and I loved it. I had no worries and it was sooo cool. Then we parked somewhere and made out. And I FELT like I was making love. I never knew what making love was. But that was making love. It was like I was breathing him and he was breathing me. Like we were one. We didn’t have sex. And I didn’t feel horney so I really don’t believe that myth. Then the pills died down.

And later that night 3 hrs later I was depressed. I hated my life. I hated the littlest things. I felt really sad. And I thought about things that I tried to avoid. I’m ex-cutter, so I began to cut. I didn’t really sleep that night. But a few days after, I couldn’t really eat. I didn’t have much appetite.

Conclusion
I was reunited with old feelings I didn’t want to be reunited with.

I am definitely gonna do the whole tablet in January. I can’t wait.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 56178
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 20, 2021	Views: 585
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MDMA (3) : Depression (15), First Times (2), Small Group (2-9) (17)